happy sunday and happy new year! i hope january is off to a smooth start for each of you. while i typically view my birthday as the start of my own personal new year, january has felt more significant in the last few years. in fact, today marks five years since i started this blog. we’ve covered everything from travel to grief to favorite recipes to fashion to my journey with covid and everything in between.
a few things that stand out for me as a blogger are:
1. eternal gratitude for the community i have been able to find online
2. an incredibly healthy creative outlet
3. the ability to see all that i’ve conquered in the last five years
in reading through some posts from the last few years, it feels incredibly important to give myself credit for making it to the other side, especially as an even better version of myself. i saw this quote some months back and had it in my favorites folder. i couldn’t think of a better way to kick off the new year than with this attitude:
“today i will show myself gratitude and appreciation for surviving the days that didn’t think i’d make it through.” #fleurdelisspeaks
how are you showing yourself gratitude and appreciation? you deserve both.
my favorite part of this holiday season was hosting some amazing women for a little holiday get together i called “christmas cocktails with kristin” – it was a blast! while typically not a christmas girlie, i wanted to create some festive spirit since i knew i’d be helping to care for my dad over thanksgiving week. it was the best decision i could have made. there is absolutely nothing wrong with creating your own joy.
my little tabletop tree
i found the cute little gift bags (filled with prizes for our game winners), the sign and the christmas candle at hobby lobby. while visiting anj in washington the week before, i was able to find the bulk of what i needed for the party for under $60! truly unreal.
mimosa bar with cranberry blood orange + white cranberry juice options; a holiday punch with cranberry, pineapple, vodka and club soda; red sangria with a cabernet and bourbon + white sangria with a sauvignon blanc and vodka
i love having options for beverages and know that people gravitate towards different things. i wanted the girls to be able to customize their mimosas – maybe you want a lot of juice or maybe you just want enough to change the color. with them being able to pour it themselves versus it being premixed, that was more than doable. a few of my friends get headaches from champagne/sparkling wine so i also did two sangrias and a spiked holiday punch. all were enjoyed!
hot cocoa bar with marshmallows, peppermint crunch, sprinkles, original whipped cream and peppermint whipped cream
for the girls looking for a cozy beverage or a little something sweet, the hot chocolate bar was a hit. while i prefer my hot chocolate with milk, i used this hot water dispenser instead because lactose is not everyone’s friend. the girls being able to add as little or as much cocoa as they wanted was definitely the move.
the girlies 🎄🥂
i wanted everyone to be comfortable so we all wore our favorite christmas pajamas. my little sleep shirt is from asos. while we couldn’t all fit on the photo wall at once, it definitely worked in pairs/trios. reens covered the wall in a festive wrapping paper the night before the party (along with making my place look more festive as a whole).
your therapists need to have fun, too! bagel bar, charcuterie boards and red velvet cupcakes
i like the idea of being able to graze, especially when not having formal place settings for each person. this allowed for just that.
christmas cookie decorating
the cookie decorating contest was hilarious and made me feel like a little kid again. i bought this set at target that included all pre baked cookies along with icing pens and sprinkles. we may or may not have borrowed some toppings from the hot chocolate bar for a little extra flair.
more than anything, i just loved having so many of my favorite women in one place. the holidays can be so tough, especially for those of us who have experienced a significant amount of grief and loss. this felt like a chance to make the holiday season feel more joyous and to do it on my own terms. 10 out of 10 would recommend if you are looking to reclaim the holiday season.
what was your favorite part about the holiday season? i hope that there was at least one part that made you smile like this.
happy sunday! i hope each of you is starting today off in a way that brings you peace. i am typing this from an incredibly comfortable bed with a gorgeous view of the city’s skyline and couldn’t be happier. i was desperately in need of a change of scenery and having a weekend where the only person i am responsible for is me (special shout out to my friend michael for watching misu this weekend!).
if you’ve been following along for awhile, you know that accountability isn’t a new topic (i would recommend watching some of my instagram lives to truly hear more thoughts on this). as both a therapist and just a person, i frequently notice the ways people skirt around taking accountability for harm caused by vocalizing their intentions. here are some examples:
1. “i didn’t tell you the whole story because i didn’t think you could handle it. i didn’t want to cause you additional stress or panic.” while the intention may have been to not cause stress or panic, you have now caused anger, hurt, frustration and are contributing to this person’s ability to trust others.
2. “i didn’t mean to offend you when commenting on how much better you look – i thought i was just complimenting you.” while compliments are often well intentioned, in stating how much better someone looks, you are implying how unattractive you may have found them before. you also may not know why or how this person is losing weight – maybe it is due to stress, illness, etc.
3. “i gave this person another chance because they said they’ve changed.” yes – i do believe in a person’s ability to change yet at the same time, the number of family members, friends and clients who end up even more hurt than before after handing out these extra chances like candy on halloween then being disappointed when the person they gave a second chance to NEVER showed a true commitment to change with ACTIONS is fucking wild. while your intentions might have been to be kind, to keep your family together, to exhibit patience, etc. if you are hurting yourself more in the end, you have to own your part in that.
these are just a few examples of why i chose this thought of the week:
i can only hold you accountable for your actions, no matter how good your intentions may be. -sonya teclai
do intentions matter? absolutely. are they the only thing that matter? absolutely not. your actions matter. the impact of your intentions matter.
what have your experiences been with both accountability and intentionality?
hey! i hope each of you enjoyed your thanksgiving week (if you celebrate) and spent time with those you love most eating something absolutely delightful. thanksgiving looked different for me this year for a variety of reasons but primarily because i have been at the hospital around the clock with my dad, who underwent a stem cell transplant (expect a full rundown in the coming weeks about all of the many layers). one of the limitations is not being able to have any food that is not prepared at the hospital or by me in our hotel suite due to his nonexistent immune system. with him barely having tastebuds and being limited on what sits well on his stomach, there wasn’t the traditional thanksgiving dinner (filled with many of my favorite soul food dishes). maybe it is because i am craving a great meal out, missing my friends and feeling grateful to the many members of my chosen family that offered to have a thanksgiving spread delivered (before they knew about the restrictions), i found myself thinking about this phenomenal italian restaurant alan and i went to last month. let me introduce you to: cento.
alan had been RAVING about cento for months. we had been trying to go together but life was a little too chaotic AND for awhile, they were closed on mondays so we struggled a bit. let me tell you this – the wait was absolutely worth it. there was not a single thing we consumed that i would not give at least a 9.5 out of 10. let me walk you through our dining experience:
hamachi crudo endive caesar
the hamachi? melted like literal butter. the endive caesar? simple and flavor packed, especially with the hint of tarragon. one of the reasons alan is in my top five favorite people to dine with is because we have such similar palettes. it is an added bonus that the conversation is consistently captivating. that being said, we frequently get to sample more of the menu because we can share various dishes (like the two above). for our main courses, we both committed to pasta dishes.
spicy pomodoro bolognese
alan couldn’t get enough of his spicy pomodoro. he was surprised i didn’t order it because of my deep love for all things spicy however, i just couldn’t pass up a ricotta gnocchi with a 28-month parmesan and cream. i had zero regrets. because their menu is constantly changing, alan’s pasta above is not currently available however, my bolognese is so run to get your bowl!
we were between a few different options for dessert. one of the only areas where alan and i differ is there is no such thing as too much chocolate for him. that certainly is not the case for me. one that spoke to us both was the date cake and our server highly recommended it.
date cake a very belated birthday celebration 🤎
the date cake is something i literally dream about. who doesn’t love caramel, pecan and crème fraiche ice cream? alan had been to cento at least a dozen times and had never tried it. from now on, it is a MUST.
with me being a planner, there were bonus points given for being able to make a reservation, valet parking and being seated upon arrival (even though alan hadn’t arrived yet). i am already anxiously awaiting my next visit and cannot speak highly enough about the quality of service, the ambiance (would be a great space for a private event), the attention to detail with every dish and how heavenly the entire meal was from start to finish. if you find yourself in la, make a reservation at cento.
even though i am typically a huge fan of drinks that are more floral and/or fruity, i was so intrigued by one of the martinis at vanderpump à paris.
le dirty bleu
le dirty bleu is made with gin, blue cheese stuffed olives, rosemary and everything but the bagel spice. with me being the vodka girl that i am, i had them sub the gin for belvedere. it was absolutely delicious. if you are someone that loves a cocktail that is on the saltier side with a bit of a bite, le dirty bleu is for you.
“martinis. they make me feel civilized.” -ernest hemingway
keep up with k.tap 