this weekend, i had the pleasure of flying to washington to celebrate my nephew’s 5th birthday. anj (aka twin) planned an amazing day for her sweet boy.
enzo was so surprised to see me along with many friends and family members at a private screening of one of his favorite movies. seeing him jump with excitement as each new cluster of people arrived made my heart swell.
no one could have prepared me for the way my heart has doubled in size since he was born. hearing him ask if auntie k flew “all the way from california just for his birthday” nearly brought me to tears. naturally, i told him that birthdays are a big deal and a long as i can, i will be there for each of his parties.
i figured i’d take trip down memory lane and pick a photo from each year with auntie’s baby.
fall 2020 – our first meeting summer 2021 – arizona spring 2022 – washington winter 2023 – washington summer 2024 – hawaii fall 2025 – washington
i saw this quote today and it hit the nail on the head.
“being an aunt is loving a tiny human that isn’t yours with all your heart.”
happy birthday to one of the brightest, funniest and most charismatic five year olds on earth. auntie k loves you to the moon and back.
hi lovelies! i hope that your summer is off to a wonderful start. it is hard to put into words how good it feels to be able to tap into this creative side of mine.
my favorite day of the summer is july 24th and it has been since i knew what a calendar was because it is my godsister’s birthday. for those of you that are new here, crystal and i have been friends since birth (my mom convinced a few of her friends to have babies at the same time as her so i could have playmates). my mom is her godmother and her mom is mine. it only seems right for my first thought of the week in months to be about sisterhood – without crystal, i wouldn’t know the meaning of it.
february 1991 – crystal and i at my first birthday “sisterhood is holding space for one another to be our full selves — whatever that looks like. messy or not. it’s loving each other while we figure life out.” -ashley hobbs
my godsister has had this magical way of meeting me exactly where i am. when we were kids, it came in the form of supporting my bizarre interests and hobbies (like playing in a competitive handbell choir). in our teens, it was being a place of refuge when i was feeling misunderstood and when it was time for me to go to college, it was making the trek up north to move me in. in our 20s, it was walking alongside me through grief, scary medical procedures and returning back to an la i didn’t recognize without my grandmother in it. in our 30s, it has been supporting me as i support others and encouraging me to prioritize myself unapologetically.
june 2023 – me and my godsister at her mom’s 60th
it hasn’t just been the dark times she has seen me through – it is the three hour facetimes filled with laughter, the dinners that turn into six hours together but feel like six minutes, the girls trips, the family parties, the celebrating every single win together as if we both hit lotto – my godsister reminds me daily that i am rich in sisterhood. thank you for loving me fully, even when i am messy.
how rare and beautiful to be loved exactly as i am while also being inspired to be better and better because of how magical she is.
september 2023 – my godsister and me at my mom’s 60th
happy 35th to my first ride or die – i love you so much, godsister.
who in your life has taught you about sisterhood? have you told her how much you love and appreciate her lately?
today is one of my favorite days of the year – it’s my wifey’s birthday!
reens + me
reens (maureen) and i met back in 2013 while working at acura. both of us were pursuing degrees – reens was in undergrad and i was in grad school. we joke around about how i really was not looking for any new friends however with her being just as beautiful inside as she is outside, it was impossible not to fall in love with her. we eventually left acura and stayed in touch throughout. it was an added bonus when we found ourselves working at honda together. it was almost eery to be able to work and communicate so seamlessly with someone – it is like we would read each other’s minds.
as if 25-30 hours a week together at work wasn’t enough, we found ourselves doing weekly wine nights, brunches on weekends we weren’t working and traveling together (including a vegas trip we planned for a dozen people where i was there for less than 12 hours before going back to work 🙃). reens helped plan my surprise going away party in 2017 before i moved back to la and even with me being away from the bay, we didn’t skip a beat. when she left the bay to move to chicago for grad school, we really just showed that long distance is doable if you’re down to do the work. never in a million years did i imagine we would both be back in the bay in our 30s but man – i am so happy we are together again. and yesterday, eight of us got together to celebrate our favorite girl.
birthday brunch for reens!
during brunch, i asked everyone to think about their favorite quality and/or memory of reens they would like to share to commemorate the first 32 years of her life and to usher in a wonderful 33rd year (this was initiated by one of my best friends, theo, at my 34th birthday and it was such an unexpected treat). as the seven of us went around sharing what we loved most about reens, there was definitely some overlap in what was vocalized from what a great host she is to how her smile lights up any space she enters to her unparalleled energy – just to name a few. one of the things that stood out the most to me was the way we each talked about how reens has shown up for each of us without hesitation, even when life was throwing curveballs in her direction. when i came across this quote today, it seemed like it was meant for reens (and for my first blog back in months!):
“its about who stands in the rain with you, when they also have a choice to be dry. remember that.”
be sure you choose people who value reciprocity and who are willing to stand in the rain with you.
last week, my very first college roommate turned best friend, turned 35. marilena was someone i immediately clicked with and i felt so grateful to be randomly paired with someone perfectly suited for me. to be honest, when i think back to our hall freshman year, it was filled to the brim with people i feel so blessed to know and love. now that marilena is back in the bay, we did a weekend of celebrating and it was the best.
on friday, marilena, makensy, jackie and i circled back to glow to make candles and it was so much fun.
makensy’s tile setup
after glow, we went to dinner at zazil on santana row. the drink that we had to have more than one of was the pintado de rosa. there is something about the balance of the fresh strawberry puree with the citrus and tequila that is just next level.
pintado de rosa
on saturday, marilena’s family hosted a dinner party for about 15 of us with the most delicious traditional mexican food and great cocktails. while we ended up at a bar after dinner and makensy and i kept marilena and jared up for hours once returning to their home, my favorite part of the night was when all of the women were gathered in one room after dinner. sonya (marilena’s cousin) spoke about what marilena meant to her and how wonderful it is to go from having marilena be her flower girl to them being friends as adults. sonya opened up the floor for many of us to share. a theme i couldn’t help but notice as women across generations spoke about marilena is how she has encouraged growth in each of us – we are all better for knowing her. there were many points where i glanced across the room at marilena, makensy and jackie and was in disbelief that this september will mark SEVENTEEN years of us knowing and loving one another. when i think of who we each were when walking into santa clara’s campus as 17 and 18 year olds, it is truly wild. in taking time to think of the plethora of versions of each of us that have existed between then and now, it is heartwarming to know that the love and connection has just grown deeper. while it isn’t a guarantee, it is true for us and made me think of this quote i stumbled across back in january:
there is something so beautiful about having long-term friends that have witnessed multiple versions of you and loved you unconditionally through each version.
man. nothing compares to being loved unconditionally by people who have seen you at your highest of highs and lowest of lows. marilena has truly seen me through it all and has taught me how to not only show up for others, but how to show up for myself. that isn’t something i take for granted.
marilena + me at mumm napa
on sunday, marilena, makensy and i did a day trip to napa. we started at domaine carneros, swung over to madonna estate, all toasted to marilena and our 17 year anniversary at mumm and wrapped with dinner at rh yountville.
each year, i select a word as my theme for my personal new year. after much reflection, going into 34, i chose my word: calm.
with every curveball thrown my way during 33, i focused on “controlling the controllables” (as my coach from grit and gratitude fitness frequently reminds me to do) and something i realized now more than ever is the importance of remaining calm no matter the intensity of the storm. it has served me incredibly well.
during 33, my word of the year was reciprocity. while i could only fit 10 photos on instagram (i was certain to include more here), everyone that helped me celebrate (whether it was in bottle service, at a boozy brunch, over a spectacular dinner or in napa) reiterated the importance of reciprocal relationships and aid in me being my calmest self.
on friday, the 9th, i was determined to dip back into bay area night life. dancing all night at nova in san jose followed by late night nachos at la vic’s brought me back to my early 20s. 10 out of 10 would recommend.
saturday, the 10th, was so life giving. we did a bottomless mimosa brunch at straits followed by espresso martinis at el jardin. for any of you that are new to my love languages, words of affirmation is pretty low on the list. i used to cringe when receiving them and have worked extensively on being better at just being open to being loved out loud. i wasn’t ready for when theo had each person go around and say their favorite thing about me. it definitely got emotional for many – i wouldn’t change a fucking thing.
sunday, the 11th, was so damn sweet. i did a solo coffee date with my twin, anj. next, we did a girly brunch in livermore followed by wine tasting at concannon. i wrapped the day with anj at her bff’s house (blythe is the best host!) and got to spend some time with my nephew.
monday, one of my oldest friends booked a reservation at my family’s favorite steakhouse without even knowing that info ahead of time. if you haven’t been to mastro’s, run – don’t walk. anthony knocked it out of the park.
i kicked off my actual birthday on tuesday, the 13th, with coffee with my fellow therapist and soul sister, jaclyn and her youngest son. it was the perfect start to the day. i ended with a late night happy hour at yard house with a coworker turned friend, wilson.
i wrapped up the celebrations on presidents’ day in napa with my fellow aquarian queen and a couple of our girls. we started off with brunch at rh yountville followed by wine tasting at mumm, madonna estate and domaine carneros. we wrapped the day at celadon for dinner. it was truly the perfect day.
few things compare to entering my big diesel year (for my fellow lakers fans) surrounded by being loved in my love languages (quality time and acts of service) and feeling more grounded than i ever have in my adult life.
what is your theme word for your current year of life? or perhaps, your next year of life?
thank you for all of the wonderful birthday wishes – i truly love you all.
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