phew. to say that i am thrilled to start a new year would be the understatement of the century. 2021 was filled with the highest highs and the lowest lows. ironically, back in may of 2021, my dear friend melissa and i made a pact to spend new year’s eve together. little did i know that in august of 2021, melissa would be the one to set the ball in motion to be sure i made it to the hospital (where i ended up staying for 35 days with covid). fortunately, i am now healthier than ever and was able to make the trek to sacramento to visit melissa in her new home.
december was a big month for her. she had a birthday, started a new job, moved into a new home and had her first official house guest – me! i definitely had to get her a few things to celebrate. my favorite gift was one that i got for us both.
our initial rings are from happy jewelers. in addition to being gorgeous, understated and super dainty, i love that the rings are adjustable and come in three different metals. i got melissa yellow gold and rose gold for myself. they are definitely rings that can be worn daily and if you are into stacking, they are perfect. my friend hayley is a jeweler there and uploaded a video to show how to adjust/wear it. if you are looking for the perfect gift, look no further.
what did you do to celebrate the new year? we stayed in, watched the newest sex and the city episodes and had much needed quality time paired with cocktails. misu was in heaven being all cozied up with blankets and his auntie.
happy new year from me (melissa and happy jewelers) to you!
anyone that knows me knows that i do not typically love christmas. however, after the most tumultuous year of my life to date, i figured a little holiday cheer was necessary. luckily, my brother was willing to oblige.
for all of my fellow hip hop lovers, our crewnecks are paying homage to “area codes” by the one and only, ludacris. if this kind of christmas sweater is up your alley, you can find it on amazon ranging in sizes xs to 5xl in green, red and black. i let pooh bear pick his color first and it worked out perfect since red is his favorite and green is mine.
my little brother has been a constant source of support and inspiration in my life. this year has been on another level. there is no one i’d rather spend christmas with.
how are we already in december? these posts started off being called “thought of the week” because i was posting them weekly. getting back into a groove/blogging regularly post covid has been more challenging than i thought it would be. i have missed writing, however, my days are far more packed than they used to be between having a new job, commuting 30 miles each way and going to personal training three days a week after work. by the time i get home, i am wiped out! misu and i curl up on the couch and often fall asleep with bravo blasting in the background. the time change certainly did not help in the energy department. it is pitch black by 5:30pm and i am often yawning before i even get home. with that being said, i had three goals for thanksgiving break: getting a sleep schedule together, thoroughly cleaning my apartment and spending quality time with friends i do not get to see often enough. i am proud to say i accomplished all three and as a result, am feeling both rejuvenated and so excited to get back to blogging regularly.
last week, i had dinner with my best friend, his wonderful wife and two of her friends. we talked about everything from favorite outdoor activities to what we were binging on television to thoughts on covid to how to go about finding the right therapist (something all of us had in common was valuing mental health). over a plethora of tacos and margaritas, we talked about not only our experiences in therapy but finding the right therapist. something i said at dinner (that i also tell my clients) is to be able to differentiate feeling uncomfortable (because it is unfamiliar) versus feeling unsafe. if therapy is something that is a brand new concept, there is a chance it won’t feel great initially and that’s okay. doing the work is what is most important. this quote summed things up perfectly.
“you’ve relied on time to heal your wounds, but time alone isn’t enough. i hope you learn to hold yourself accountable by practicing what is right for you even if it feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar. i hope you adopt a habit of consistency when it comes to how you treat yourself.” -billy chapata
what are you doing to treat yourself better? i will be answering that very question along with many others soon on my next instagram live – questions with k. tap. it is on sunday, 12.12 at 11am pacific standard time. dm me your questions and i look forward to connecting with all of you then!
i am all about list making. on any given day, i have three to-do lists. there are the tasks i need to accomplish in a work setting, things i need to get done around the house and things i want to do for myself (meditation, a long bath, online shopping, etc.). i love writing them out so i can draw a line through each thing once complete. when on the go, i will make these lists in the notes section of my iphone. something i have been thinking of recently is whether or not there is a better way to categorize my to-do lists.
i came across this tweet during the summer and starting in december, i will be making a sincere effort to have this approach:
“i started dividing my to-do list into 1) things i have to do, 2) things i want to do, and 3) things other people want me to do. life changing! i often don’t get to 3 and i finally realized omg, is this what it means to have boundaries?! 🤯🤯🤯” -jenée desmond harris
on the days where i have felt like i am not accomplishing enough, when i take a step back, there have been times where i have made more time for what others wanted me to do instead of what i both needed or wanted to do for myself. in the class i am currently teaching around mental and emotional health & wellness, we recently had a discussion centering around mistaking self prioritization for selfishness. the two are not synonymous, even though we live in a society that would try to convince you of otherwise. there is no need to apologize for putting yourself first.
last night was my first instagram live since being released from the hospital due to covid. while i was definitely a bit nervous, it felt good to get back into a groove and connect with so many of you. i had multiple questions about my experience with being hospitalized, what recovery was like and how i was coping. if 2021 has taught me anything, it is this powerful message from maya angelou:
“you may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” -maya angelou via InHerShoes Movement
having covid, being hospitalized for 35 days and having to learn how to do the most basic things felt like i had been hit with a ton of bricks. initially, there was a complete loss of control. however, what i did have control over was how i responded and what i chose to do with my new lease on life. there is nothing more empowering than that.