barrel club brunch

last weekend, my mom and i did a little weekend getaway to the bay area to celebrate my 31st birthday. we both needed a change of scenery, santana row never disappoints with outdoor options and most importantly, quality time is my primary love language and the bulk of my friends are still in the bay. the weekend was incredibly restorative and i definitely kicked off my birthday the right way.

let me introduce you to the barrel club brunch at lb steak!

michelle, my mom and i started off with strawberry mimosa floats which included strawberry sorbet, sparkling wine, mint and fresh berries. none of us could have just one.

trying to figure out what to order was tough because everything sounded amazing. i tend to lean towards savory when at brunch but i wanted to try the vanilla bourbon barrel french toast SO BADLY. needless to say, i was relieved that my mom ordered it with a side of bacon so i could have one amazing bite. it did not disappoint. the lavender cream was next level.

michelle had the fancy toast and in my mind, a good avocado toast is the quintessential california brunch must have. the arugula salad paired perfectly with it.

and last, but certainly not least, the everything benedict. it is not secret that i love seafood and this everything benedict included so many of my favorites – dungeness crab cakes, poached eggs and hollandaise on an everything bagel paired with the most delicious tater tots.

our service with christian was impeccable. we ended up staying for drinks well after our food was finished before heading to our next reservation. our friend joe joined us towards the end and enjoyed an old fashioned. since lb steak has a full bar, the world is your oyster. ironically, none of us ordered steaks, yet we had the best experience. i will say this – if you are there for dinner, their ribeye is unreal.

if you find yourself in the bay area, make a reservation via open table at lb steak. happy saturday!

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: the theme for 31

first, i cannot believe i am 31. there was such a build up to turning 30 followed by an epic celebration in sin city. this year looked a lot different but i would argue it was equally (if not more) impactful. my mom and i flew for the first time in almost a year and celebrated my birthday in the bay area. since it was home for 10 years, so many of my favorite humans are here. it just made sense (to me) to do a series of outdoor dining dates in small groups. you will get a chance to read about an absolute must for brunch tomorrow.

anyway, each year, i pick a theme for the year centered around one word. in previous years, i have focused on themes like: hustle, vulnerability, unapologetic, etc. back in december, i was driving home from the bay and someone asked me what my plans were for my 31st birthday. while i hadn’t ironed out plans, i knew my theme for 31 ahead of time. 31 was going to be all about reciprocity.

merriam webster defines reciprocity as the quality or state of being reciprocal: mutual dependence, action, or influence. i realized that while i was (and still am) certainly blessed beyond measure when it comes to my friends, there were still some relationships where i was giving much more than i was receiving. being that i give so much of myself at work, i truly don’t have the capacity for anything that i am choosing outside of that to be one sided.

i made sure to make this weekend all about spending time with people i love dearly who love me back in ways that feel good to me. i was out of my hotel room for over 10 hours today but somehow feel rejuvenated. that’s the beauty of reciprocal relationships.

do you have reciprocal relationships in your life? what is your theme for this year of your life?

i am feeling excited about 31.

xoxo,

k. tap

aïya candle co.

because you deserve nice things…

have you ever cheered at the top of your lungs for someone you’d never met? that was me when hayet rida announced she was making her very own luxury candle. you all know how i feel about supporting small businesses, especially ones operated by black women. it was a no brainer. i immediately figured out how to preorder. before i even knew what the scent was, i knew i wanted to support her and my gut told me it would be a phenomenal scent. hayet embodies all things a rich auntie would vibe wise so i knew this candle wouldn’t disappoint. meet aïya candle co.

as soon as the box arrived, it was like christmas. i care about attention to detail and clearly, hayet does, too. from the moment i opened the box, it smelled like i walked through a rose garden in full bloom. from the colors to the handwritten thank you note to the white marble and gold snuffer, i was thoroughly impressed from start to finish. my only regret was not ordering two candles from then beginning. you can visit aïya candle co. here.

at the end of a work day, i am eager to create separation between work and relaxation. there are a few things i do as soon as i get home. i take off my shoes at the bottom of my staircase. i strip off whatever clothes i wore to the office. i immediately throw on an oversized shirt snd boxers or boy shorts. i grab one of three beverages (water, sparkling water, wine). and lastly, i light a candle. there is something about it that is both therapeutic and flips the work switch in my head off. do you have any rituals like this?

hayet graciously replied to a dm i sent her over the weekend regarding the next drop. she said while the release date is a secret, it is sooner than you think. pro tip: the best way to track it would be to follow both hayet and aïya candle co. on the gram. i even set alarms when she is launching different items since we are on different time zones (she is chicago based).

i have been drawn to hayet’s authenticity, her unapologetic evolution and her hustle since the first time i came across her instagram a couple of years ago. the older i get, the more particular i am about what i am taking in – that includes who i follow on social media. hayet is constantly dropping golden nuggets of wisdom and has a smile that can light up a room. with me working in mental health, i find myself drawn to people that don’t stray away from the complicated shit. hayet is a real one.

the candle being lit for 30 minutes has totally transformed my bedroom. hayet is working on a second scent. i not only want more of this candle but i know i will be ordering multiple when the second scent is released.

what is your favorite fragrance?

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: love withdrawals

i tend to be my most reflective self as my birthday draws near. with 31 being less than a week away, i’ve thought about what i want my theme or mantra for the year to be. each year, i choose a word. while i am fairly certain i have the word selected, i have been doing a lot of introspection. i have been paying close attention to how i treat myself during the good, the bad and the ugly moments. i had noticed a trend in those not so good moments – i wasn’t treating myself with kindness, grace or tenderness. i thought about where that stemmed from. this quote hit the nail on the head.



“there may have been a parent or adult in your life who withdrew love as a form of punishment. be aware of any way in which you withdraw love, presence, or connection from your own self. part of your healing is finding ways to do for yourself what another may not have been able to.” -vienna pharaon

listen. reading this gave me chills. then, i read it again. and again.

yes. i had multiple adults in my life growing up who loved me unconditionally. thank god for them. i also had a significant adult in my life who made it their job to withdraw love, affection and care as a form of punishment. i didn’t realize just how impactful that would be not just in my relationships with others, but in my relationship with myself. as an adult, i have definitely noticed instances where i called myself “holding myself accountable” when in reality, i was withdrawing love. even if i am holding myself accountable, the love i have for myself does not need to be lessened. i would even argue that when times are tough, i might need to rev up the love i typically show/give myself.

a huge part of my healing has been loving myself consistently. if you aren’t already on this train, hop on.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: love withdrawals

i tend to be my most reflective self as my birthday draws near. with 31 being less than a week away, i’ve thought about what i want my theme or mantra for the year to be. each year, i choose a word. while i am fairly certain i have the word selected, i have been doing a lot of introspection. i have been paying close attention to how i treat myself during the good, the bad and the ugly moments. i had noticed a trend in those not so good moments – i wasn’t treating myself with kindness, grace or tenderness. i thought about where that stemmed from. this quote hit the nail on the head.



“there may have been a parent or adult in your life who withdrew love as a form of punishment. be aware of any way in which you withdraw love, presence, or connection from your own self. part of your healing is finding ways to do for yourself what another may not have been able to.” -vienna pharaon

listen. reading this gave me chills. then, i read it again. and again.

yes. i had multiple adults in my life growing up who loved me unconditionally. thank god for them. i also had a significant adult in my life who made it their job to withdraw love, affection and care as a form of punishment. i didn’t realize just how impactful that would be not just in my relationships with others, but in my relationship with myself. as an adult, i have definitely noticed instances where i called myself “holding myself accountable” when in reality, i was withdrawing love. even if i am holding myself accountable, the love i have for myself does not need to be lessened. i would even argue that when times are tough, i might need to rev up the love i typically show/give myself.

a huge part of my healing has been loving myself consistently. if you aren’t already on this train, hop on.

xoxo,

k. tap