Tag: friendship

thought of the week: thank you for loving each version of me

last week, my very first college roommate turned best friend, turned 35. marilena was someone i immediately clicked with and i felt so grateful to be randomly paired with someone perfectly suited for me. to be honest, when i think back to our hall freshman year, it was filled to the brim with people i feel so blessed to know and love. now that marilena is back in the bay, we did a weekend of celebrating and it was the best.

on friday, marilena, makensy, jackie and i circled back to glow to make candles and it was so much fun.

makensy’s tile setup

after glow, we went to dinner at zazil on santana row. the drink that we had to have more than one of was the pintado de rosa. there is something about the balance of the fresh strawberry puree with the citrus and tequila that is just next level.

pintado de rosa

on saturday, marilena’s family hosted a dinner party for about 15 of us with the most delicious traditional mexican food and great cocktails. while we ended up at a bar after dinner and makensy and i kept marilena and jared up for hours once returning to their home, my favorite part of the night was when all of the women were gathered in one room after dinner. sonya (marilena’s cousin) spoke about what marilena meant to her and how wonderful it is to go from having marilena be her flower girl to them being friends as adults. sonya opened up the floor for many of us to share. a theme i couldn’t help but notice as women across generations spoke about marilena is how she has encouraged growth in each of us – we are all better for knowing her. there were many points where i glanced across the room at marilena, makensy and jackie and was in disbelief that this september will mark SEVENTEEN years of us knowing and loving one another. when i think of who we each were when walking into santa clara’s campus as 17 and 18 year olds, it is truly wild. in taking time to think of the plethora of versions of each of us that have existed between then and now, it is heartwarming to know that the love and connection has just grown deeper. while it isn’t a guarantee, it is true for us and made me think of this quote i stumbled across back in january:

there is something so beautiful about having long-term friends that have witnessed multiple versions of you and loved you unconditionally through each version.

man. nothing compares to being loved unconditionally by people who have seen you at your highest of highs and lowest of lows. marilena has truly seen me through it all and has taught me how to not only show up for others, but how to show up for myself. that isn’t something i take for granted.

marilena + me at mumm napa

on sunday, marilena, makensy and i did a day trip to napa. we started at domaine carneros, swung over to madonna estate, all toasted to marilena and our 17 year anniversary at mumm and wrapped with dinner at rh yountville.

sparkling flight – domaine carneros
pinot noir flight – domaine carneros

the weekend was jam packed and i wouldn’t change a thing. i was reminded all weekend why these women are part of my chosen family.

tell me about someone who has loved you unconditionally through many versions of you!

xoxo,

k. tap

34.

each year, i select a word as my theme for my personal new year. after much reflection, going into 34, i chose my word: calm.

with every curveball thrown my way during 33, i focused on “controlling the controllables” (as my coach from grit and gratitude fitness frequently reminds me to do) and something i realized now more than ever is the importance of remaining calm no matter the intensity of the storm. it has served me incredibly well.

during 33, my word of the year was reciprocity. while i could only fit 10 photos on instagram (i was certain to include more here), everyone that helped me celebrate (whether it was in bottle service, at a boozy brunch, over a spectacular dinner or in napa) reiterated the importance of reciprocal relationships and aid in me being my calmest self.

on friday, the 9th, i was determined to dip back into bay area night life. dancing all night at nova in san jose followed by late night nachos at la vic’s brought me back to my early 20s. 10 out of 10 would recommend.

saturday, the 10th, was so life giving. we did a bottomless mimosa brunch at straits followed by espresso martinis at el jardin. for any of you that are new to my love languages, words of affirmation is pretty low on the list. i used to cringe when receiving them and have worked extensively on being better at just being open to being loved out loud. i wasn’t ready for when theo had each person go around and say their favorite thing about me. it definitely got emotional for many – i wouldn’t change a fucking thing.

sunday, the 11th, was so damn sweet. i did a solo coffee date with my twin, anj. next, we did a girly brunch in livermore followed by wine tasting at concannon. i wrapped the day with anj at her bff’s house (blythe is the best host!) and got to spend some time with my nephew.

monday, one of my oldest friends booked a reservation at my family’s favorite steakhouse without even knowing that info ahead of time. if you haven’t been to mastro’s, run – don’t walk. anthony knocked it out of the park.

i kicked off my actual birthday on tuesday, the 13th, with coffee with my fellow therapist and soul sister, jaclyn and her youngest son. it was the perfect start to the day. i ended with a late night happy hour at yard house with a coworker turned friend, wilson.

i wrapped up the celebrations on presidents’ day in napa with my fellow aquarian queen and a couple of our girls. we started off with brunch at rh yountville followed by wine tasting at mumm, madonna estate and domaine carneros. we wrapped the day at celadon for dinner. it was truly the perfect day.

few things compare to entering my big diesel year (for my fellow lakers fans) surrounded by being loved in my love languages (quality time and acts of service) and feeling more grounded than i ever have in my adult life.

what is your theme word for your current year of life? or perhaps, your next year of life?

thank you for all of the wonderful birthday wishes – i truly love you all.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: say, “i love you”

happy monday! this month, my spirit has been filled with so much love and joy that i could have literally burst. in recapping our birthdays, anj (who i also refer to as “twin”) and i couldn’t help but think about how grateful we both were for the ways in which our friends showed up for us. while i plan on posting a full birthday recap along with my theme for 34 on the last day of this month, i thought it was fitting that i stumbled across this quote on anj’s birthday a couple of weeks ago (on the 10th).

“dear me, say ‘i love you’ to your friends sincerely and often. love, me”

while words of affirmation are something i have to consciously work at, something i have gotten great at over the years is telling my friends that i love them. whether they are leaving my apartment, we are hanging up a facetime call or we are hugging each other before leaving a restaurant, i make sure to tell my friends i love them. i want them to know how much they mean to me, what they bring to my life and that i do not take them or their presence for granted. in many ways, my blog post on thursday will be a love letter to myself for making it through 33 and to my friends for walking alongside me the entire way. i couldn’t love them more.

when is the last time you told the members of your inner circle you loved them? and no, i don’t just mean on their birthdays or when a tragedy has taken place – how often do you tell your friends you love them? call or text a friend that you love tomorrow and share this with them. tell me how it goes!

xoxo,

k. tap

christmas cocktails with kristin

my favorite part of this holiday season was hosting some amazing women for a little holiday get together i called “christmas cocktails with kristin” – it was a blast! while typically not a christmas girlie, i wanted to create some festive spirit since i knew i’d be helping to care for my dad over thanksgiving week. it was the best decision i could have made. there is absolutely nothing wrong with creating your own joy.

my little tabletop tree

i found the cute little gift bags (filled with prizes for our game winners), the sign and the christmas candle at hobby lobby. while visiting anj in washington the week before, i was able to find the bulk of what i needed for the party for under $60! truly unreal.

mimosa bar with cranberry blood orange + white cranberry juice options; a holiday punch with cranberry, pineapple, vodka and club soda; red sangria with a cabernet and bourbon + white sangria with a sauvignon blanc and vodka

i love having options for beverages and know that people gravitate towards different things. i wanted the girls to be able to customize their mimosas – maybe you want a lot of juice or maybe you just want enough to change the color. with them being able to pour it themselves versus it being premixed, that was more than doable. a few of my friends get headaches from champagne/sparkling wine so i also did two sangrias and a spiked holiday punch. all were enjoyed!

hot cocoa bar with marshmallows, peppermint crunch, sprinkles, original whipped cream and peppermint whipped cream

for the girls looking for a cozy beverage or a little something sweet, the hot chocolate bar was a hit. while i prefer my hot chocolate with milk, i used this hot water dispenser instead because lactose is not everyone’s friend. the girls being able to add as little or as much cocoa as they wanted was definitely the move.

the girlies 🎄🥂

i wanted everyone to be comfortable so we all wore our favorite christmas pajamas. my little sleep shirt is from asos. while we couldn’t all fit on the photo wall at once, it definitely worked in pairs/trios. reens covered the wall in a festive wrapping paper the night before the party (along with making my place look more festive as a whole).

your therapists need to have fun, too!
bagel bar, charcuterie boards and red velvet cupcakes

i like the idea of being able to graze, especially when not having formal place settings for each person. this allowed for just that.

christmas cookie decorating

the cookie decorating contest was hilarious and made me feel like a little kid again. i bought this set at target that included all pre baked cookies along with icing pens and sprinkles. we may or may not have borrowed some toppings from the hot chocolate bar for a little extra flair.

more than anything, i just loved having so many of my favorite women in one place. the holidays can be so tough, especially for those of us who have experienced a significant amount of grief and loss. this felt like a chance to make the holiday season feel more joyous and to do it on my own terms. 10 out of 10 would recommend if you are looking to reclaim the holiday season.

what was your favorite part about the holiday season? i hope that there was at least one part that made you smile like this.

wifey + me

xoxo,

k.tap

cento

hey! i hope each of you enjoyed your thanksgiving week (if you celebrate) and spent time with those you love most eating something absolutely delightful. thanksgiving looked different for me this year for a variety of reasons but primarily because i have been at the hospital around the clock with my dad, who underwent a stem cell transplant (expect a full rundown in the coming weeks about all of the many layers). one of the limitations is not being able to have any food that is not prepared at the hospital or by me in our hotel suite due to his nonexistent immune system. with him barely having tastebuds and being limited on what sits well on his stomach, there wasn’t the traditional thanksgiving dinner (filled with many of my favorite soul food dishes). maybe it is because i am craving a great meal out, missing my friends and feeling grateful to the many members of my chosen family that offered to have a thanksgiving spread delivered (before they knew about the restrictions), i found myself thinking about this phenomenal italian restaurant alan and i went to last month. let me introduce you to: cento.

alan had been RAVING about cento for months. we had been trying to go together but life was a little too chaotic AND for awhile, they were closed on mondays so we struggled a bit. let me tell you this – the wait was absolutely worth it. there was not a single thing we consumed that i would not give at least a 9.5 out of 10. let me walk you through our dining experience:

hamachi crudo
endive caesar

the hamachi? melted like literal butter. the endive caesar? simple and flavor packed, especially with the hint of tarragon. one of the reasons alan is in my top five favorite people to dine with is because we have such similar palettes. it is an added bonus that the conversation is consistently captivating. that being said, we frequently get to sample more of the menu because we can share various dishes (like the two above). for our main courses, we both committed to pasta dishes.

spicy pomodoro
bolognese

alan couldn’t get enough of his spicy pomodoro. he was surprised i didn’t order it because of my deep love for all things spicy however, i just couldn’t pass up a ricotta gnocchi with a 28-month parmesan and cream. i had zero regrets. because their menu is constantly changing, alan’s pasta above is not currently available however, my bolognese is so run to get your bowl!

we were between a few different options for dessert. one of the only areas where alan and i differ is there is no such thing as too much chocolate for him. that certainly is not the case for me. one that spoke to us both was the date cake and our server highly recommended it.

date cake
a very belated birthday celebration 🤎

the date cake is something i literally dream about. who doesn’t love caramel, pecan and crème fraiche ice cream? alan had been to cento at least a dozen times and had never tried it. from now on, it is a MUST.

with me being a planner, there were bonus points given for being able to make a reservation, valet parking and being seated upon arrival (even though alan hadn’t arrived yet). i am already anxiously awaiting my next visit and cannot speak highly enough about the quality of service, the ambiance (would be a great space for a private event), the attention to detail with every dish and how heavenly the entire meal was from start to finish. if you find yourself in la, make a reservation at cento.

xoxo,

k. tap