thought of the week: lucky number seven.

today marks seven years since the passing of connie jean garrison or as many of you have heard me affectionately call her, grammy.

grammy and me – 1991

since my grandmother left this earth, i have found that my body tends to have a visceral reaction to the month of may. as april comes to a close, i will begin to feel ill and by the time may hits, it often feels like too much to handle – her anniversary on the 7th, mother’s day the second sunday of the month and papa’s (my grandfather’s) birthday on the 17th. the trifecta really isn’t the vibe. this year was the very first one where that dread wasn’t present. i tried to think of why that could be and i realized it isn’t one thing in particular but a combination of many things.

i see my grandmother often – in a piece of art hanging in my bedroom that she gave to me, whenever i see rich hues of purple, in the white cross in misu’s coat, whenever i see 6:30 on the clock (her birthday was june 30th), when someone says i feel like home to them, whenever i host an event, when dmx comes on shuffle, whenever i bake something sweet for someone i love, when i get a great deal while shopping, when i walk through the rose garden on campus at scu, when dreaming (while asleep or awake) and honestly, at some point each and every single day. after turning 34, i realized that i see her most in myself with each passing year.

while i have always believed in spirits, i will say this has increased exponentially since grammy passed. in spring of 2021, i had a powerful reading with an extraordinary psychic/medium, cassidy rey. during the reading, grammy came through and she was quite vocal. the two messages that stood out the most to me during that reading were about my future children and my health. i have said forever that i know i am meant to be a mom, even if it means i do it alone. i have wondered what that journey might look like for me. my grandmother said that my children are currently with her and she would send them to me when i was ready. the irony? at that time, cassidy did not have children. currently? cassidy is expecting her first child and she will be raising him solo. in regards to my health, grammy told cassidy i was going to be getting incredibly sick and that the best thing i could do was increase my physical activity. she acknowledged seeing me putting in the work but said i needed to do more. i had just began training twice a week with grit and gratitude fitness in mid march. this reading was in may. in june, i increased my sessions to four times a month and added in a fifth day of activity (swimming for one hour). in august of 2021, i got one of the worst cases of covid i’ve ever heard of from anyone that lived to tell the tale. i was in the hospital for about five weeks, was on a ventilator for 17 days and had to learn how to do basic things like how to walk or even hold a fork again. when i woke up from my coma, the doctor expressed that with the tons of cases of covid he saw in icu, it wasn’t age, vaccination status, bmi or preexisting conditions that determined whether or not someone made it out – it was if they had been physically active for at least the last 90 days. grammy came to visit me while i was in my coma and told me i couldn’t come back here to visit her – that she would come see me. she kept repeating that over and over again. when i woke up and was told about how i nearly died, i immediately realized what she meant. i also couldn’t help but think of my reading with cassidy and how the messages she delivered urged me to double down on taking my health seriously and how angel (my trainer) helped facilitate that journey.

this year, i feel the healthiest and strongest i have in my adult life. i know wholeheartedly that i am currently the version of myself grammy would be most proud of because i am creating the life i have always wanted for myself without apology and without wavering. that is something she did at an early age and far before women were praised for creating their own happiness even if taking an alternate route to get there. when in doubt, i frequently ask myself: what would grammy do? as i’ve gotten older, i feel her with me as i am making pivotal decisions. there is nothing more peaceful than that. while i used to dread may, specifically the seventh, this seventh anniversary has proven to be the best one yet.

if you are looking to connect with a loved one or simply find out more about your path, definitely connect with cassidy rey. if you have questions, don’t hesitate to ask me. this post isn’t sponsored – it is just something that was on my heart to share on the anniversary of my favorite girl in the world.

xoxo,

k. tap

coachella 2024

every april, you can find me in the desert at coachella. since 2015, i have never missed a year and after each trip, i am reminded of why i go each year. you might be thinking that coachella was last month so this post might seem a bit overdue. that wouldn’t be entirely wrong. however, presale tickets going on sale today and my group already securing ours for 2025 made today the perfect day to do this post.

each year, i purchase tickets blind. while i typically don’t like surprises, i love so many different genres of music that it has never felt risky to buy tickets without knowing who will be performing. at the beginning of this year when the lineup was dropped, many people talked about how the lineup was disappointing. i didn’t feel that way at all. i think people have become a bit too accustomed to seeing people like beyoncé, ariana grande and lady gaga. while all three of those artists are ones i love and some i’ve paid a pretty penny to go see outside of coachella, i don’t go to coachella expecting everyone to fall into the top 40 category. if anything, some of my favorite artists of all time are ones i discovered at coachella. anj and i actually talked at length about this on episode seven of our podcast, twin time.

let’s get into this year:

there were six of us staying in the sweetest airbnb in palm springs. the big nonnegotiables are multiple bathrooms, central air, great wifi and a pool. anything else is truly an added bonus. i typically do all of the grocery/booze shopping ahead of time and get to the house first so everyone else can arrive and just let their hair down. we stayed up late thursday night catching up, having cocktails, playing cards and most importantly, discussing our lineup. there was definitely some overlap but luckily, none of us were afraid to see people on our own.

friday was phenomenal. i started off at main stage in vip and listened to sabrina carpenter. she has pipes! next, i met up with anthony to see brittany howard. many people know her from the alabama shakes. this was arguably the best set of the day. her connectivity with her fans? the rawness of her voice? how soulful she was? UNMATCHED. at that set, we met this adorable australian couple. they were in their 50s and were at the set as a duo but were at the festival with their three kids (26, 23 and 16). you could feel the love radiating from them. the husband wanted to know how many coachellas we each had been to and was shook when i said this was my eighth. we exchanged stories about favorite sets from last year and all of us couldn’t stop talking about metro boomin. i will never get over how music truly brings people together in such a special way.

brittany howard – no zoom needed when you’re this close

next, i rapped along to lil uzi, swayed to peso pluma and was entranced by lana del rey – especially when she brought out jon batiste and billie eilish. lana and billie doing “ocean eyes” together will be seared in my memory forever. an added bonus? running into heidi klum in vip and watching her be an absolute gem to any person that walked up to her and/or asked for a photo. and yes – she is just as stunning in person. the icing on the cake? getting to see one of my favorite students from webb. julia is a fellow music junkie.

julia + me

saturday was sensational. our group definitely got a bit of a later start to the day but somehow, i packed in nearly everyone i wanted to see. i started with jon batiste – i didn’t know what to love more: him solo, his duet with willow smith or his pink velvet suit. this was a set i saw on my own. just when i thought i couldn’t be more impressed, i heard to beat drop for “back that azz up” – because i remember him doing tiny desk with juvenile, i figured he was going to crank out an instrumental. then, juvie himself came out on stage. as someone born in 1990, there are few things as impactful as “back that azz up” – seeing it live at coachella with an aperol spritz in hand will be something i tell my grandchildren about.

aperol spritz? always.
art installation

i retired at main stage for the rest of the night. why would i need to move when i could see blur, no doubt and tyler the creator back to back to back? blur sounded amazing. no doubt still has it and had me DEEP in my feels. if they do a world tour, i will paying whatever it costs to be front and center. olivia rodrigo seemed pumped to guest appear with them. tyler did not disappoint. he also brought out so many guests – childish gambino, asap rocky, kali uchis and one of my all time favorites, charlie wilson. i felt like i had teleported to the living room of my adopted grandmother, miss bessie. i will be sure to include a video on my instagram.

anthony + me
no doubt
tay + me

sunday was so special. i started with carin leon and am now a fan. next, i frolicked over to the rose garden for a little relaxation and was able to enjoy victoria monet’s set from there. this girl is TALENTED. i also can’t pretend i didn’t dance on my own when she brought out sexyy red. next, i met up with tay’s group and moved way closer to the stage for tems. her voice is as smooth as butter in person. she is also DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. i don’t know that i’ve seen a more humble and grateful performer. wiz kid and justin beiber coming out? i think the crowd could have collectively fainted. next, we went over to see jhene aiko. while i’ve seen her do a song or two, this was my first time witnessing a full set. she was incredible. i was already sold before she brought out big sean, tyga, saweetie or omarion.

tems

we ended the night at doja cat – i knew she would kill it after seeing her at coachella in 2022 and at chase center here in sf in 2023. talk about a true performer – if you haven’t seen her, run – don’t walk!

with that being said, whether or not i was going in 2025 was a no brainer. my group secured tickets this morning and are already planning. was i exhausted afterwards? absolutely. my energy looked pretty similar to misu’s on the drive back.

misu post coachella 2024

i was recently asked when i would retire going to coachella. i think my answer is if i’m super pregnant or newly breastfeeding. otherwise, you can catch me in the desert as long as i am able bodied.

if you’ve gone to coachella, what was your favorite year or favorite performance? if you haven’t gone, what are you waiting for?

xoxo,

k. tap

flowers saratoga

even with me being a bit of a scrooge, many of my friends love the holidays. because of our scheduling, it is hard to get together in december to be merry. my dear friend nick insisted on taking melissa and i to this restaurant at the end of january as a way to spread a little holiday cheer. nick first discovered this gem through a work event some months prior and had not stopped raving about it since. after going, i certainly see why. if you find yourself in the bay area, dining at flowers saratoga is a must.

flowers saratoga

one of the best things about dining with nick and melissa is that we have pretty similar palettes. we ordered many things to share and then each had a single item to ourselves. to say we indulged would be a gross understatement. first up – cocktails!

hummingbird – truly a work of art and just as delicious as it is beautiful
cantarito – who doesn’t love mezcal with a little passionfruit?
snow storm – i’m a vodka girl and with strawberry and a little yuzu foam? sign me up.
blanco franco – blanco tequila with campari balanced with strawberry, bell pepper and lemon? more than one of these was ordered for our table

the cocktails were truly one of a kind. the added bonus was the glass of sparkling rosé our amazing server poured for each us while we waited for our first round of drinks. instead of actual dessert, we opted for espresso martinis and they did not disappoint. you could easily go to flowers and just sit at the bar and have an absolute blast. however on this particular night, we were there to enjoy the full experience for dinner and we did not hold back.

the beet garden
two bite tuna taco trio
lobster slider trio – tomato burrata – tuna tacos (making their second appearance)
prawn cigars
flowers wagyu mini slider trio + truffle parmesan fries
slow braised short rib with a truffle parsnip purée
diver scallops with a mascarpone polenta

the initial plan was to sample a bit of everything and each get a different entree to dive into. melissa and nick understood the assignment – melissa ordered the short rib and nick committed to the scallops. they both loved their choices. i had a bite of each and was in heaven. i was having ordering anxiety because i loved so many of the starters. i ended up ordering the wagyu sliders again as my entree so i could enjoy more than just one of them. i ended up taking a slider or two home because i had overcommitted during our two hour long appetizer/cocktail hour. clearly, this is not a bad problem to have.

while this place would be phenomenal for a date (not just because of the delightful food, unique cocktails and extraordinary service) because of its romantic feel, i’d recommend going with a group so you can truly try a bit of everything. i cannot wait to go back. special thanks to nick for treating melissa and i to a stellar dinner. if you call to make a reservation before visiting, be sure to ask if caitlyn is working – she truly provided the most outstanding service i’ve had at any restaurant in the bay area.

if you’ve been to flowers, what was your favorite thing on the menu?

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: thank you for loving each version of me

last week, my very first college roommate turned best friend, turned 35. marilena was someone i immediately clicked with and i felt so grateful to be randomly paired with someone perfectly suited for me. to be honest, when i think back to our hall freshman year, it was filled to the brim with people i feel so blessed to know and love. now that marilena is back in the bay, we did a weekend of celebrating and it was the best.

on friday, marilena, makensy, jackie and i circled back to glow to make candles and it was so much fun.

makensy’s tile setup

after glow, we went to dinner at zazil on santana row. the drink that we had to have more than one of was the pintado de rosa. there is something about the balance of the fresh strawberry puree with the citrus and tequila that is just next level.

pintado de rosa

on saturday, marilena’s family hosted a dinner party for about 15 of us with the most delicious traditional mexican food and great cocktails. while we ended up at a bar after dinner and makensy and i kept marilena and jared up for hours once returning to their home, my favorite part of the night was when all of the women were gathered in one room after dinner. sonya (marilena’s cousin) spoke about what marilena meant to her and how wonderful it is to go from having marilena be her flower girl to them being friends as adults. sonya opened up the floor for many of us to share. a theme i couldn’t help but notice as women across generations spoke about marilena is how she has encouraged growth in each of us – we are all better for knowing her. there were many points where i glanced across the room at marilena, makensy and jackie and was in disbelief that this september will mark SEVENTEEN years of us knowing and loving one another. when i think of who we each were when walking into santa clara’s campus as 17 and 18 year olds, it is truly wild. in taking time to think of the plethora of versions of each of us that have existed between then and now, it is heartwarming to know that the love and connection has just grown deeper. while it isn’t a guarantee, it is true for us and made me think of this quote i stumbled across back in january:

there is something so beautiful about having long-term friends that have witnessed multiple versions of you and loved you unconditionally through each version.

man. nothing compares to being loved unconditionally by people who have seen you at your highest of highs and lowest of lows. marilena has truly seen me through it all and has taught me how to not only show up for others, but how to show up for myself. that isn’t something i take for granted.

marilena + me at mumm napa

on sunday, marilena, makensy and i did a day trip to napa. we started at domaine carneros, swung over to madonna estate, all toasted to marilena and our 17 year anniversary at mumm and wrapped with dinner at rh yountville.

sparkling flight – domaine carneros
pinot noir flight – domaine carneros

the weekend was jam packed and i wouldn’t change a thing. i was reminded all weekend why these women are part of my chosen family.

tell me about someone who has loved you unconditionally through many versions of you!

xoxo,

k. tap

34.

each year, i select a word as my theme for my personal new year. after much reflection, going into 34, i chose my word: calm.

with every curveball thrown my way during 33, i focused on “controlling the controllables” (as my coach from grit and gratitude fitness frequently reminds me to do) and something i realized now more than ever is the importance of remaining calm no matter the intensity of the storm. it has served me incredibly well.

during 33, my word of the year was reciprocity. while i could only fit 10 photos on instagram (i was certain to include more here), everyone that helped me celebrate (whether it was in bottle service, at a boozy brunch, over a spectacular dinner or in napa) reiterated the importance of reciprocal relationships and aid in me being my calmest self.

on friday, the 9th, i was determined to dip back into bay area night life. dancing all night at nova in san jose followed by late night nachos at la vic’s brought me back to my early 20s. 10 out of 10 would recommend.

saturday, the 10th, was so life giving. we did a bottomless mimosa brunch at straits followed by espresso martinis at el jardin. for any of you that are new to my love languages, words of affirmation is pretty low on the list. i used to cringe when receiving them and have worked extensively on being better at just being open to being loved out loud. i wasn’t ready for when theo had each person go around and say their favorite thing about me. it definitely got emotional for many – i wouldn’t change a fucking thing.

sunday, the 11th, was so damn sweet. i did a solo coffee date with my twin, anj. next, we did a girly brunch in livermore followed by wine tasting at concannon. i wrapped the day with anj at her bff’s house (blythe is the best host!) and got to spend some time with my nephew.

monday, one of my oldest friends booked a reservation at my family’s favorite steakhouse without even knowing that info ahead of time. if you haven’t been to mastro’s, run – don’t walk. anthony knocked it out of the park.

i kicked off my actual birthday on tuesday, the 13th, with coffee with my fellow therapist and soul sister, jaclyn and her youngest son. it was the perfect start to the day. i ended with a late night happy hour at yard house with a coworker turned friend, wilson.

i wrapped up the celebrations on presidents’ day in napa with my fellow aquarian queen and a couple of our girls. we started off with brunch at rh yountville followed by wine tasting at mumm, madonna estate and domaine carneros. we wrapped the day at celadon for dinner. it was truly the perfect day.

few things compare to entering my big diesel year (for my fellow lakers fans) surrounded by being loved in my love languages (quality time and acts of service) and feeling more grounded than i ever have in my adult life.

what is your theme word for your current year of life? or perhaps, your next year of life?

thank you for all of the wonderful birthday wishes – i truly love you all.

xoxo,

k. tap