Author: keep up with k.tap

national relaxation day

it is fitting that i am typing this post from an airbnb in indio, ca on national relaxation day. even with us being quarantined, it is still easy to go extended periods of time without carving out specific chunks for relaxation. not only have i been intentional about carving out time, i have been specific about who i spend said time with.

for me, relaxation is about being with people where our relationship is effortless, bubble baths, being in a beautiful space (sometimes, this is improved when i am not at home), enjoying good food and drinks, and waking up without an alarm clock.

what ways do you like to relax/unwind?

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: talk to yourself

as someone that lives alone (and has for quite some time), i find myself thinking out loud quite often. i have noticed myself doing this at a higher frequency while quarantined, likely because i can’t do it over a bottle of wine with a friend on my couch.

whether you talk to yourself out loud the way that i do, jot down your thoughts and feelings, or simply store them all in your head, have you ever paid close attention to how you talk to yourself? what does your tone sound like? what does your body language look like? are you tough? are you kind? are you compassionate? are you mean? are you forgiving?

we’ve heard time and time again that we are our own toughest critics. that being said, i have caught myself talking to myself in a way that could be considered harsh or unforgiving. this quote by brene brown stood out to me and is often something i tell myself and my clients:

“talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” -brene brown

when i think of how i treat my inner circle, i meet each of them with love first, no matter the circumstance. i am just reminding myself to channel that same love and energy inward. i deserve it. so do you.

xoxo,

k. tap

saje natural wellness

last week, i did a little staycation in san diego.  it was exponentially improved by three things: great company, an unparalleled dining experience at herb & sea and my soak in the tub with saje natural wellness.

 

hillary knows me so well that she deep cleaned her tub in preparation for my arrival.  while she finished working, i enjoyed a peach hard seltzer while listening to leon bridges and soaking in her tub.  prior to my 30th birthday, i had never heard of saje natural wellness.  leave it to hillary to show me the better things in life.  she knows how much i love baths plus, both hilly and her roommate swear by saje.

 

let me tell you this: i literally felt like i was on a cloud.  the bedtime ritual relaxing bath kit did just that.  i just floated away.  my muscles were so relaxed and the tension i often carry in my back just melted away.  something i loved is that the kit came with enough bath salts for at least two (if not three) soaks.  the body butter, oil and candle really rounded out the experience.  i felt completely at ease in the tub but what i loved most was how that state of being continued even after.  i absolutely felt a difference in how i slept that night, even on a couch – that should tell you something.

 

 

while i initially would’ve just categorized this as beauty, i realized that saje is much more than that.  if you are truly into health and wellness, saje is for you because of their ability to reduce stress and create calm.  if you love candles and diffusers for your home to create a certain ambiance, saje is for you.  if you want a natural approach to beauty and wellness, look no further.

 

have you tried saje natural wellness?  what are your favorite products?

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

 

herb & sea

to say i love san diego would be a gross understatement.  it is the perfect escape when wanting to get out of la but not be too far from home.  it helps that one of my closest friends, hillary, moved here a few years back.  we make a conscious effort to visit one another.  when looking for a little staycation during a time when i would typically be catching a flight somewhere tropical, a quick drive to san diego seemed like the perfect solution.

 

when choosing where to go to dinner, the choice was easy.  we love to support small businesses, we love seafood and a dear friend of ours, sara, is both the executive chef and partner at a restaurant in encinitas.  last night, i finally got to experience herb & sea.

 

 

founded by brian malarkey, who you might recognize from top chef, herb & sea is truly a gem.  even amidst the pandemic, they have found a way to create an extraordinary dining experience.  rather than each get a starter and an entree, we had sara suggest some of her favorites.  because this was not hillary’s first rodeo, she had an item or two that she knew we should tack on as well.

 

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it was unreal.

 

we started with drinks (we got the mezcal and flowers and even as someone that typically gravitates towards vodka, it was to die for), burrata, oysters, hamachi crudo, smoked salmon dip and shrimp toast.  there was nothing i would not order again but i will say this – i could have ordered 10 of the hamachi crudo plates and still wanted more. it was that good.

 

 

 

for our main courses, we went with the local field greens, linguini and crab, peaches and prosciutto pizza and the crispy boardwalk potatoes (which aren’t pictured due to us being in a trance from all of the goodness on our table).

 

 

 

and for dessert, there was a special cheesecake with tropical fruit and berries and for you chocolate lovers, a lava cake.

 

i really cannot say enough great things about this restaurant, the drinks, the food and the quality of service.  brian happened to be there while we were dining and stopped by our table to say hello, ask how our dining experience was and wish us well.  there is something magical about restaurants like this one where you can tell that every single person who works there genuinely loves people, food and what they do.

 

if you find yourself in the san diego area, stop by herb & sea. you will be happy you did.

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

 

 

thought of the week: you are allowed to change the price

in the world we live in, there is this unspoken idea that we are supposed to be constantly dialed in.  right now, i am typing this from my macbook that is linked to my imessages with multiple windows open across my four gmail accounts.  when did this become the norm even during summer vacation?  anyone else in the same boat?

 

even with me being dialed in pretty regularly, something i have been working on is accessibility.  it is one thing to have all of these windows on my screen open – it is an entirely different thing to feel an immense pressure to respond to every text, phone call, email, dm, etc.  i am someone that has to be dialed in for work from august to may.  we have been instructed to keep our cell phones on our desks in plain sight so we can see the alert if the school goes on lockdown (what a world we live in).  this is in addition to me working in mental health and getting more texts than i could ever count about crises that need to be addressed immediately.  when i am at work, this does not bother me because i knew that this simply came along with the job.  but it is outside of work that started to chip away at me.

 

there did not seem to be boundaries around my accessibility.  it is like i had made this unconscious decision to be equally accessible for anyone at any given point in time, no matter the reason for contact or my mental/emotional state of being at that moment.  something had to give.  this quote summed it up perfectly.

 

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“you are allowed to change the price of what it costs to access you.”

 

i cannot tell you how much i needed to see this in print or how much it resonated with me.  there were people that had access to me that did not deserve it.  there were people who had access to me that was too easy considering the lack of reciprocity in our relationship.  there were people that accessed me with heavy content without first checking to see if i had the capacity to hold it.  but here’s the thing – i was, am and will be in complete control over who has access to me along with what it costs to access me.  while the cost may not be monetary, it certainly includes things like reciprocity, compassion and loyalty, amongst other things.

 

have you stopped to think about what it costs to access you?  do you need to change the price or is it fine as is?

 

xoxo,

k. tap