in my work with teen girls, there is a ton of talk about perception, pleasing others, fitting in and how to be the most impressive version of themselves.  i find that in addition to listening, i am often debunking myths around the aforementioned.  i also find that i am frequently asking the girls to tell me five things about themselves that they love.  the answers are often similar – the five things they list are usually associated with what they do as opposed to who they are.

when i point that out and say the question out loud again, i am met with everything from blank stares to loud sighs to tears and everything in between.  i remind them that i already know about what they do as i have access to their grades and help each of them build a resumé.  i am interested on what is on the inside.

the gist of what i want them to know is this:

“your value stays constant whether it is seen or not.” -seeker

between being teens looking for validation from their parents, their friends and even strangers on social media, i think it is easy to lose sight of not only their value but what determines their value in the first place.

on a phone call with my friend last night, i told her about this question and the importance of asking that even when we are adults.  what are five things about yourself that you love?  i would love for you to list them below.

remember, you value is not determined by what you do or who sees it, it is determined by who you are even when no one is watching.

xoxo,

k. tap