34.

each year, i select a word as my theme for my personal new year. after much reflection, going into 34, i chose my word: calm.

with every curveball thrown my way during 33, i focused on “controlling the controllables” (as my coach from grit and gratitude fitness frequently reminds me to do) and something i realized now more than ever is the importance of remaining calm no matter the intensity of the storm. it has served me incredibly well.

during 33, my word of the year was reciprocity. while i could only fit 10 photos on instagram (i was certain to include more here), everyone that helped me celebrate (whether it was in bottle service, at a boozy brunch, over a spectacular dinner or in napa) reiterated the importance of reciprocal relationships and aid in me being my calmest self.

on friday, the 9th, i was determined to dip back into bay area night life. dancing all night at nova in san jose followed by late night nachos at la vic’s brought me back to my early 20s. 10 out of 10 would recommend.

saturday, the 10th, was so life giving. we did a bottomless mimosa brunch at straits followed by espresso martinis at el jardin. for any of you that are new to my love languages, words of affirmation is pretty low on the list. i used to cringe when receiving them and have worked extensively on being better at just being open to being loved out loud. i wasn’t ready for when theo had each person go around and say their favorite thing about me. it definitely got emotional for many – i wouldn’t change a fucking thing.

sunday, the 11th, was so damn sweet. i did a solo coffee date with my twin, anj. next, we did a girly brunch in livermore followed by wine tasting at concannon. i wrapped the day with anj at her bff’s house (blythe is the best host!) and got to spend some time with my nephew.

monday, one of my oldest friends booked a reservation at my family’s favorite steakhouse without even knowing that info ahead of time. if you haven’t been to mastro’s, run – don’t walk. anthony knocked it out of the park.

i kicked off my actual birthday on tuesday, the 13th, with coffee with my fellow therapist and soul sister, jaclyn and her youngest son. it was the perfect start to the day. i ended with a late night happy hour at yard house with a coworker turned friend, wilson.

i wrapped up the celebrations on presidents’ day in napa with my fellow aquarian queen and a couple of our girls. we started off with brunch at rh yountville followed by wine tasting at mumm, madonna estate and domaine carneros. we wrapped the day at celadon for dinner. it was truly the perfect day.

few things compare to entering my big diesel year (for my fellow lakers fans) surrounded by being loved in my love languages (quality time and acts of service) and feeling more grounded than i ever have in my adult life.

what is your theme word for your current year of life? or perhaps, your next year of life?

thank you for all of the wonderful birthday wishes – i truly love you all.

xoxo,

k. tap

glow.

one of the many things that contributes to my house feeling like a home are candles. i’ve loved candles since i was a kid (likely because both of my parents are candle people as well). i love the cozy feeling a candle can create and how a scent can really change the vibe of a space. at the beginning of the year, my old supervisor wanted to commemorate our year working together and we talked about different activities we could do. when i mentioned loving candles, she brought up candle making. let me introduce you to: glow.

glow candle lounge

maybe you’ve heard of petroglyph? it’s a ceramic studio where you get to glaze a variety of pieces. glow is the sister studio. there is so much to love about glow. from the spacious and inviting studio to the extraordinary customer service to the variety of candles and scents that you get to choose from – there is truly something for everyone.

part of the studio
glow associate
wall of wax
candles to create + pricing
soy wax candles
scents to choose from: floral, fresh, sweet + fruity, earthy

while i went with just one person in january, i hosted a birthday party for a dear friend here a couple of weeks ago. glow was able to comfortably accommodate a party of nine (i made a reservation to be safe since we were coming in on a saturday) and it was seamless. each of us were walked through a tutorial about how to build our candle and it was such a fun and relaxing experience.

i knew i was interested in a more layered look so i chose a candle mold and the appropriate number of tiles for said mold. i also selected some charms/decorations. i chose two champagne bottles to celebrate the end of the time with my previous boss. we had a lot to toast to so it seemed appropriate.

candle mold, wax, spackle and decorations
breaking down the wax
ready for the final step (pouring hot wax in to fill the spaces)
this step is done by an associate

the following day, i swung by the studio to pick up our pieces. they turned out wonderfully!

final product!
boss’s final product

when at glow a couple of weeks ago, some friends did soy wax candles and those were so cool as well. i not only loved the vessels, i was obsessed with the dried flowers added to each of their candles.

soy wax candles

glow is located in willow glen (in san jose, ca) on lincoln avenue. there are a ton of great restaurants on the street if you want to make a day out of it the way we did. glow also allows you to bring food in if you’d like to either bring something from home or pick up something from a nearby establishment. when i return this weekend, i will likely bring little snack plates for my girlfriends and i to tie us over until dinner.

i cannot recommend this place enough! and for those of you who are parents, it is definitely kid friendly.

if you choose to visit soon, don’t forget to let me know!

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: say, “i love you”

happy monday! this month, my spirit has been filled with so much love and joy that i could have literally burst. in recapping our birthdays, anj (who i also refer to as “twin”) and i couldn’t help but think about how grateful we both were for the ways in which our friends showed up for us. while i plan on posting a full birthday recap along with my theme for 34 on the last day of this month, i thought it was fitting that i stumbled across this quote on anj’s birthday a couple of weeks ago (on the 10th).

“dear me, say ‘i love you’ to your friends sincerely and often. love, me”

while words of affirmation are something i have to consciously work at, something i have gotten great at over the years is telling my friends that i love them. whether they are leaving my apartment, we are hanging up a facetime call or we are hugging each other before leaving a restaurant, i make sure to tell my friends i love them. i want them to know how much they mean to me, what they bring to my life and that i do not take them or their presence for granted. in many ways, my blog post on thursday will be a love letter to myself for making it through 33 and to my friends for walking alongside me the entire way. i couldn’t love them more.

when is the last time you told the members of your inner circle you loved them? and no, i don’t just mean on their birthdays or when a tragedy has taken place – how often do you tell your friends you love them? call or text a friend that you love tomorrow and share this with them. tell me how it goes!

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: it’s simple.

you guys – february is in two days. somehow, january has been both the shortest and longest month ever. while i am in disbelief that we are rapidly approaching february, the days have been so packed that each day feels like two days. with february being a month centered around love, especially romantic relationships, i have been asked to do some mental health programming around healthy relationships at the university where i work. while i already have a slide deck prepared and a healthy relationship assessment for students to take, i typically like to have simple takeaways for them. this quote i saw last month will be one of those takeaways – it is so simple yet so critical.

if you’re doing the work, you deserve to be with someone who is also doing the work. it’s simple. -sara kuburic (millennial therapist)

when it comes to relationships of any kind, but especially romantic ones, don’t shortchange yourself by being with someone who is emotionally stunted without a growth mindset if you are someone who is actively doing the work. no matter how much work you do, it will not be enough to offset what someone else is not doing. don’t exhaust yourself by pouring into people who are not able to pour into you or even pour into themselves. it really is simple.

xoxo,

k. tap

national bubble bath day

there seems to be a holiday for absolutely everything these days but one that i am happy to celebrate is national bubble bath day.

kicking off national bubble bath day the right way this morning at melissa’s house

i frequently use the bathtub as a way to decompress, reset and also soak my muscles after personal training with grit and gratitude fitness. i loved baths as a toddler and never outgrew it. i actually would say i come from a family of bath connoisseurs. one of my absolute favorite products for my time in the tub comes from the aromatherapy line from bath and body works.

eucalyptus + spearmint stress relief
body wash + foam bath

this eucalyptus + spearmint stress relief body wash + foam bath with vitamin e + aloe not only makes me feel like i’ve transported to the world’s most peaceful spa in the middle of the woods, it leaves my skin feeling moisturized without feeling oily. it produces the perfect amount of bubbles and a little goes a long way because it lathers wonderfully. i often burn the candle during my bath and while i relax for awhile before either getting dressed for the day or getting ready for bed. i find that eucalyptus creates a zen vibe for me. i couldn’t recommend these products more if you are looking to practice a bit of self care.

what products do you like to use in the bath?

xoxo,

k. tap