Tag: thought of the week

thought of the week: your own lane

i am less than one week away from starting to work with my wellness coach/trainer. someone asked me how i was feeling about it today and i answered honestly – i was terrified. i know that i am in the right place at the right time PLUS i truly believe this is the right person to facilitate this journey with me. even still, there was this fear.

when thinking about where that fear stemmed from, i realized that on some level, i was comparing myself to others. whether it was people i knew personally or what i was ingesting through media, i had temporarily lost sight of what i truly needed to be focused on. the only person i need to be in competition with is myself – as long as i am better than i was the day before, that is more than enough. it made me think of this quote i ran across last month:

“when you’re in your own lane, there’s no traffic.” -ava duvernay

i couldn’t have said it better.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: the theme for 31

first, i cannot believe i am 31. there was such a build up to turning 30 followed by an epic celebration in sin city. this year looked a lot different but i would argue it was equally (if not more) impactful. my mom and i flew for the first time in almost a year and celebrated my birthday in the bay area. since it was home for 10 years, so many of my favorite humans are here. it just made sense (to me) to do a series of outdoor dining dates in small groups. you will get a chance to read about an absolute must for brunch tomorrow.

anyway, each year, i pick a theme for the year centered around one word. in previous years, i have focused on themes like: hustle, vulnerability, unapologetic, etc. back in december, i was driving home from the bay and someone asked me what my plans were for my 31st birthday. while i hadn’t ironed out plans, i knew my theme for 31 ahead of time. 31 was going to be all about reciprocity.

merriam webster defines reciprocity as the quality or state of being reciprocal: mutual dependence, action, or influence. i realized that while i was (and still am) certainly blessed beyond measure when it comes to my friends, there were still some relationships where i was giving much more than i was receiving. being that i give so much of myself at work, i truly don’t have the capacity for anything that i am choosing outside of that to be one sided.

i made sure to make this weekend all about spending time with people i love dearly who love me back in ways that feel good to me. i was out of my hotel room for over 10 hours today but somehow feel rejuvenated. that’s the beauty of reciprocal relationships.

do you have reciprocal relationships in your life? what is your theme for this year of your life?

i am feeling excited about 31.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: love withdrawals

i tend to be my most reflective self as my birthday draws near. with 31 being less than a week away, i’ve thought about what i want my theme or mantra for the year to be. each year, i choose a word. while i am fairly certain i have the word selected, i have been doing a lot of introspection. i have been paying close attention to how i treat myself during the good, the bad and the ugly moments. i had noticed a trend in those not so good moments – i wasn’t treating myself with kindness, grace or tenderness. i thought about where that stemmed from. this quote hit the nail on the head.



“there may have been a parent or adult in your life who withdrew love as a form of punishment. be aware of any way in which you withdraw love, presence, or connection from your own self. part of your healing is finding ways to do for yourself what another may not have been able to.” -vienna pharaon

listen. reading this gave me chills. then, i read it again. and again.

yes. i had multiple adults in my life growing up who loved me unconditionally. thank god for them. i also had a significant adult in my life who made it their job to withdraw love, affection and care as a form of punishment. i didn’t realize just how impactful that would be not just in my relationships with others, but in my relationship with myself. as an adult, i have definitely noticed instances where i called myself “holding myself accountable” when in reality, i was withdrawing love. even if i am holding myself accountable, the love i have for myself does not need to be lessened. i would even argue that when times are tough, i might need to rev up the love i typically show/give myself.

a huge part of my healing has been loving myself consistently. if you aren’t already on this train, hop on.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: love withdrawals

i tend to be my most reflective self as my birthday draws near. with 31 being less than a week away, i’ve thought about what i want my theme or mantra for the year to be. each year, i choose a word. while i am fairly certain i have the word selected, i have been doing a lot of introspection. i have been paying close attention to how i treat myself during the good, the bad and the ugly moments. i had noticed a trend in those not so good moments – i wasn’t treating myself with kindness, grace or tenderness. i thought about where that stemmed from. this quote hit the nail on the head.



“there may have been a parent or adult in your life who withdrew love as a form of punishment. be aware of any way in which you withdraw love, presence, or connection from your own self. part of your healing is finding ways to do for yourself what another may not have been able to.” -vienna pharaon

listen. reading this gave me chills. then, i read it again. and again.

yes. i had multiple adults in my life growing up who loved me unconditionally. thank god for them. i also had a significant adult in my life who made it their job to withdraw love, affection and care as a form of punishment. i didn’t realize just how impactful that would be not just in my relationships with others, but in my relationship with myself. as an adult, i have definitely noticed instances where i called myself “holding myself accountable” when in reality, i was withdrawing love. even if i am holding myself accountable, the love i have for myself does not need to be lessened. i would even argue that when times are tough, i might need to rev up the love i typically show/give myself.

a huge part of my healing has been loving myself consistently. if you aren’t already on this train, hop on.

xoxo,

k. tap