Author: keep up with k.tap

french toast friday

okay, guys.  i am honestly super hyped about this post.  when i cook brunch for guests, i tend to take a more soul food/southern approach – think fried chicken, country fried potatoes, scrambled eggs with melted cheese, biscuits with honey butter and your body weight in mimosas (with a variety of juices to choose from).  while i have never had a single complaint about the aforementioned, it takes forever and is a total bitch to prep and clean up.

 

that being said, there are three brunch items that are more simple that i have always been hesitant to tackle because a family member already does them perfectly.  the best grits belong to papa – a real life black cowboy with three horses in los angeles (i know, that probably deserves its own blog post).  now, omelettes and french toast belong to my dad – they both come out perfect every single time.  i had never tried to cook any of them – it is like feared messing them up, especially because dinner is my favorite meal to prepare.

 

well, i finally got over my fear and made truly phenomenal french toast.  i essentially merged a variety of recipes and threw my own spin on it based on what i had in my fridge/pantry.

 

here are the ingredients you need:

 

  • 4 eggs
  • 1/4 cup of vanilla soy milk (any milk would work but i only use milk for baking that calls for it so the vanilla silk soy milk was what i had on hand and it worked for me)
  • 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 2 tablespoons of sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon of ground nutmeg
  • 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon
  • 4 tablespoons of sweet cream butter (i used salted based on the flavor i was going for but you could likely modify this)
  • 8 slices of thick cut bread (i used organic white thick cut toast from trader joe’s)
  • berries of choice (i used strawberries)
  • powdered sugar
  • maple syrup (i used organic maple syrup by simply balanced which can be found at target)

 

now, for the directions:

  1. whisk together the eggs, milk, vanilla extract, sugar, nutmeg and cinnamon in a dish that is big enough to turn bread over in
  2. use a large skillet to melt the sweet cream butter over medium heat
  3. toss the bread into the mixture and be sure it is saturated on both sides
  4. put bread in skillet a fry until there is a golden brown coating on each side
  5. remove from skillet and plate
  6. top with berries, powdered sugar and syrup
  7. enjoy!

 

 

i paired the french toast with scrambled eggs with melted cheese and a couple of strips of bacon.  it did not disappoint and even has felecia’s stamp of approval!

 

when combined with the right sides (of your choosing), i would say this is enough to serve four people (with each person getting two thick slices of french toast).

 

if you make it, please let me know how it turns out!  i have loved seeing the posts of many of you trying your hand at my banana bread and lemon bars.

 

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: how you heal is your choice

i wanted to rap with you all about something that keeps resurfacing both at work and in my personal life – mental health treatment.

 

now, for those of you who are new to my blog, i have my masters in counseling psychology with a marriage and family therapy emphasis.  i currently work at an all girls college prep school as a counselor that wears two hats – one is doing academic advising for 9th and 10th grade and the other is doing mental health counseling for grades 9 through 12 while accruing the 3000 hours needed for licensure.

 

since we have been quarantined, there has been a spike in the number of students seeking treatment and an increase in the number of sessions requested by students i was already seeing regularly.  i have also been on the receiving end of tons of text messages, dms and phone calls from friends who feel like they are “losing it” or “spiraling out of control” or “simply cannot explain these feelings”.

 

for my students i was seeing regularly, some of them no longer have the privacy to discuss issues they might have in my office because the people they want to talk to me about are now at home with them.  for my students i had only seen in an academic setting that are now considering mental health treatment, there has been a lot of hesitation.  the same applies for my friends ranging from ages 25 to 60, both men and women.  when doing some digging as to where the hesitation stemmed from, there was a common theme that came up again and again.  it is one that drives me a bit crazy and something that needs to be acknowledged.  faith broussard cade put it simply:

 

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“just because your grandma/grandpa/mama/daddy didn’t “believe in therapy” doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek the mental health treatment you need…how you heal is your choice.” -faith broussard cade

 

while i know therapy still has a stigma, especially with the populations i work with, this is still something i am trying to instill in my students because i want them to be adults that do not feel shame around prioritizing mental health and healing in a way that feels good for them.  as far as my friends who have the agency over their lives and the funds to make mental health a priority with ease, i want them to break the cycle of not healing because it was not prioritized by the adults who reared them.

 

my own father went from being someone who refused to go to therapy with me as an adolescent when i requested it (and said it is for particular groups, young black women not being one of them) to questioning both my major and choice of university for undergrad to telling me on my graduation day that it “looks like you made the right decision – i am glad you listened to your gut” to hearing of the work i did during practicum in grad school and telling me how proud he was of me to opening up about some of his own traumas last year and saying that he was considering therapy for himself for the very first time at the ripe age of 63.

 

far before my dad got on board, i made a choice about my mental health in an effort to break a series of cycles that were not in alignment with who i was and more importantly, who i wanted to be.  had i listened to him, i would be have waited until i got his stamp of approval at the age of 29 before working on me.  instead, i did the work anyway (and continue to do so).

 

i am so fucking glad that i did.

 

quarantine has provided many of us with more time for quiet to sit alone with our thoughts and feelings than we typically get.  if you have had thoughts or feelings come up that don’t seem feasible to tackle on your own, what better time to vet a therapist?

 

i want you to take a moment and silence every single voice in your head that is not your own.  then, tell me what healing looks like for you.

 

xoxo,

k. tap

three.

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weepy.  exhausted.  depleted.

 

on multiple calls over the last several days, friends have checked in to see how i was doing and those are the three words that best described it.  but then again, how do you describe something in a way that captures everything all at once?  is it even possible?

 

i watched more tv than what should ever be allowed last tuesday and wednesday.  while what i was watching would have tugged at my heartstrings no matter what, i don’t think it would ordinarily produce tears.  i am not talking about a tear or two – i am talking about uncontrollable sobbing.  sometimes, i found myself still weeping even when the credits started rolling.  20 straight minutes of crying is practically unheard of for me, yet there i was.  it was not until a friend text messaged me to schedule a call that i became aware of what time of year it was.

 

i opened my calendar and it was april 29th.  there was only one day left in april before entering the month of may – the month i now dread because i am reminded over and over again that you are not here.  you passed on the 7th, mother’s day is always closely thereafter, papa’s birthday is on the 17th and your funeral was on the 25th.   on some level, it feels like i hold my breath for the entire month without ever truly feeling settled.

 

the thing about grief that is a misconception is that time heals all.  i am not a wreck 24/7, 365 but i still have days where i am a wreck.  learning to sit with that instead of trying to bury it has truly been a challenge unlike any other.

 

in the last year, i have grown, loved and lost.  i often wonder what wisdom you would have offered me.  that has only been amplified amidst the pandemic we are in.  as much as i miss you, i am almost grateful you are not having to deal with this bullshit.  it is wild.

 

anyway, i make a conscious effort to honor you both in big and small ways.  sometimes, it is something simple like baking lemon bars for the first time (i know how much you loved a good lemon dessert), sending jaclyn a sympathy card from your personal collection when she lost her grandmother or helping a well deserving student-athlete pay for her letterman jacket.  other times, it is something bigger like standing next to crystal as her maid of honor (you would have loved sam, by the way), facilitating coming out conversations between at least a dozen of my students and their families or driving six hours to the bay to comfort a friend who never asks for anything but vocalized needing support.

 

while this last year without you was easier than year two, i can say with conviction that i do not miss you any less.  the older i get and the more i work on myself, the more of you i see in me.  it is both healing and heartbreaking but the heartbreak is worth it.

 

you taught me so much about unconditional love, patience, independence, compassion and how to foster meaningful relationships – all of the things they don’t teach you in school (even though they should).  now that i am 30, i think of what this decade will hold for me.  two of the most monumental shifts will be having my own practice and becoming a mother.  while there is still some time before either of those boxes are checked off, if my 30s go by as quickly as my 20s did, i know each is just around the corner.  with what you instilled in me, i know both are undertakings i can accomplish.  i just wish you were here to experience all of it with me.

 

i love and miss you with every ounce of my being.

 

love always,

pumpkin

 

 

 

 

k. tap’s pasta salad

happy hump day!  i don’t know how the weather is in your neck of the woods but la has been having some gnarly heat waves.  as a kid, whenever the weather was like this, my mom and grammy would have a few different salads on deck at all times: tuna, chicken, potato and pasta.  the one that was always the most refreshing to me was the pasta salad because it was light and veggie packed.  an added bonus is that because it does not have meat or mayo, it holds for quite some time in the fridge if you pack it in an air tight container (up to a week).

 

i have found that during quarantine, i am often on back to back video conference calls and need something quick to munch on for lunch.  i want to be sure i am not making unhealthy choices on the regular i.e. reverting to my teen years and throwing a hot pocket in the microwave.  this pasta salad is the perfect solution and once you make it, you are set for lunch for quite some time.  it is also a great dish to take to parties/picnics/bbqs.  as i got older, i made some modifications to the original recipe.  here are the ingredients to make the pasta salad (in either two medium size bowls or one gigantic bowl).

 

ingredients:

  • two boxes of your favorite type of pasta (i typically use rigatoni, bowtie or penne for my pasta salad – this time, i used rigatoni)
  • sliver of butter
  • garlic salt
  • 3 cucumbers
  • 20 cherry tomatoes
  • 2 yellow bell peppers
  • 5 serrano peppers
  • 1/2 of a red onion
  • 2 teaspoons of minced garlic
  • bottle of your favorite italian dressing (i used the 15 oz. bottle of wishbone)
  • small bottle of mccormick’s perfect pinch salad supreme seasoning (2.62 ounces)
  • 2 cups of quattro formaggio from trader joe’s (blend of parmesan, asiago, mild provolone and fontina) – *if you do not go to trader joe’s, 2 cups of just asiago or parmesan will do
  • kosher salt (to taste – i gravitate towards salty/savory so this is something i do however, you may think it is seasoned enough without it)
  • black pepper (to taste)

 

quick notes: you can leave out the cheese if you have dairy issues without compromising the dish + you can add chicken if you feel like a meal is incomplete without meat (my mom will occasionally shred the rotisserie chicken from costco and toss it in)

 

 

now for the recipe.  it is incredibly simple and that is one of the many things i love about it.

 

  1. put a large pot of water on the stove and bring to a boil
  2. add a sliver of butter and some garlic salt to the boiling water
  3. throw in your two boxes of pasta
  4. while that is cooking, chop up all of your veggies to your preferred size (cucumbers, tomatoes, bell peppers, serranos and onion)
  5. once the pasta is cooked, strain it
  6. pour the pasta into an extra large bowl where you have room to mix everything
  7. add in all of the chopped veggies, the bottle of italian dressing, a bottle of salad supreme seasoning, garlic, cheese, salt and pepper
  8. mix well
  9. store in airtight containers (if not serving immediately)
  10. refrigerate

 

 

it is the perfect dish for warm weather.  i hope you all enjoy it!

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

sundays made sweeter with lemon bars

happy sunday!  i hope wherever you are reading this from had weather as beautiful as it was here in south pasadena today.  while i was only outside for a moment to deliver a couple of items to a neighbor, i enjoyed the natural light that streamed into my apartment.  it made for better photos for what i baked today – lemon bars!

 

both my mom and godmother have lemon trees in their backyards.  it is almost like the trees take turns alternating which one is going to bountiful year to year.  this year, my godmother’s tree is overflowing with ultra juicy lemons.  i love that they are slightly sweet.  they are great additions to water, vodka or to throw down my garbage disposal.  when cooking, i squeeze them over salads and seafood often.  but with so many extra, i decided it would be awesome to try my hand at lemon bars.

 

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this was my first time making lemon bars unassisted and i made multiple modifications to various recipes that i found so when i list the ingredients, i will indicate changes i made. the lemon bars are baked in very separate steps so i will list the ingredients that way as well.

 

ingredients for part one:

  • 1 cup of softened salted butter (i used salted sweet cream)
  • 1/2 cup of white sugar
  • 2 cups of all purpose flour

 

ingredients for part two:

  • 4 eggs
  • 1 1/2 cups of white sugar
  • 1/4 of all purpose flour
  • 2 lemons, juiced (i used two very large lemons that likely had the juice from four normal sized lemons so if you are like me and like these to have a lot of lemon flavor, use more than two if they are not as large and juicy)

 

ingredients for part three:

  • as much powdered sugar as your heart desires

 

let’s get started!

  1. preheat your oven to 350 degrees
  2. mix/blend (i mixed by hand) the ingredients from part one (softened butter, 2 cups of flour and 1/2 cup of sugar).  press into the bottom of an ungreased 13×9 inch pan. ***i realized my 13×9 pan was beat up pretty badly and lined it with aluminum foil – this caused the corner lemon bars to stick a bit which resulted in me ordering this pan from amazon for my next set of lemon bars.  thankfully, the taste was not compromised!
  3. bake for 17 to 22 minutes (i did 20) – the color should be a golden brown
  4. whisk 1 1/2 cups of sugar and 1/4 cup of flour.  then, whisk in the eggs and lemon juice.  once all together, pour over the baked crust
  5. bake for 20 more minutes, then sit on the counter to cool.  as they cool, they will firm up a bit
  6. cut into squares and plate them
  7. if you wish, dust them with powdered sugar – i certainly did!

 

when it comes to baking, the simpler the better (in my opinion).  i would say this is even more crucial while quarantined so you are not having to run out to the market repeatedly.  this recipe was easy enough for me to do the entire thing from start to finish while on a facetime call with anj.

 

they were sweet with the perfect amount of tang (thanks to those lemons) and the texture was to die for.  i would absolutely make them again and cannot wait for my new pan to arrive.  i know it will make the plating process even easier.  i am a sucker for good presentation so this will be a game changer.

 

if you make them, please let me know how they turn out!

 

xoxo,

k. tap