hey lovelies. it has been a minute since i have posted. if i am being honest, i have been feeling depleted for a number of reasons. i have been shitting bricks over the upcoming election, i am back at work full time (and seeing my students be in rough shape after being out of school for so long breaks my heart), the heat and air quality in california has been actual trash, more innocent black men are being killed at the hands of the police and it just seems like the amount of grief, loss and trauma has been immeasurable.
i was asked recently how i would describe 2020 in three words. my answer? tumultuous, unpredictable relentless.
even with those words ringing true for me, i have seen so many people pushing themselves to “be productive” – but what does that mean? i think there are plenty of ways to be productive. every person isn’t spending quarantine learning how to cook, sew, start a business or train to be a body builder. for some, being productive is carving out time to do things that bring you joy or that are good for you. maybe it is taking a long bath or having a dance party in your living room. maybe it is is a virtual happy hour or reading a book. maybe it is organizing a closet or starting a compost bin. maybe it is nothing at all.
that’s right, maybe it is nothing at all.
“note to self: rest is productive. rest is productive. rest is productive. rest is productive. rest is productive. rest is productive.” -wise words from one of my favorite twitter accounts
rest, is in fact, productive. in order to be able to tackle that lengthy to do list or to have energy to take care of ourselves & others, rest is vital. sometimes, that is exactly what we need. sometimes, the dishes, dusting and taking out the trash can wait. the world will not stop spinning if you turn off your alarm clock on your day off work.
how do you define productivity?
in my early 20s, i viewed self love as something that needed to be tackled all at one time. i wondered how so many people seemed to love every single piece of themselves. while going through my counseling psych program and living, learning and loving through my mid 20s, i realized that it is not only a lifelong process – it is something that needs to be done in steps.
have you ever made a to do list with so many action items on it that you just sat the list down and walked far away…to the other side of the room…and snuggled up on your couch/in your bed? that is what would happen when i was trying to figure out how to love myself more. the list seemed too daunting.
what ended up being helpful for me was tackling one thing at a time. i asked myself what truly made me happy. i did an inventory of the things and people in my life where i invested the bulk of my time. i realized anything that wasn’t reciprocal wasn’t healthy. my late 20s were filled with many difficult conversations and come to jesus moments but here is what i can say about 30: i have never felt better about the people in my life, the path i am on in my career, the things i have modified to prioritize my health and the ease i feel when saying no to things/people/situations that don’t suit me.
this quote sums up where i currently am perfectly:
“when i loved myself enough, i began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. this meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. my judgement called it disloyal. now i see it as self-loving.” -kim mcmillen
don’t allow you definition of loyalty to keep you from your healthiest and happiest you.
it is fitting that i am typing this post from an airbnb in indio, ca on national relaxation day. even with us being quarantined, it is still easy to go extended periods of time without carving out specific chunks for relaxation. not only have i been intentional about carving out time, i have been specific about who i spend said time with.
for me, relaxation is about being with people where our relationship is effortless, bubble baths, being in a beautiful space (sometimes, this is improved when i am not at home), enjoying good food and drinks, and waking up without an alarm clock.
what ways do you like to relax/unwind?
as someone that lives alone (and has for quite some time), i find myself thinking out loud quite often. i have noticed myself doing this at a higher frequency while quarantined, likely because i can’t do it over a bottle of wine with a friend on my couch.
whether you talk to yourself out loud the way that i do, jot down your thoughts and feelings, or simply store them all in your head, have you ever paid close attention to how you talk to yourself? what does your tone sound like? what does your body language look like? are you tough? are you kind? are you compassionate? are you mean? are you forgiving?
we’ve heard time and time again that we are our own toughest critics. that being said, i have caught myself talking to myself in a way that could be considered harsh or unforgiving. this quote by brene brown stood out to me and is often something i tell myself and my clients:
“talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” -brene brown
when i think of how i treat my inner circle, i meet each of them with love first, no matter the circumstance. i am just reminding myself to channel that same love and energy inward. i deserve it. so do you.
last week, i did a little staycation in san diego. it was exponentially improved by three things: great company, an unparalleled dining experience at herb & sea and my soak in the tub with saje natural wellness.
hillary knows me so well that she deep cleaned her tub in preparation for my arrival. while she finished working, i enjoyed a peach hard seltzer while listening to leon bridges and soaking in her tub. prior to my 30th birthday, i had never heard of saje natural wellness. leave it to hillary to show me the better things in life. she knows how much i love baths plus, both hilly and her roommate swear by saje.
let me tell you this: i literally felt like i was on a cloud. the bedtime ritual relaxing bath kit did just that. i just floated away. my muscles were so relaxed and the tension i often carry in my back just melted away. something i loved is that the kit came with enough bath salts for at least two (if not three) soaks. the body butter, oil and candle really rounded out the experience. i felt completely at ease in the tub but what i loved most was how that state of being continued even after. i absolutely felt a difference in how i slept that night, even on a couch – that should tell you something.
while i initially would’ve just categorized this as beauty, i realized that saje is much more than that. if you are truly into health and wellness, saje is for you because of their ability to reduce stress and create calm. if you love candles and diffusers for your home to create a certain ambiance, saje is for you. if you want a natural approach to beauty and wellness, look no further.
have you tried saje natural wellness? what are your favorite products?