Tag: authenticity

thought of the week: find people you don’t have to pretend with

the last few weeks have been a complete whirlwind! from kicking off a new school year to attending four weddings in four weeks (two in the same weekend in different states) to simply figuring out how to have a life both here in the bay and in la. throughout it all, something that has stood out to me is the power of having a strong support system.

there are parts of my job that can be exhausting – sometimes it can be due to what is shared in session by a client and other times, it is simply due to the late hours i work being a therapist on a college campus. that being said, the older i’ve gotten, the more i’ve noticed myself prioritizing the energy that exists within my circles. it directly impacts both who i am as a person and who i am in session with my clients. i refuse to be exhausted by who i choose to spend my time with outside of work. the last five weeks have been filled with people who not only fill my tank, but people i can be unapologetically authentic with. at multiple points this past weekend, this was reiterated.

i came across this quote many moons ago however with today being one of my closest friend’s birthdays, it felt like the perfect time to share with each of you.

“in the next decade may you find people you don’t have to pretend with.” -malanda

getting to celebrate nick last night with some of his nearest and dearest was incredibly special. happy birthday, nick. thank you for being someone i never have to pretend with.

xoxo,

k.tap

more than enough

after grad school, i told myself i would get back into reading for pleasure. when there aren’t thousands of pages to plow through every 10 weeks, it is funny how you have the capacity to consume books for fun. during the pandemic, i asked my fellow bookworms for recommendations and this one came up over and over again. a couple of weeks ago, while in puerto rico for spring break, i finished a book by elaine welteroth that i am certain i will read again and again – more than enough.

first, this was an incredibly easy read. it felt like elaine and i were either exchanging stories at a boozy brunch or at a sleepover with girlfriends where you share your deepest and darkest secrets, hold on to the magical nuggets of wisdom that are dropped and laugh until your sides hurt. as a fellow black woman who was raised in california (and even did a 10 year stint in the bay), there was so much familiarity. elaine covers everything from imposter syndrome to being the only person in a space that was not created with you in consideration to colorism within the black community to navigating heartbreak to remembering not to shrink ourselves in an effort to make those around me more comfortable with their shortcomings.

there truly is something for everyone but a little something extra for those of us identifying as millennials, women, black, biracial or simply someone trying to shatter both ceilings and stereotypes. my top takeaways from the book were:

  1. own every piece of yourself unapologetically
  2. if you believe a space is for you, others will believe it is, too
  3. the dopest shit happens outside of your comfort zone
  4. there is a fine line between being dedicated to your work and your work being detrimental to your health – know the difference
  5. don’t be afraid to let your loved ones show up for you in times of need

something tells me that my upcoming thought of the week will be courtesy of elaine welteroth. i can’t wait to see what she does next.

xoxo,

k. tap