today is one of my favorite days of the year – it’s my wifey’s birthday!
reens + me
reens (maureen) and i met back in 2013 while working at acura. both of us were pursuing degrees – reens was in undergrad and i was in grad school. we joke around about how i really was not looking for any new friends however with her being just as beautiful inside as she is outside, it was impossible not to fall in love with her. we eventually left acura and stayed in touch throughout. it was an added bonus when we found ourselves working at honda together. it was almost eery to be able to work and communicate so seamlessly with someone – it is like we would read each other’s minds.
as if 25-30 hours a week together at work wasn’t enough, we found ourselves doing weekly wine nights, brunches on weekends we weren’t working and traveling together (including a vegas trip we planned for a dozen people where i was there for less than 12 hours before going back to work 🙃). reens helped plan my surprise going away party in 2017 before i moved back to la and even with me being away from the bay, we didn’t skip a beat. when she left the bay to move to chicago for grad school, we really just showed that long distance is doable if you’re down to do the work. never in a million years did i imagine we would both be back in the bay in our 30s but man – i am so happy we are together again. and yesterday, eight of us got together to celebrate our favorite girl.
birthday brunch for reens!
during brunch, i asked everyone to think about their favorite quality and/or memory of reens they would like to share to commemorate the first 32 years of her life and to usher in a wonderful 33rd year (this was initiated by one of my best friends, theo, at my 34th birthday and it was such an unexpected treat). as the seven of us went around sharing what we loved most about reens, there was definitely some overlap in what was vocalized from what a great host she is to how her smile lights up any space she enters to her unparalleled energy – just to name a few. one of the things that stood out the most to me was the way we each talked about how reens has shown up for each of us without hesitation, even when life was throwing curveballs in her direction. when i came across this quote today, it seemed like it was meant for reens (and for my first blog back in months!):
“its about who stands in the rain with you, when they also have a choice to be dry. remember that.”
be sure you choose people who value reciprocity and who are willing to stand in the rain with you.
each year, i select a word as my theme for my personal new year. after much reflection, going into 34, i chose my word: calm.
with every curveball thrown my way during 33, i focused on “controlling the controllables” (as my coach from grit and gratitude fitness frequently reminds me to do) and something i realized now more than ever is the importance of remaining calm no matter the intensity of the storm. it has served me incredibly well.
during 33, my word of the year was reciprocity. while i could only fit 10 photos on instagram (i was certain to include more here), everyone that helped me celebrate (whether it was in bottle service, at a boozy brunch, over a spectacular dinner or in napa) reiterated the importance of reciprocal relationships and aid in me being my calmest self.
on friday, the 9th, i was determined to dip back into bay area night life. dancing all night at nova in san jose followed by late night nachos at la vic’s brought me back to my early 20s. 10 out of 10 would recommend.
saturday, the 10th, was so life giving. we did a bottomless mimosa brunch at straits followed by espresso martinis at el jardin. for any of you that are new to my love languages, words of affirmation is pretty low on the list. i used to cringe when receiving them and have worked extensively on being better at just being open to being loved out loud. i wasn’t ready for when theo had each person go around and say their favorite thing about me. it definitely got emotional for many – i wouldn’t change a fucking thing.
sunday, the 11th, was so damn sweet. i did a solo coffee date with my twin, anj. next, we did a girly brunch in livermore followed by wine tasting at concannon. i wrapped the day with anj at her bff’s house (blythe is the best host!) and got to spend some time with my nephew.
monday, one of my oldest friends booked a reservation at my family’s favorite steakhouse without even knowing that info ahead of time. if you haven’t been to mastro’s, run – don’t walk. anthony knocked it out of the park.
i kicked off my actual birthday on tuesday, the 13th, with coffee with my fellow therapist and soul sister, jaclyn and her youngest son. it was the perfect start to the day. i ended with a late night happy hour at yard house with a coworker turned friend, wilson.
i wrapped up the celebrations on presidents’ day in napa with my fellow aquarian queen and a couple of our girls. we started off with brunch at rh yountville followed by wine tasting at mumm, madonna estate and domaine carneros. we wrapped the day at celadon for dinner. it was truly the perfect day.
few things compare to entering my big diesel year (for my fellow lakers fans) surrounded by being loved in my love languages (quality time and acts of service) and feeling more grounded than i ever have in my adult life.
what is your theme word for your current year of life? or perhaps, your next year of life?
thank you for all of the wonderful birthday wishes – i truly love you all.
my favorite part of this holiday season was hosting some amazing women for a little holiday get together i called “christmas cocktails with kristin” – it was a blast! while typically not a christmas girlie, i wanted to create some festive spirit since i knew i’d be helping to care for my dad over thanksgiving week. it was the best decision i could have made. there is absolutely nothing wrong with creating your own joy.
my little tabletop tree
i found the cute little gift bags (filled with prizes for our game winners), the sign and the christmas candle at hobby lobby. while visiting anj in washington the week before, i was able to find the bulk of what i needed for the party for under $60! truly unreal.
mimosa bar with cranberry blood orange + white cranberry juice options; a holiday punch with cranberry, pineapple, vodka and club soda; red sangria with a cabernet and bourbon + white sangria with a sauvignon blanc and vodka
i love having options for beverages and know that people gravitate towards different things. i wanted the girls to be able to customize their mimosas – maybe you want a lot of juice or maybe you just want enough to change the color. with them being able to pour it themselves versus it being premixed, that was more than doable. a few of my friends get headaches from champagne/sparkling wine so i also did two sangrias and a spiked holiday punch. all were enjoyed!
hot cocoa bar with marshmallows, peppermint crunch, sprinkles, original whipped cream and peppermint whipped cream
for the girls looking for a cozy beverage or a little something sweet, the hot chocolate bar was a hit. while i prefer my hot chocolate with milk, i used this hot water dispenser instead because lactose is not everyone’s friend. the girls being able to add as little or as much cocoa as they wanted was definitely the move.
the girlies 🎄🥂
i wanted everyone to be comfortable so we all wore our favorite christmas pajamas. my little sleep shirt is from asos. while we couldn’t all fit on the photo wall at once, it definitely worked in pairs/trios. reens covered the wall in a festive wrapping paper the night before the party (along with making my place look more festive as a whole).
your therapists need to have fun, too! bagel bar, charcuterie boards and red velvet cupcakes
i like the idea of being able to graze, especially when not having formal place settings for each person. this allowed for just that.
christmas cookie decorating
the cookie decorating contest was hilarious and made me feel like a little kid again. i bought this set at target that included all pre baked cookies along with icing pens and sprinkles. we may or may not have borrowed some toppings from the hot chocolate bar for a little extra flair.
more than anything, i just loved having so many of my favorite women in one place. the holidays can be so tough, especially for those of us who have experienced a significant amount of grief and loss. this felt like a chance to make the holiday season feel more joyous and to do it on my own terms. 10 out of 10 would recommend if you are looking to reclaim the holiday season.
what was your favorite part about the holiday season? i hope that there was at least one part that made you smile like this.
it is hard to know where to begin. so maybe we start with a photo of the finished product?
photo evidence of what it looks like when i relinquish control and let my friends show up for me – theo, i adore you.
thirty fucking three. saying 33 out loud as my age and not just pippen’s number (felecia and i just finished rewatching the last dance docuseries a couple of weeks ago) is wild. however, after how touch and go 31 was for me, i promised myself i wouldn’t just celebrate milestone birthdays. each year is worth celebrating. each day is truly a gift. theo knows this is my mindset. that’s part of why he called me out in january. well, it is more like he called me in.
theo knows i am a planner by nature. neither of us could remember the last birthday i celebrated without looping in the appropriate parties with less than 90 days notice. so imagine theo’s surprise when it was sunday, january 15th, and he had not received an invitation to anything. february 13th was just around the corner. instead of beating me up, he asked me about each area of my life. we talked about it all – family, friends, work, wellness, love life, etc. what we realized is that each area of my life seemed off balance – so much so that with the free moments i did have, i simply did not have the capacity to plan my birthday, track rsvps and show up enthusiastically. theo got quiet and said he had something to ask me. his next words were:
“kristin. i am going to propose an idea. your natural response/gut reaction will be to say no but i urge you to ‘say yes’ anyway.” i waited to what seemed like an eternity and then he said, “i want you to let me plan and host your birthday this year.”
y’all. i was FLOORED. you know the last time someone else planned a full fledged birthday party for me was? 1999. i was turning nine and mark + felecia rented out skate depot for me and all of my little fourth grade friends. every year since then, i have taken lead on this. i’ve had some great celebrations whether i kept it local in la, turned up in vegas, went wine tasting or a boozy brunch, the thing that each year had in common was spending time with people i love. even though i nearly had a stroke at the thought of letting someone else plan my birthday, i asked myself what i would tell my clients and i knew the answer: let the people who love you show up for you – there is power in relinquishing control.
i did exactly that. the rest? well, it was magic.
my mom, misu and i showed up to one of my favorite restaurants in the bay – meso mediterranean. when i arrived, not only was our private room beautifully decorated, so many people i loved from different chapters of my life were all in one space. there was no longer a need to wonder what someone they had heard many stories about was like in the flesh because they got to soak up that energy in real time.
friendships with start dates ranging from 2008 to 2016 and the thing they all have in common? being beautiful badasses.
with each table i approached, my heart bursted all over again. the love in the room was equal parts overwhelming and intoxicating.
you know when you meet someone and they instantly feel like family? that’s how it was with these two.
realizing that people had traveled up from la and down from sf/oakland/sacramento was so heartwarming.
when your old coworkers function more like sisters
theo had arranged a slideshow. it was amazing to see photos dating back from 2007 and was truly a testament to how we’ve watched each other grow up. we looked like babies because we were! being back at scu where it all began was such a full circle moment. being able to celebrate with people i met at scu whether it be in undergrad or in grad school while in reslife was incredible.
the og scu reslife crew – i married the two on the right this past fall!
seeing old and new friends laugh, toast with my mom and entertain misu while i was with each guest was the best.
my mom and many of my friends who are like her adopted children/nieces/nephews
and just when i thought i couldn’t be more grateful, theo directed our attention to the screen below. there was video after video of loved ones who couldn’t be there to celebrate but were there in spirit. many of the messages moved me to tears. oftentimes, people don’t get their flowers while they can still smell them. i was fortunate enough to get plenty (both literally and figuratively) this past weekend.
theo and evan are also the most attractive couple in the world. don’t @ me.
evan (theo’s partner) not only helped theo host but took photos of me with each of my guests and gifted me the most thoughtful card and gorgeous bouquet with sunflowers. they are on my nightstand as we speak.
while i was hesitant to be vulnerable and relinquish control, i am so glad i did. there are not enough words in the english language to thank you, theo. just know i love you so much and appreciate you yesterday, today and always.
i’d kiss you a thousand times over if i could
the icing on the cake? the party not ending until nearly 11pm and being able to laugh like this with my grad school bestie.
therapists can have fun, too!
misu being in bottle service was a life goal. it has now been fulfilled!
misu as security misu soaking up the club vibes
kicking off 33 has highlighted the importance of practicing what i preach, remembering to pour into people who pour into me and always being grateful.
happy birthday kristin!
it truly was a happy birthday. i am looking forward to my 33rd trip around the sun.
maybe it’s because i am sitting at an airport as i type this or maybe it’s because i am desperately in need of a stiff yet smooth lavender martini like the one served there but i knew that today, each of you needed to discover the magic that is flora farms.
hillary really knocked it out of the park with restaurant recommendations/reservations while we were in mexico a couple of months ago. each one had something different yet amazing to offer. and each one was good enough to return to on our future visits. what made flora farms special is that it is an organic farm to table restaurant and everything you’d ever need for a restorative weekend getaway could be found somewhere across then 25 acres without ever leaving the premises. do you want a delicious meal? a spa treatment? to adopt a dog? to do some shopping for home decor? to take a cooking or painting class?
look no further.
lavender martini – the best i’ve ever had – perfectly balanced + fresh and floral rosemary ham and egg – it was hard to decide which lie to go with but i couldn’t say no to this flavor profilefennel sausage – hilly and sarah thoroughly enjoyed this pie
not pictured were the most seasoned and crisp potatoes with hollandaise and a sweet and gooey cinnamon roll we all shared. TO DIE FOR.
hilly and me 🤍hilly, sarah (our beautiful bride to be) and me – the grounds were absolutely breathtaking
after spending more time at flora farms, we know that on our next trip, we’d like to spend at least two days/nights there. i think it would make the most sense to start off as we usually do – in party mode for friday and saturday in the city, then shift over to this oasis on sunday to recover completely before heading back to california early the following week.
have you ever been to flora farms? if not, does this seem up your alley?
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