33.

it is hard to know where to begin. so maybe we start with a photo of the finished product?

photo evidence of what it looks like when i relinquish control and let my friends show up for me – theo, i adore you.

thirty fucking three. saying 33 out loud as my age and not just pippen’s number (felecia and i just finished rewatching the last dance docuseries a couple of weeks ago) is wild. however, after how touch and go 31 was for me, i promised myself i wouldn’t just celebrate milestone birthdays. each year is worth celebrating. each day is truly a gift. theo knows this is my mindset. that’s part of why he called me out in january. well, it is more like he called me in.

theo knows i am a planner by nature. neither of us could remember the last birthday i celebrated without looping in the appropriate parties with less than 90 days notice. so imagine theo’s surprise when it was sunday, january 15th, and he had not received an invitation to anything. february 13th was just around the corner. instead of beating me up, he asked me about each area of my life. we talked about it all – family, friends, work, wellness, love life, etc. what we realized is that each area of my life seemed off balance – so much so that with the free moments i did have, i simply did not have the capacity to plan my birthday, track rsvps and show up enthusiastically. theo got quiet and said he had something to ask me. his next words were:

“kristin. i am going to propose an idea. your natural response/gut reaction will be to say no but i urge you to ‘say yes’ anyway.” i waited to what seemed like an eternity and then he said, “i want you to let me plan and host your birthday this year.”

y’all. i was FLOORED. you know the last time someone else planned a full fledged birthday party for me was? 1999. i was turning nine and mark + felecia rented out skate depot for me and all of my little fourth grade friends. every year since then, i have taken lead on this. i’ve had some great celebrations whether i kept it local in la, turned up in vegas, went wine tasting or a boozy brunch, the thing that each year had in common was spending time with people i love. even though i nearly had a stroke at the thought of letting someone else plan my birthday, i asked myself what i would tell my clients and i knew the answer: let the people who love you show up for you – there is power in relinquishing control.

i did exactly that. the rest? well, it was magic.

my mom, misu and i showed up to one of my favorite restaurants in the bay – meso mediterranean. when i arrived, not only was our private room beautifully decorated, so many people i loved from different chapters of my life were all in one space. there was no longer a need to wonder what someone they had heard many stories about was like in the flesh because they got to soak up that energy in real time.

friendships with start dates ranging from 2008 to 2016 and the thing they all have in common? being beautiful badasses.

with each table i approached, my heart bursted all over again. the love in the room was equal parts overwhelming and intoxicating.

you know when you meet someone and they instantly feel like family? that’s how it was with these two.

realizing that people had traveled up from la and down from sf/oakland/sacramento was so heartwarming.

when your old coworkers function more like sisters

theo had arranged a slideshow. it was amazing to see photos dating back from 2007 and was truly a testament to how we’ve watched each other grow up. we looked like babies because we were! being back at scu where it all began was such a full circle moment. being able to celebrate with people i met at scu whether it be in undergrad or in grad school while in reslife was incredible.

the og scu reslife crew – i married the two on the right this past fall!

seeing old and new friends laugh, toast with my mom and entertain misu while i was with each guest was the best.

my mom and many of my friends who are like her adopted children/nieces/nephews

and just when i thought i couldn’t be more grateful, theo directed our attention to the screen below. there was video after video of loved ones who couldn’t be there to celebrate but were there in spirit. many of the messages moved me to tears. oftentimes, people don’t get their flowers while they can still smell them. i was fortunate enough to get plenty (both literally and figuratively) this past weekend.

theo and evan are also the most attractive couple in the world. don’t @ me.

evan (theo’s partner) not only helped theo host but took photos of me with each of my guests and gifted me the most thoughtful card and gorgeous bouquet with sunflowers. they are on my nightstand as we speak.

while i was hesitant to be vulnerable and relinquish control, i am so glad i did. there are not enough words in the english language to thank you, theo. just know i love you so much and appreciate you yesterday, today and always.

i’d kiss you a thousand times over if i could

the icing on the cake? the party not ending until nearly 11pm and being able to laugh like this with my grad school bestie.

therapists can have fun, too!

misu being in bottle service was a life goal. it has now been fulfilled!

misu as security
misu soaking up the club vibes

kicking off 33 has highlighted the importance of practicing what i preach, remembering to pour into people who pour into me and always being grateful.

happy birthday kristin!

it truly was a happy birthday. i am looking forward to my 33rd trip around the sun.

xoxo,

k. tap

friday fun at flora farms

maybe it’s because i am sitting at an airport as i type this or maybe it’s because i am desperately in need of a stiff yet smooth lavender martini like the one served there but i knew that today, each of you needed to discover the magic that is flora farms.

hillary really knocked it out of the park with restaurant recommendations/reservations while we were in mexico a couple of months ago. each one had something different yet amazing to offer. and each one was good enough to return to on our future visits. what made flora farms special is that it is an organic farm to table restaurant and everything you’d ever need for a restorative weekend getaway could be found somewhere across then 25 acres without ever leaving the premises. do you want a delicious meal? a spa treatment? to adopt a dog? to do some shopping for home decor? to take a cooking or painting class?

look no further.

lavender martini – the best i’ve ever had – perfectly balanced + fresh and floral
rosemary ham and egg – it was hard to decide which lie to go with but i couldn’t say no to this flavor profile
fennel sausage – hilly and sarah thoroughly enjoyed this pie

not pictured were the most seasoned and crisp potatoes with hollandaise and a sweet and gooey cinnamon roll we all shared. TO DIE FOR.

hilly and me 🤍
hilly, sarah (our beautiful bride to be) and me – the grounds were absolutely breathtaking

after spending more time at flora farms, we know that on our next trip, we’d like to spend at least two days/nights there. i think it would make the most sense to start off as we usually do – in party mode for friday and saturday in the city, then shift over to this oasis on sunday to recover completely before heading back to california early the following week.

have you ever been to flora farms? if not, does this seem up your alley?

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: inspiration > comparison

february is my favorite month for many reasons. the first day of the month is misu’s birthday. i love winter. i have a deep appreciation for black history month. celebrating love is something i do regularly but valentine’s day gives me even more of a reason to do so. the three day weekend due to presidents’ day is never something i complain about. many of my favorite humans are born during the month of february, including anj (aka my twin), who is blogging alongside me at this very moment (you can check out her amazing blog here). lastly (but certainly not least), it is my birthday month.

i tend to get pretty reflective around my birthday and set intentions for the year that lies ahead. something that has continued to show up in sessions with my clients as of late is people choosing to measure their success based on how they are doing in comparison to others versus simply measuring whether they have grown in the last week/month/year. i took a step back to ask myself – is this an area of growth for me as well or is it something i’ve already mastered? what i determined was this: in my professional life, i do an exceptional job of only comparing me to me. i make a conscientious effort to continue learning new tools to share with my clients, i am unafraid of admitting when i do not know something and figure out the appropriate resources to circle back with and i can see distinct differences in the therapy i did back in 2016 as opposed to now. when it comes to my personal life, there is room for improvement. i think for many people my age, especially women, it is easy to look around at those closest to you and wonder if you are doing something wrong if your lives don’t look similar. this is especially true when it comes to marriage and children. while i think because of the way my analytical brain is set up, a little comparison may be present to some degree, the shift i noticed once approaching 30 was admiring those closest to me who had achieved something i hadn’t yet.

this quote seemed to hit the nail on the head.

“inspiration is infinitely better than comparison. let brilliant people motivate, not intimidate you.”

i am surrounded by a group of extraordinary humans. and rather than let jaclyn’s success in private practice as a licensed marriage and family therapist, melissa owning + remodeling her own home or anj’s domination of being a stay at home mom to a bright eyed little boy intimidate me, i find myself constantly being in awe. instead of being amazed silently, i often will inquire about the inner workings of how these exceptional humans are thriving in their lives. i have been encouraging my clients to do the same. inspiration is absolutely better than comparison.

do you find that you compare yourself to others or are you able to be inspired by the success others around you have?

xoxo,

k. tap

outpost – cabo urban farm to table

the nonstop rain over the last couple of weeks in the bay area has me craving the warmth of cabo, the beauty of these two girls and the dining experience we had at my new favorite restaurant – outpost.

hillary and sarah (our beautiful bride to be)

would it be a night in cabo without margaritas? of course, not.

chili margarita – it had the perfect amount of spice and was slightly smoky (just the way i like it)

the menu was extensive and because we wanted to try a little bit of everything, we decided to order a variety of small plates to share. there’s wasn’t a single thing we didn’t love!

homemade guacamole – it was creamy, flavorful and fresh
esquites – there was so much variety in texture and spices that it felt like my tastebuds were exploding
pastor shrimp tacos – the pastor marinade with the sweetness of the pineapple paired with the shrimp was to die for
asada steak tacos – with all of us being seafood lovers, we were floored that these were our favorite tacos of the night. the steak was so juicy, tender and perfectly prepared.
raw of the day (amazing cuts of hamachi were being served the day we went) – their seafood was next level and this melted in our mouths like butter
citrus ceviche – the mixture of fresh seafood and the bursts of grapefruit + tomato with the crunch of the onion? to die for.

not just the meal, but the service, was impeccable from start to finish. while all of us had been to cabo before, this was our first time at outpost. we all agreed that no future cabo trip would be complete without a dining experience at outpost.

yours truly

have you ever been to outpost? if so, what did you order? if you haven’t been yet, what is your go to restaurant in cabo?

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: work for it

i cannot believe that as i type this, it is the final day of 2022. if you’ve been following along for awhile, you know that the end of each calendar year is not a huge deal to me. i consider my new year to start when my birthday rolls around (on february 13th). even still, there was a theme i took note of this year.

i may have snagged this quote back in april but i circled back to it repeatedly throughout the year.

“good things come to those who work for it.” –the blondie shop

i stepped into 2022 ready to work. i was just getting my footing at a new job (and literally getting my footing while learning how to walk again). then, in march, i was contacted about a job opportunity at my alma mater and couldn’t say no. during the spring, i was moving at a mile a minute both at work and personally. by summer, i was trying to pack in as much as i could before my move back to the bay. since returning, i have been working with a team to revamp the way mental health is approached at this university and it has been equal parts rewarding and exhausting. all year, i have made an effort to prioritize my health. i am fortunate to have the guidance of an extraordinary wellness coach/trainer, angel from grit and gratitude. the one steady thing this year? busting my ass to make an impact and to get what i want. amidst the chaos, i am starting to see things come together.

while there was so much unexpected change this year, i am confident that i landed exactly where i needed to be. you will be seeing more of me this year – i made a pact with my twin about getting back into a blogging groove (and we’ve never made a promise to each other that we didn’t keep).

cheers to 2023! 🥂

xoxo,

k. tap