for years, i have selected a word as my personal theme. at 34, my word was calm. i think i nearly mastered it. for 35, i chose: surrender.
the art of surrender isn’t defeat, giving up or powerlessness. to surrender is choosing acceptance over resistance, appreciation over expectations and flexibility over foolishness.
as someone who has historically struggled with needing to be in control, i knew this wouldn’t be an easy feat. even still, i was also confident i could remain calm when things became turbulent. the universe has a funny way of testing us as my life more or less blew up at the start of february. luckily, i had a trip to the dominican republic with 20 of my favorite humans to planned. i highly recommend getting people together to celebrate your trips around the sun in big and small ways.
reuniting with the girls after check-in
when traveling with groups, i believe in a balance of planned fun and leisure time. i asked everyone to be at a cocktail party —> dinner one night and invited anyone interested on a boat for a sunday funday. any other time, i would send a broadcast via paperless post so people knew where to find me at the resort. it was honestly so easy and there is nothing i love more than having so many of my loved ones in one place. below are some photos of those in between moments.
for the cocktail party and dinner, i asked everyone to wear black and/or white (as most have that in their closet). this was the first time all of us had been in the same place and it was such a blast.
and for the sunday funday on the boat, to say a time was had would be a gross understatement. there are three things that are ALWAYS worth saying yes to: a day on the water in the sunshine, an open bar and the additional cost for a photographer.
while there were hiccups with our travel agent, the resort was top notch, the weather was beautiful, the people present to celebrate me were extraordinary and the love i felt is immeasurable. arriving to the dominican republic already having the mindset of surrendering made the trip exponentially more enjoyable. when i think of the rollercoaster that 35 has been so far, surrendering was the only way to not just make it, but enjoy it.
last year, one of my supervisors sent an email to our team offering up her condo in kauai as a way to offer some self-care to all the clinicians. instead of paying thousands of dollars for a week in paradise, we would simply pay the cleaning fee for the week. i was flabbergasted and knew i needed to take action immediately. i thought about who could best benefit from a week away and knew i needed to invite my twin, anj. we invited two of our girlfriends but as the youth say, life was lifin’ – they had to cancel. anj and i didn’t let that stop us from having a beautiful week in paradise with her son, enzo. getting to hawaii was far from easy for me with multiple delays and plane issues that required trekking through the airport to a new terminal all together before takeoff but once i landed, reunited with anj and enzo and saw that this was my backyard for the week, any travel exhaustion no longer mattered.
there is something extra magical about seeing a beautiful place through the eyes of a child. enzo is more knowledgeable about flowers and wildlife than almost anyone i know. even just the simplest walk to the pool would morph into a special moment for me.
we were fortunate to have a lengthy list of recommendations as multiple friends of ours have family in kauai and frequent the island. a beach that was a must was po’ipu. we made sure to stop at puka dogs to enjoy their unique hot dogs and fresh lemonade on the beach.
to say we were fortunate to have hanalei beach be in such close proximity to the condo is an understatement. that is where we spent the next few days.
outside of our time spent at the beach, we certainly had some favorite spots for a quick and fresh bite. hanalei poke was to die for. i also still dream about the shaved ice from wishing well. the flavor options are next level and the fact that there are organic options versus processed syrups is a game changer.
when we wanted a more upscale dinner, we traveled across the island to beach house restaurant. i’d highly suggest it and a reservation can be made on open table. tap on the link to read the full blog post about our dining experience. it was the one day we took the time to get dressed in something outside of swimwear.
there was something incredibly special about getting a tattoo to honor my grammy while there with one of my best friends who not only loved her (and was loved by her) dearly but walked alongside me through every stage of grieving her. i truly cannot thank twin enough for that. the libra club was the best tattoo shop i have ever stepped inside of. i immediately felt not just safe but comfortable. it felt like i was sitting in the living room one of my girlfriends. i am so grateful to hilly for recommending it.
for our final night on the island, we had dessert before dinner at jojo’s shaved ice (because wishing well was closed) before heading to the terrace restaurant and bar for dinner. enzo got to try shaved ice for the first time and i thoroughly enjoyed my calamari and poke nachos from the terrace.
while leaving the island proved to be chaotic (both because of sadness and because my preordered lyft/uber cancelled and the next ones i requested continued to cancel on me), i would go back in a heartbeat. kauai officially has a piece of my heart.
if you have an opportunity to travel with one of your best friends, the answer is yes. happy birthday, twin. i would go anywhere with you.
every april, you can find me in the desert at coachella. since 2015, i have never missed a year and after each trip, i am reminded of why i go each year. you might be thinking that coachella was last month so this post might seem a bit overdue. that wouldn’t be entirely wrong. however, presale tickets going on sale today and my group already securing ours for 2025 made today the perfect day to do this post.
each year, i purchase tickets blind. while i typically don’t like surprises, i love so many different genres of music that it has never felt risky to buy tickets without knowing who will be performing. at the beginning of this year when the lineup was dropped, many people talked about how the lineup was disappointing. i didn’t feel that way at all. i think people have become a bit too accustomed to seeing people like beyoncé, ariana grande and lady gaga. while all three of those artists are ones i love and some i’ve paid a pretty penny to go see outside of coachella, i don’t go to coachella expecting everyone to fall into the top 40 category. if anything, some of my favorite artists of all time are ones i discovered at coachella. anj and i actually talked at length about this on episode seven of our podcast, twin time.
let’s get into this year:
there were six of us staying in the sweetest airbnb in palm springs. the big nonnegotiables are multiple bathrooms, central air, great wifi and a pool. anything else is truly an added bonus. i typically do all of the grocery/booze shopping ahead of time and get to the house first so everyone else can arrive and just let their hair down. we stayed up late thursday night catching up, having cocktails, playing cards and most importantly, discussing our lineup. there was definitely some overlap but luckily, none of us were afraid to see people on our own.
friday was phenomenal. i started off at main stage in vip and listened to sabrina carpenter. she has pipes! next, i met up with anthony to see brittany howard. many people know her from the alabama shakes. this was arguably the best set of the day. her connectivity with her fans? the rawness of her voice? how soulful she was? UNMATCHED. at that set, we met this adorable australian couple. they were in their 50s and were at the set as a duo but were at the festival with their three kids (26, 23 and 16). you could feel the love radiating from them. the husband wanted to know how many coachellas we each had been to and was shook when i said this was my eighth. we exchanged stories about favorite sets from last year and all of us couldn’t stop talking about metro boomin. i will never get over how music truly brings people together in such a special way.
brittany howard – no zoom needed when you’re this close
next, i rapped along to lil uzi, swayed to peso pluma and was entranced by lana del rey – especially when she brought out jon batiste and billie eilish. lana and billie doing “ocean eyes” together will be seared in my memory forever. an added bonus? running into heidi klum in vip and watching her be an absolute gem to any person that walked up to her and/or asked for a photo. and yes – she is just as stunning in person. the icing on the cake? getting to see one of my favorite students from webb. julia is a fellow music junkie.
julia + me
saturday was sensational. our group definitely got a bit of a later start to the day but somehow, i packed in nearly everyone i wanted to see. i started with jon batiste – i didn’t know what to love more: him solo, his duet with willow smith or his pink velvet suit. this was a set i saw on my own. just when i thought i couldn’t be more impressed, i heard to beat drop for “back that azz up” – because i remember him doing tiny desk with juvenile, i figured he was going to crank out an instrumental. then, juvie himself came out on stage. as someone born in 1990, there are few things as impactful as “back that azz up” – seeing it live at coachella with an aperol spritz in hand will be something i tell my grandchildren about.
aperol spritz? always. art installation
i retired at main stage for the rest of the night. why would i need to move when i could see blur, no doubt and tyler the creator back to back to back? blur sounded amazing. no doubt still has it and had me DEEP in my feels. if they do a world tour, i will paying whatever it costs to be front and center. olivia rodrigo seemed pumped to guest appear with them. tyler did not disappoint. he also brought out so many guests – childish gambino, asap rocky, kali uchis and one of my all time favorites, charlie wilson. i felt like i had teleported to the living room of my adopted grandmother, miss bessie. i will be sure to include a video on my instagram.
anthony + me no doubt tay + me
sunday was so special. i started with carin leon and am now a fan. next, i frolicked over to the rose garden for a little relaxation and was able to enjoy victoria monet’s set from there. this girl is TALENTED. i also can’t pretend i didn’t dance on my own when she brought out sexyy red. next, i met up with tay’s group and moved way closer to the stage for tems. her voice is as smooth as butter in person. she is also DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. i don’t know that i’ve seen a more humble and grateful performer. wiz kid and justin beiber coming out? i think the crowd could have collectively fainted. next, we went over to see jhene aiko. while i’ve seen her do a song or two, this was my first time witnessing a full set. she was incredible. i was already sold before she brought out big sean, tyga, saweetie or omarion.
tems
we ended the night at doja cat – i knew she would kill it after seeing her at coachella in 2022 and at chase center here in sf in 2023. talk about a true performer – if you haven’t seen her, run – don’t walk!
with that being said, whether or not i was going in 2025 was a no brainer. my group secured tickets this morning and are already planning. was i exhausted afterwards? absolutely. my energy looked pretty similar to misu’s on the drive back.
misu post coachella 2024
i was recently asked when i would retire going to coachella. i think my answer is if i’m super pregnant or newly breastfeeding. otherwise, you can catch me in the desert as long as i am able bodied.
if you’ve gone to coachella, what was your favorite year or favorite performance? if you haven’t gone, what are you waiting for?
one of the many things that contributes to my house feeling like a home are candles. i’ve loved candles since i was a kid (likely because both of my parents are candle people as well). i love the cozy feeling a candle can create and how a scent can really change the vibe of a space. at the beginning of the year, my old supervisor wanted to commemorate our year working together and we talked about different activities we could do. when i mentioned loving candles, she brought up candle making. let me introduce you to: glow.
glow candle lounge
maybe you’ve heard of petroglyph? it’s a ceramic studio where you get to glaze a variety of pieces. glow is the sister studio. there is so much to love about glow. from the spacious and inviting studio to the extraordinary customer service to the variety of candles and scents that you get to choose from – there is truly something for everyone.
part of the studio glow associate wall of wax candles to create + pricing soy wax candles scents to choose from: floral, fresh, sweet + fruity, earthy
while i went with just one person in january, i hosted a birthday party for a dear friend here a couple of weeks ago. glow was able to comfortably accommodate a party of nine (i made a reservation to be safe since we were coming in on a saturday) and it was seamless. each of us were walked through a tutorial about how to build our candle and it was such a fun and relaxing experience.
i knew i was interested in a more layered look so i chose a candle mold and the appropriate number of tiles for said mold. i also selected some charms/decorations. i chose two champagne bottles to celebrate the end of the time with my previous boss. we had a lot to toast to so it seemed appropriate.
candle mold, wax, spackle and decorations breaking down the wax ready for the final step (pouring hot wax in to fill the spaces)this step is done by an associate
the following day, i swung by the studio to pick up our pieces. they turned out wonderfully!
final product!boss’s final product
when at glow a couple of weeks ago, some friends did soy wax candles and those were so cool as well. i not only loved the vessels, i was obsessed with the dried flowers added to each of their candles.
soy wax candles
glow is located in willow glen (in san jose, ca) on lincoln avenue. there are a ton of great restaurants on the street if you want to make a day out of it the way we did. glow also allows you to bring food in if you’d like to either bring something from home or pick up something from a nearby establishment. when i return this weekend, i will likely bring little snack plates for my girlfriends and i to tie us over until dinner.
i cannot recommend this place enough! and for those of you who are parents, it is definitely kid friendly.
if you choose to visit soon, don’t forget to let me know!
even though i am typically a huge fan of drinks that are more floral and/or fruity, i was so intrigued by one of the martinis at vanderpump à paris.
le dirty bleu
le dirty bleu is made with gin, blue cheese stuffed olives, rosemary and everything but the bagel spice. with me being the vodka girl that i am, i had them sub the gin for belvedere. it was absolutely delicious. if you are someone that loves a cocktail that is on the saltier side with a bit of a bite, le dirty bleu is for you.
“martinis. they make me feel civilized.” -ernest hemingway
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