the terrible twos

even though i am blogging from barcelona and it is after midnight here, in the states, it is the middle of the day on may 7th.  today marks two years since the death of my grandmother, or grammy as i called her.

 

something i have heard time and time again about grief is that it gets better with time.  i do not know how accurate of a statement that is.  i called this post “the terrible twos” because while the year mark was sad, in a lot of ways, i think i was still in a state of shock.  as a result, my feelings in relation to grief were foggy at best. before i started this blog, i did a post on instagram at the year mark.  you can read that post here:

 

 

i am in a much clearer headspace at this two year mark and i am feeling things much more deeply.  i am still trying to determine if that is a good or bad thing. perhaps i will report more on that during my next instagram live.

 

in an effort to not be a blubbering mess is barcelona, i wanted to share a few life lessons grammy taught me early on that i carry with me every single day – both as a therapist and in each of my personal relationships.

 

first, do not just tell the people you love most that you love them – show them.  show them in a way where they will never question how strong your love is.

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*grammy with my godson (her only great grandchild in january of 2014 at my brother’s going away party)

 

second, tiny humans deserve to be heard, too.  i can not recall a moment where i felt anything aside from heard and understood by my grandmother.

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*grammy and me – she is letting place my little african headpiece from my school play on her head (early 90s – i’d guess ’93 or ’94)

 

third, always say ‘yes’ to adventure.  not only did she go on countless trips with my papa, she prioritized travel with the rest of her family (me included) and her girlfriends as well. i feel like i am doing her proud by being in spain for the first time for a great friend’s wedding.

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*grammy and papa – based on wardrobe, i would guess sometime in the early 80s

 

lastly, grammy taught me the importance of building an inner circle of amazing individuals.  when i look at my grammy’s best friends, all of them bring something unique to the table.  now, the things that all of them have in common are: unyielding loyalty, fearlessness around calling one another out when need be and the ability to share a good laugh no matter the circumstances.

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*grammy and auntie miki (her name is wanda but somehow in my youth, i started calling her this and it just stuck) in the late 70s

 

in looking at the last photo, i would also like to take a moment to thank grammy for my high cheekbones.  i miss her smile, her laugh and her advice.

 

what life lessons have you learned from your grandmother or another loved on who has passed?

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

9 thoughts on “the terrible twos

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