happy monday! this month, my spirit has been filled with so much love and joy that i could have literally burst. in recapping our birthdays, anj (who i also refer to as “twin”) and i couldn’t help but think about how grateful we both were for the ways in which our friends showed up for us. while i plan on posting a full birthday recap along with my theme for 34 on the last day of this month, i thought it was fitting that i stumbled across this quote on anj’s birthday a couple of weeks ago (on the 10th).
“dear me, say ‘i love you’ to your friends sincerely and often. love, me”
while words of affirmation are something i have to consciously work at, something i have gotten great at over the years is telling my friends that i love them. whether they are leaving my apartment, we are hanging up a facetime call or we are hugging each other before leaving a restaurant, i make sure to tell my friends i love them. i want them to know how much they mean to me, what they bring to my life and that i do not take them or their presence for granted. in many ways, my blog post on thursday will be a love letter to myself for making it through 33 and to my friends for walking alongside me the entire way. i couldn’t love them more.
when is the last time you told the members of your inner circle you loved them? and no, i don’t just mean on their birthdays or when a tragedy has taken place – how often do you tell your friends you love them? call or text a friend that you love tomorrow and share this with them. tell me how it goes!
you guys – february is in two days. somehow, january has been both the shortest and longest month ever. while i am in disbelief that we are rapidly approaching february, the days have been so packed that each day feels like two days. with february being a month centered around love, especially romantic relationships, i have been asked to do some mental health programming around healthy relationships at the university where i work. while i already have a slide deck prepared and a healthy relationship assessment for students to take, i typically like to have simple takeaways for them. this quote i saw last month will be one of those takeaways – it is so simple yet so critical.
if you’re doing the work, you deserve to be with someone who is also doing the work. it’s simple. -sara kuburic (millennial therapist)
when it comes to relationships of any kind, but especially romantic ones, don’t shortchange yourself by being with someone who is emotionally stunted without a growth mindset if you are someone who is actively doing the work. no matter how much work you do, it will not be enough to offset what someone else is not doing. don’t exhaust yourself by pouring into people who are not able to pour into you or even pour into themselves. it really is simple.
my favorite part of this holiday season was hosting some amazing women for a little holiday get together i called “christmas cocktails with kristin” – it was a blast! while typically not a christmas girlie, i wanted to create some festive spirit since i knew i’d be helping to care for my dad over thanksgiving week. it was the best decision i could have made. there is absolutely nothing wrong with creating your own joy.
my little tabletop tree
i found the cute little gift bags (filled with prizes for our game winners), the sign and the christmas candle at hobby lobby. while visiting anj in washington the week before, i was able to find the bulk of what i needed for the party for under $60! truly unreal.
mimosa bar with cranberry blood orange + white cranberry juice options; a holiday punch with cranberry, pineapple, vodka and club soda; red sangria with a cabernet and bourbon + white sangria with a sauvignon blanc and vodka
i love having options for beverages and know that people gravitate towards different things. i wanted the girls to be able to customize their mimosas – maybe you want a lot of juice or maybe you just want enough to change the color. with them being able to pour it themselves versus it being premixed, that was more than doable. a few of my friends get headaches from champagne/sparkling wine so i also did two sangrias and a spiked holiday punch. all were enjoyed!
hot cocoa bar with marshmallows, peppermint crunch, sprinkles, original whipped cream and peppermint whipped cream
for the girls looking for a cozy beverage or a little something sweet, the hot chocolate bar was a hit. while i prefer my hot chocolate with milk, i used this hot water dispenser instead because lactose is not everyone’s friend. the girls being able to add as little or as much cocoa as they wanted was definitely the move.
the girlies 🎄🥂
i wanted everyone to be comfortable so we all wore our favorite christmas pajamas. my little sleep shirt is from asos. while we couldn’t all fit on the photo wall at once, it definitely worked in pairs/trios. reens covered the wall in a festive wrapping paper the night before the party (along with making my place look more festive as a whole).
your therapists need to have fun, too! bagel bar, charcuterie boards and red velvet cupcakes
i like the idea of being able to graze, especially when not having formal place settings for each person. this allowed for just that.
christmas cookie decorating
the cookie decorating contest was hilarious and made me feel like a little kid again. i bought this set at target that included all pre baked cookies along with icing pens and sprinkles. we may or may not have borrowed some toppings from the hot chocolate bar for a little extra flair.
more than anything, i just loved having so many of my favorite women in one place. the holidays can be so tough, especially for those of us who have experienced a significant amount of grief and loss. this felt like a chance to make the holiday season feel more joyous and to do it on my own terms. 10 out of 10 would recommend if you are looking to reclaim the holiday season.
what was your favorite part about the holiday season? i hope that there was at least one part that made you smile like this.
this year has been full of milestones – many of my nearest and dearest are buying homes, starting businesses, tying the knot and having babies. there are multiple loved ones who have had huge birthdays – 30, 40 and 60. being able to celebrate with my friends and family is not something i take for granted. this made ringing in my mom’s 60th that much more special.
mommy + me
all my mom knew was that she wanted all of her favorite people in one place with good food, drinks flowing and dancing all night. we were definitely able to pull that off. it was nostalgic to have her party in the city she grew up in (quite literally down the street from where my grandfather still lives). as people poured in, there were friends from each place she worked, elementary, middle and high school, extended family members from oklahoma, friends of mine she has taken in as her own and of course, our immediate family.
papa + his girls
it meant the world to my mom and i to see my aunt and cousin walk in with papa (my grandfather). as we watch those that we love age, seeing them be able to celebrate means more than it ever did before. it was the sweetest seeing my mom’s friends (many of whom she’s known since 6th grade) run up to papa, embrace him and reminisce about the kind of home he and grammy built – one where everyone was welcomed. the memories made there have truly stood the test of time.
yvonne (my godmother), sheila, my mom and linda (my mom’s oldest friend 🤎)
my godmother and valentina (not pictured) were quick to contact me months before my mom’s birthday to ask how they could help me. from running errands in la i wouldn’t be able to do from the bay to helping with florals and setup, it truly couldn’t have happened without them. my godmother and mom honestly function more like sisters. linda and my mom had not seen each other since each of their 50th birthdays. watching them embrace brought tears to my eyes – it was like no time had passed. i know witnessing the way my mom and grandmother approached friendship over the years set the tone for how i approach mine – friends are truly your chosen family. seeing my mom’s friends show up for her by the dozen reiterated just that.
my godsister + me
it should come as no surprise that my godmother raised an amazing daughter. my godsister has pretty much been a built in best friend since birth. knowing i could count on her to help make my mom’s party special really took some of the pressure off and made it so much easier to enjoy the evening later on. i think the bartender would agree.
reens, mom, me + sam
when reens and sam not only agreed to do the balloon arch but to come down early to help set up to make the night a success, we were overjoyed. any time spent with them is the absolute best – whether we are in sweats on the sofa, exploring a new place, toasting at a boozy brunch or celebrating milestones together. they are those friends that consistently meet us where we are and we are so grateful for them.
anthony + me
anthony hands probably still smell like citrus after chopping hundreds of lemon and lime wedges for the bar. the irony? anthony doesn’t even drink. truly a testament of what you do for those you love. anthony and my mom have really the sweetest connection. she has always loved how powerful anthony is with a pen. my mom still speaks fondly about something he wrote when we were in undergrad. it was special to have him be there to help her celebrate.
pooh bear + me
my brother had been driving me crazy in the months leading up to my mom’s party. i am sure if you ask him, he would say the same thing about me. the wild thing about music is it’s ability to bring people together. the second we heard “wipe me down” by boosie, our eyes locked, we hashed it out on the dance floor, had the dj run it back and put on the remix (the only version worth listening to). men – if you don’t have a velvet shirt for fall/winter, go buy one immediately. pooh bear was an entire mood.
me, reens, ram ram + my godsister
you know it is a good party when your legs and feet are aching from dancing and your ribs and face are hurting from nonstop laughter and smiling. that is ALWAYS how i feel after night spent out with these three. while i love my nights in with each of them, the nights out are just as invigorating in a different way. the way each of them love my mom and me? unparalleled.
nick, mom, me + melissa
both nick and melissa are friends of mine my mom has adopted in the last five years. nick’s mom and my mom are birthday twins so the party being the day before both of their birthdays worked out wonderfully. melissa and my mom already loved one another but are trauma bonded after my covid stint a couple of years ago. it felt so good to be together for something celebratory with all of us in good health.
sam, reens, me, alexz + hashim
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again – the connections i made while working at the dealership were truly the best of any place i’ve ever worked. there has never been a workplace where i’ve been able to show up completely unfiltered and have nearly every person around me doing the exact same thing. my little bay babies came through and elevated the night with their energy (especially when anything by e40, too short or mac dre was on).
cheers!
there were more trips than i could count made to the bar to toast to/with the birthday girl. the night was exactly what i wanted for my mom – filled with limitless love and laughter. it is incredibly special to watch my mom step into 60 as the most confident, unapologetic and beautiful (both inside and out) version of herself. i truly think this will be her best decade yet.
cheers to another trip around the sun, mama bear. i love you so much!
has this week not been the absolute longest?! so many friends and coworkers told me by tuesday, they felt like it was friday and i felt that in the depths of my soul. you know what makes fridays exponentially better? great mexican food, greater service and the greatest company. welcome to puesto!
guacamole trio (puesto perfect with parmigiano reggiano, classic and nogada with mango, pomegranate and walnuts)
first things first – if you are going to puesto in santa clara, you have to request to sit in sergio’s section. he is the absolute best, has great attention to detail and is truly hilarious. we felt instantly connected to him and will be going back for another visit soon. next – be sure you are there with great company. nick and i met five years ago this month courtesy of a mutual friend (ryan – you are a gem). shortly after meeting, we felt more like family. i believe in celebrating milestones in all of my relationships so we decided we needed a five year anniversary dinner to honor being part of one another’s chosen family. puesto did not disappoint.
cucumber margarita (for me)
watermelon margarita (for nick)
the margaritas were fresh, flavorful, packed a punch and were not overly sweet. i knew from a previous visit that we had to have the lobster guacamole but could not say no when sergio brought us the guac trio above to enjoy with our cocktails until our lobster guac was ready. of the three, the nogada (with fresh pomegranate and mango) was my favorite. it tied us over perfectly until this beauty arrived.
lobster guacamole
the lobster guacamole was just as good as i remembered. at this point, i knew i wanted to enjoy another cocktail so i needed to keep dinner light (both because i had plenty of chips + guac AND because i do personal training mondays, tuesdays and thursdays with grit and gratitude – i do not work that hard to throw it all away). the kale caesar with a dollop of guac from our trip plate paired with the short rib quesabirria taco was a combo i will likely get again and again.
caesar salad
short rib quesabirria taco
if i could have had 10 of these tacos, i would have. nick built an assorted taco plate and loved them all.
tacos: short rib quesabirria, baja fish, mushroom + ribeye
it was clear we were going to be here for quite awhile – we were having too much fun with sergio, the food was great and the conversation was never-ending. i saw a guava margarita on the menu and figured why the hell not?
guava margarita
nick is the ultimate pusher so tequila shots were in order.
tequila shot with a tajin rim
for dessert, i had a couple of bites of the mango cake but my real dessert was the espresso martini. the cake paired with the chocolate bark was unexpected but so good.
mango cake
espresso martini
i left puesto with a full belly and a full heart. always say yes to good guac, captivating conversations, fabulous friends (love you, nick! ladies – he is single!) and partying at puesto.
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