beyond remission – words of advice for thriving

i could not be more excited to share this book with each of you. my dear friend (gracelyn) and her aunt (melody, a cancer survivor), spent the last couple of years creating this work of art.

beyond remission – words of advice for thriving is an extraordinary collection of stories, photographs and advice from cancer survivors to those battling it now, those in remission and honestly, anyone who has been impacted by cancer. i cannot name a single person in my inner circle who has not been impacted my cancer in some capacity. can you?

this book is truly for everyone and has people from all walks of life represented – young, old, black, white, men, women and literally every kind of cancer you can think of. it shows how cancer does not discriminate but more importantly, it shows how beautiful life can be in spite of and/or after cancer. so frequently, stories around cancer are not told because it is a taboo topic. part of why this book is extraordinary is because gracelyn and melody dive in with each survivor. in this book, there is definitely a story for everyone and no two are the same.

this book was a labor of love and was made even more phenomenal due to melody being able to connect closely with the stories being told due to her own experiences acute lymphoblastic leukemia (which she dives into in the book). the vulnerability of melody and every single one of the participants in the book is nothing short of awe inspiring. there is an unreal amount of positivity weaved throughout the book and with my own study of gratitude and positive psychology, this is something that stood out to me. it is certainly a mindset and outlook we could all use a little more of.

it is hard to choose which quotes resonated with me the most but i tried to choose my favorite five:

1. never once did i consider not making a full recovery. -amy, breast cancer

2. i wanted no pity, just everyone’s love and support. -erika, breast cancer

3. surviving means remembering those who didn’t, and living every day of your life in search of why you did. -kyle, testicular cancer

4. for the first time in my life, i was open to leaning on people and feeling vulnerable, instead of always being in control. -kara, synovial sarcoma

5. each time i revisit my cancer journey, i am reminded of how far i’ve come and what a gift it is to be alive. -audrey, ovarian cancer

as if this book isn’t motivational and moving enough, gracelyn and melody are doing so much to give back to the cancer community through their foundation, luna peak. there are few things i love more than people giving back and women showing time and time again that they can rule the world.

to say i am honored to know gracelyn and proud to call her a friend would be a gross understatement.

you can get your hands on a copy of beyond remission – words of advice for thriving on amazon or barnes and noble.

the only regret i have is not ordering more than one copy because after reading, i know many survivors in my life would benefit greatly. i also have a dear friend currently battling lymphoma that explicitly stated how she wants to be surrounded by positivity – this book is full of it.

once you read it, tell me which quotes resonate most with you.

xoxo,

k. tap

boxfox

prior to last month, i had never heard of boxfox and now, i am here to tell you about how much i love this company.  it is gift giving made easy while also having the ability to be totally unique and customizable if you so choose.

 

in may, i had a surprise delivery from my dear friend, nicole.  she is always on top of the latest and greatest in health, beauty and yummy treats, which is not surprising with her working on the love goodly team.  this is the box she gifted to me:

 

 

it included:

  1. a rose gold ink pen
  2. a floral notebook by rifle paper co.
  3. rose hibiscus coconut water hydrating face mist by herbivore
  4. cold brew gummy bears by sugarfina
  5. genmaicha green tea by no. six depot

 

with the month of may typically being a rough one and those emotions being heightened due to the pandemic, the craziness of work and the racial injustice in our nation, each of the five items have served a special purpose.  i love being able to put pen to paper to jot down thoughts, ideas, feelings and all of the things i am trying to figure out how to say in person.  i have been working on my skincare regimen because now that i am 30, i am ultra aware of how our skin is the largest organ on our bodies so i am treating it as such – shout out to my rose hibiscus face mist! i started drinking caffeine regularly again once we were sheltering in place and these cold brew gummy bears are the perfect midday pick me up.  and who can say no to a warm cup of tea to just soothe the soul?

 

as if i was not already obsessed with boxfox, a second surprise one arrived courtesy of one of my favorite couples, gio and liz.  liz has a super dope blog, by the way.  you can catch up on that here.  gio and liz regularly tune into my instagram live sessions and before even hearing my last one in full, gio told liz that i sounded sad.  i am typically good at compartmentalizing so the fact that he could pick up on that was quite telling.  fast forward to them surprising me with my second box in lieu of the hug we couldn’t do due to covid-19.  this box was equally awesome but had totally different items:

 

 

  1. two face masks by lapcos
  2. a sparking rosé candle by voluspa
  3. a stainless steel champagne flute by corkcicle
  4. dark chocolate with smoked sea salt by compartes
  5. 52 lists for calm by moorea seal

 

first of all, i teared up when reading the message both because i was so shocked and just touched by the thoughtfulness of my friends.  clearly, gio and liz picked up on the skincare obsession.  i have a stainless steel wine glass but did not know how much i needed this corkcicle.  while i do not eat chocolate often, when i do crave it, i like it balanced with sea salt or caramel.  and a book that involves list making and calmness?  that has kristin written all over it.

 

so i am sure you are interested in boxfox because who wouldn’t be?  there are prearranged boxes to choose from or you can build a box from top to bottom based on category, budget and vibe.  there are gifts for everyone on here, including dads (if you need to send a belated father’s day gift). and even amidst covid, they are shipping in three to six business days.

 

if you are looking for a birthday gift, bridesmaid boxes, graduation gift or something to just show someone how special they are to you, boxfox is the way to go.  if you have any questions, let me know!  i am working on building some boxes of my own as we speak.

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

 

inward

something i noticed in the couple of weeks i have been working from home is the amount of time i spend in front of a screen.  whether it be a video conference, updating spreadsheets or responding to dozens of emails, i am in front of a screen at least 5x the amount i typically am during a work day.  that being said, i do not just want to spend my time quarantined binging shows (even though i definitely will do some of that).  i have decided to read (and post) a book per week.  not only is it guaranteed time away from a screen (because i refuse to read on a kindle/ipad), it is guaranteed time to have my mind focus on something other than covid-19 and its effect on the world as a whole and each of my clients.  sometimes, we all just need a healthy distraction.

 

this week, my distraction was the revised and expanded version of “inward” by yung pueblo.  it was one of the gifts i received for my 30th birthday that i know will be revisited time and time again.  that’s the thing about a great book – it never goes out of style.  thank you so much, jenny.  it was exactly what i didn’t know i needed.

 

 

in many ways, “inward” mirrors the types of conversations i have with jenny over sushi or coffee. it made me happy to realize how much we’ve both grown in both vulnerability and being able to ask for help when needed. “inward” highlights how you can challenge yourself while still being gentle with yourself. the two can definitely coexist.

below are some of my favorite poems.  the book is full of words that stopped me in my tracks, jumpstarted deep reflection and made me grateful of the progress i have made thus far while acknowledging the work that still needs to be done.

 

 

to get a copy of “inward” without leaving your home, click here.

is there a poem above that resonated with you? which one and why?

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

 

corazón

because so many of my friends know i am an avid reader, i was gifted some really amazing books for my 30th birthday.  i am incredibly fortunate to work with some phenomenal human beings and many of them are these powerful women who are simply forces to be reckoned with.  amanda is one of those forces so of course, it came as no surprise that she gifted me two books that are written by strong women.  let me introduce you to “corazón” – a raw book of poems by yesika salgado.

 

 

the cover and title alone reeled me in.  then as i started to read, there were so many things i connected with.  yesika is a woman of color, plus sized and an la native.  she writes about life, love, lust, heartache, her body and her soul.  she is bold and unapologetic. she covers topics some would be afraid or ashamed to touch. i love her.

 

i don’t think there was a single poem i did not love but here are some for you to enjoy:

 

 

did you have a favorite?  let me know in the comments below!  if you are yearning for more, you can find “corazón” by yesika salgado here.

 

i know i will be reading a lot more while quarantined.  if you have any recommendations, send them my way.

 

xoxo,

k. tap

what’s your apology language?

i am all about a good assessment, especially if can help improve the communication in my relationships whether those are with friends, family, partners or coworkers.  while i have talked extensively about the 5 love languages both on this blog and on my instagram live sessions (there is one tonight, by the way at 7pm pst), i have yet to cover apology languages.  because gary chapman is brilliant, he decided to take it a step further and write a book on apology languages that i think pairs excellently with the 5 love languages.

 

similar to the 5 love languages, there are 5 apology languages.  the major difference between the two is that the love languages are on a 30 point scale whereas the apology languages are on a 20 point scale.  generally, people have one or two dominant languages.  however, even if you have a low number for one of them, it does not mean it is unimportant, it is just not your preferred method of apologies in most cases.  now, let’s go over each of the five apology languages:

  1. accept responsibility – this means it is important for you to hear the other person set aside their pride and simply admit their wrongdoing paired with a sincere apology
  2. expressing regret – this is more about admitting both guilt and shame while taking ownership (this one is often done best in person so the person receiving the apology can see the sincerity in body language)
  3. genuinely repent – this is about both feeling the hurt that was caused and also making a real plan to modify that behavior moving forward so there is not a repeat of the same scenario
  4. make restitution – this type of apology requires justification for the actions in question and also requires knowledge of the preferred love language of the person being apologized to so that can be paired with said justification
  5. request forgiveness – this is assurance for the person receiving it that there is awareness of wrongdoing and it is important enough to not only address but to ask for forgiveness which places the ball in the court of the person receiving the apology

 

in reading those descriptions, is there one that sounds the most like you?  i know there were a couple that stood out to me.  even though i took this assessment a couple of years ago, i took it again to see if there were any shifts and my apology languages have evolved with me.

 

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make restitution – 8

accept responsibility – 6

expressing regret – 3

genuinely repent – 3

request forgiveness – 0

 

i am clearly a woman of extremes based on this point distribution.  but when i thought about the apologies that have meant the most to me, the things they all have in common are an explanation of what led them to making the decision they made, taking accountability, informing me of a plan to avoid us being in this predicament in the future and it all being sincere.  i don’t necessarily need groveling and while words are great, without action, they are meaningless.

 

have you already taken the assessment?  if not, you can do so here.

 

to buy the 5 languages of apology book (“when sorry isn’t enough”), head over to amazon.  you can snag a paperback copy for about 10 bucks.  for my people out there that don’t love reading, it is also available on audible.

 

xoxo,

k. tap