thought of the week: requirements

first off, i hope all of you have had a decent start to the week.  typically, i would say good start or great start but i think that is a bit harder to achieve amidst covid/quarantine.  and trust me, that is okay.  sometimes, a decent start is still something to celebrate.


shifting gears, i want to touch on what it looks like to date during quarantine.  some of my friends are already boo’d up so this does not apply to them.  others have no interest in getting to know anyone new during this time as simply managing their own emotions and thoughts is tough enough.  and then there are the friends like me – the ones that are utilizing this time where we may not be able to connect in person to connect virtually.  why hold off on having those real conversations that typically take place on date three or five or ten?  there is plenty of time now to have the more substantial conversations and get to know someone beyond just the physical aspect.  i would argue that it is even a way to weed out people that you are not compatible with before wasting the time, energy and money it takes to get ready for a first date.


in hearing some of my friends talk about dating, there are lengthy lists of requirements many people have.  here’s an example…one of my girlfriends won’t look at you if you do not check off all of the following boxes: at least six feet tall, perfect smile, broad shoulders, abs, at least a bachelors degree, make at least 100k yearly, has a great relationship with family, loves to travel, open to relocating to her hometown, makes her laugh regularly, and i know i am definitely forgetting a couple.


now here’s the thing: some of you are reading this and don’t think this list is crazy at all; others are reading it and are asking yourself if the man described above even exists.  while this list is long in my personal opinion, i do not know that it is crazy (my list looks different but that is a different conversation).  i also know that this man does exist.  i have met more than one that falls into this category.  my issue is less with the list and more with my friend who made it.  do you know why?


i do not think she has taken the time to ask herself a very important question…




“do you meet all of the requirements that you require?”


is it reasonable or fair to require someone to check off a ton of boxes that you yourself do not?  some might say yes.  my answer is a hard no.


there is nothing i require from people in relationships that i am not bringing to the table.  that does not mean that i have low expectations, i just don’t have ones that are unrealistic or what i would even call ridiculous.  i cannot require that someone be willing to relocate if we do not live in the same place (when i don’t want to leave la again), have washboard abs (when i have always been a big girl) or have a picture perfect relationship with their family (when my relationship with my family has had its fair share of bumps and bruises).  i require someone that is a strong communicator, driven, a beautiful smile, trustworthy and is passionate about whatever they spend the bulk of their time doing (whether a degree is present or not).  do i have other things on my list? absolutely.  but the other things on that list are still things i also am bringing to the table.


now, while the examples i used above reference dating, i think this quote provides food for thought for a variety of relationships – ones with family, friends, people at the workplace, etc.  have you thought about whether or not you meet all of the requirements that you require?  if you are having trouble answering the question, write it down.  it will be super clear to you then.


last, but certainly not least, if you are free tonight at 7pm pst, tune into my instagram live.  there are some really great questions that i am looking forward to answering.  can’t wait to connect with you!



k. tap

basic banana bread

if you have been on social media at all during quarantine, you have probably noticed people baking all types of things from muffins to pies to garlic bread to banana bread.  there were plenty of recipes i was interested in trying many of them but realized there were so many recipes that required all types of things i would not typically have in my pantry or refrigerator.  that was when my search began.


i searched high and low for the most basic banana bread recipe – both so i would not have to make additional trips to the store for ingredients and so i could share the recipe with my students if it turned out well.


it definitely did!





eating on a dime had so many banana bread/muffin recipes to choose from.  i realized that i had enough ingredients to make two loaves.  however, i chose to bake one loaf at a time so i could taste loaf one (in the event something needed to be tweaked) before baking loaf two.  it turns out that the recipe did not need to be tweaked at all in terms of ingredients but i did adjust the amount of time recommended for baking from the original recipe.  the amount of time recommended was not enough for my particular oven but more on that in a moment.


here are the ingredients you need for a single loaf:

  • 3 or 4 ripe bananas (i used 3 large ripe bananas)
  • 1/3 cup of melted butter
  • 1 egg
  • 3/4 cup of sugar (you can add brown sugar if you prefer – i did not because i was too afraid to risk altering it)
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla
  • 1 teaspoon of baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon of salt
  • 1 1/2 cups of flour


now, for the directions:

  1. preheat oven to 350 degrees
  2. spray a 5×9 loaf pan with cooking spray
  3. peel and mash the bananas in a large bowl (if they are frozen, be sure to let them thaw first)
  4. once the bananas are mashed, add in the melted butter, egg, sugar, vanilla and salt – be sure to stir this well
  5. add in the baking soda and flour and stir well (fyi, i simply mixed everything by hand)
  6. pour ingredients into coated pan and bake
  7. bake for one hour (insert toothpick in the center of the loaf at the 50 minute mark to be see if it comes out clean and go from there – each of my loaves took roughly 72-75 minutes to bake so it is obviously based on your oven)
  8. after removing from oven, let cool on rack before removing from pan



in addition to how easy this was to make, i loved that it was sweet enough to cure a sweet tooth but not overly sweet so if you wanted to have a slice or two with coffee or tea in the morning for breakfast, you absolutely could.  even on day three, this banana bread is the gift that keeps on giving.  it has not dried out one bit!  for those of you who love the sweet and savory combo, slather on a bit of butter and thank me later.


if you try out this recipe, please let me know how you like it!



k. tap




thought of the week: one of my favorite feelings

earlier today, i was on facetime with my friend galina and we were talking about the highs and lows of being quarantined.  while our highs included still being employed and able to work from the safety of our own homes, carving out time for long bubble baths and our families being healthy, one of the lows for us both was that in person connectivity that just cannot be matched from behind a screen.


it was refreshing to have a candid conversation about everything that is going on in the world but what was more refreshing was to have candid conversations about everything else.  we might be in a pandemic but that does not mean we have to avoid conversations about work, friends, family, love and life as a whole.  today, i got to belly laugh while hours flew by and my bottle of sauvignon blanc disappeared more quickly than i would like to admit.  i thought about how fortunate i am to still have people and things to belly laugh with and about.  it reminded me of this quote my friend jessie posted a couple of days ago…




“i think one of my favorite feelings is laughing with someone and realizing half way through how much you enjoy them and their existence.”


amidst all of the bullshit going on, i want you to stop for just a moment and think about the people who make you laugh in a way where you feel it with your whole body.  think about the kind of people who can even make you laugh that way.  it is usually people who love and get you in ways most others don’t.  it makes you grateful to know them, love them and be loved by them.


today, i am grateful for the existence of so many people.  that does not stop just because we are quarantined.



k. tap

what i can’t live without while working from home

hey there! i know many of you are adjusting to working from home like i am while we are quarantined due to the shelter in place order. something i noticed were my eyes being super sore or having headaches far more frequently than what i am used to. this was even happening after getting enough rest and being properly hydrated. i was baffled.

flash forward to a couple of conversations with friends from college and i had my answer: i am not used to working behind a screen all day. as someone that works as a counselor, the bulk of my work is done face to face. i might spend an hour a day on emails and client notes but the bulk of my day is spent looking at faces and body language, not a computer screen. i hadn’t considered the impact of the blue light on my vision.

that’s where my glasses from the book club come in:

not only have the headaches and sore eyes gone away, but i am absolutely obsessed with how cute these are. they have a few different styles but i was aiming for something neutral, durable and stylish. and for just $40 from nordstrom, i couldn’t say no. plus, whenever i can rack up points to get a new nordstrom note, i do.

once we are back in the office, i will likely get a pair to keep at my desk. i have found myself using them even when blogging just to have a layer of protection/separation between my eyes and the screens i spend so much time looking at on a day to day basis.

i don’t know how i went so long without these! they surely would’ve come in handy while in grad school. but now, with me working from home, i couldn’t live without these.


k. tap

self(skin)care sunday

i typically use sundays as a day to recharge for my work week.  self care looks different for everyone, especially amidst a pandemic.  even still, i have been making an effort to pay closer attention to my skin.  while the drunk elephant products have been coming in handy for my evening routine, i am a huge fan of exfoliating on the reg.  as part of my birthday gift basket, my friend gracelyn gifted me this 3-in-1 mask, scrub and cleanser that is made with recharging greek yogurt and probiotics.




my favorite part is the combination of a cooling and tightening sensation once it has been on my skin for about 15 minutes.  it is gentle on the skin but there is this glow afterwards that not even covid-19 could stop.


it comes in a four ounce container and i would say i could easily get three uses when using it as a mask.  i am sure i could get more if i was simply using it as a scrub or a cleanser.   to find this “yes to superblueberries recharging yogurt and probiotics 3-in-1 mask, scrub and cleanser” – click here!  it is the perfect way to treat yourself.


what do your selfcare sundays look like?



k. tap