thought of the week: find people you don’t have to pretend with

the last few weeks have been a complete whirlwind! from kicking off a new school year to attending four weddings in four weeks (two in the same weekend in different states) to simply figuring out how to have a life both here in the bay and in la. throughout it all, something that has stood out to me is the power of having a strong support system.

there are parts of my job that can be exhausting – sometimes it can be due to what is shared in session by a client and other times, it is simply due to the late hours i work being a therapist on a college campus. that being said, the older i’ve gotten, the more i’ve noticed myself prioritizing the energy that exists within my circles. it directly impacts both who i am as a person and who i am in session with my clients. i refuse to be exhausted by who i choose to spend my time with outside of work. the last five weeks have been filled with people who not only fill my tank, but people i can be unapologetically authentic with. at multiple points this past weekend, this was reiterated.

i came across this quote many moons ago however with today being one of my closest friend’s birthdays, it felt like the perfect time to share with each of you.

“in the next decade may you find people you don’t have to pretend with.” -malanda

getting to celebrate nick last night with some of his nearest and dearest was incredibly special. happy birthday, nick. thank you for being someone i never have to pretend with.

xoxo,

k.tap

thought of the week: the meaning of friendship

february 10th is one of my favorite days of the year. two of the most powerful women i’ve ever known were born today – my great grandmother (granny) and my best friend, anj aka twin.

when we met in 2010, it was odd to us that we hadn’t crossed paths before then since we had been at the same college (a small, private one) for two whole years. i am a true believer that timing is everything and like to think that anj came into my life exactly when i needed her. when we met, we were both 20. while we were definitely adults, there was so much growing to do. it has been beautiful to watch her evolve and to be able to go through my own evolution with her by my side every step of the way.

we’ve seen each other through it all. in our early 20s, it was wild nights at bars and house parties, helping each other move into new apartments and embodying the work hard/play hard mindset.

in our mid 20s, it was flying to see one another for weekends filled with quality time, music festivals and supporting one another through promotions at work and graduations.

in our late 20s, it was being present for the big life shifts – celebrating love and honoring those we’ve lost.

in our early 30s, it has been welcoming in new life (both human and fur babies included) and learning the importance of investing in ourselves (mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally).

across our 12 years together, you manage to ALWAYS show up. anj, you might only be three days older than me but i get the pleasure of learning from you every single day. sometimes, i struggle to explain just what you mean to me. however, i came across this quote back in december and saved it for today:

“friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. it’s not something you learn in school. but if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” -muhammad ali

when i stop and think of what it means to have friends who have become family, anj is the very first person to come to mind. happy birthday, twin! i love you endlessly.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: you make my life shine undeniably brighter

today, my godsister turned 31. for those of you who are new here, my godsister is quite literally my oldest friend. we are five months and 11 days apart. my mom cut her umbilical cord. i have no working memories that do not include her.

i saw a quote today from yung pueblo that captured my love and gratitude for her perfectly.

my thought of the week is one that i have had for as long as i can remember. @yung_pueblo hit the nail on the head when talking about friendship.

“some friends deserve a whole chapter in the story of your life. things wouldn’t be as good if they had not been around to support you through unbearable storms and to tell you those few hard truths that helped your evolution. their essential light made your life shine undeniably brighter.”

you’ve been there through every storm and my life is brighter because of you. happy birthday, godsister.