hi lovelies! i hope that your summer is off to a wonderful start. it is hard to put into words how good it feels to be able to tap into this creative side of mine.
my favorite day of the summer is july 24th and it has been since i knew what a calendar was because it is my godsister’s birthday. for those of you that are new here, crystal and i have been friends since birth (my mom convinced a few of her friends to have babies at the same time as her so i could have playmates). my mom is her godmother and her mom is mine. it only seems right for my first thought of the week in months to be about sisterhood – without crystal, i wouldn’t know the meaning of it.
february 1991 – crystal and i at my first birthday “sisterhood is holding space for one another to be our full selves — whatever that looks like. messy or not. it’s loving each other while we figure life out.” -ashley hobbs
my godsister has had this magical way of meeting me exactly where i am. when we were kids, it came in the form of supporting my bizarre interests and hobbies (like playing in a competitive handbell choir). in our teens, it was being a place of refuge when i was feeling misunderstood and when it was time for me to go to college, it was making the trek up north to move me in. in our 20s, it was walking alongside me through grief, scary medical procedures and returning back to an la i didn’t recognize without my grandmother in it. in our 30s, it has been supporting me as i support others and encouraging me to prioritize myself unapologetically.
june 2023 – me and my godsister at her mom’s 60th
it hasn’t just been the dark times she has seen me through – it is the three hour facetimes filled with laughter, the dinners that turn into six hours together but feel like six minutes, the girls trips, the family parties, the celebrating every single win together as if we both hit lotto – my godsister reminds me daily that i am rich in sisterhood. thank you for loving me fully, even when i am messy.
how rare and beautiful to be loved exactly as i am while also being inspired to be better and better because of how magical she is.
september 2023 – my godsister and me at my mom’s 60th
happy 35th to my first ride or die – i love you so much, godsister.
who in your life has taught you about sisterhood? have you told her how much you love and appreciate her lately?
today is one of my favorite days of the year – it’s my wifey’s birthday!
reens + me
reens (maureen) and i met back in 2013 while working at acura. both of us were pursuing degrees – reens was in undergrad and i was in grad school. we joke around about how i really was not looking for any new friends however with her being just as beautiful inside as she is outside, it was impossible not to fall in love with her. we eventually left acura and stayed in touch throughout. it was an added bonus when we found ourselves working at honda together. it was almost eery to be able to work and communicate so seamlessly with someone – it is like we would read each other’s minds.
as if 25-30 hours a week together at work wasn’t enough, we found ourselves doing weekly wine nights, brunches on weekends we weren’t working and traveling together (including a vegas trip we planned for a dozen people where i was there for less than 12 hours before going back to work 🙃). reens helped plan my surprise going away party in 2017 before i moved back to la and even with me being away from the bay, we didn’t skip a beat. when she left the bay to move to chicago for grad school, we really just showed that long distance is doable if you’re down to do the work. never in a million years did i imagine we would both be back in the bay in our 30s but man – i am so happy we are together again. and yesterday, eight of us got together to celebrate our favorite girl.
birthday brunch for reens!
during brunch, i asked everyone to think about their favorite quality and/or memory of reens they would like to share to commemorate the first 32 years of her life and to usher in a wonderful 33rd year (this was initiated by one of my best friends, theo, at my 34th birthday and it was such an unexpected treat). as the seven of us went around sharing what we loved most about reens, there was definitely some overlap in what was vocalized from what a great host she is to how her smile lights up any space she enters to her unparalleled energy – just to name a few. one of the things that stood out the most to me was the way we each talked about how reens has shown up for each of us without hesitation, even when life was throwing curveballs in her direction. when i came across this quote today, it seemed like it was meant for reens (and for my first blog back in months!):
“its about who stands in the rain with you, when they also have a choice to be dry. remember that.”
be sure you choose people who value reciprocity and who are willing to stand in the rain with you.
today marks seven years since the passing of connie jean garrison or as many of you have heard me affectionately call her, grammy.
grammy and me – 1991
since my grandmother left this earth, i have found that my body tends to have a visceral reaction to the month of may. as april comes to a close, i will begin to feel ill and by the time may hits, it often feels like too much to handle – her anniversary on the 7th, mother’s day the second sunday of the month and papa’s (my grandfather’s) birthday on the 17th. the trifecta really isn’t the vibe. this year was the very first one where that dread wasn’t present. i tried to think of why that could be and i realized it isn’t one thing in particular but a combination of many things.
i see my grandmother often – in a piece of art hanging in my bedroom that she gave to me, whenever i see rich hues of purple, in the white cross in misu’s coat, whenever i see 6:30 on the clock (her birthday was june 30th), when someone says i feel like home to them, whenever i host an event, when dmx comes on shuffle, whenever i bake something sweet for someone i love, when i get a great deal while shopping, when i walk through the rose garden on campus at scu, when dreaming (while asleep or awake) and honestly, at some point each and every single day. after turning 34, i realized that i see her most in myself with each passing year.
while i have always believed in spirits, i will say this has increased exponentially since grammy passed. in spring of 2021, i had a powerful reading with an extraordinary psychic/medium, cassidy rey. during the reading, grammy came through and she was quite vocal. the two messages that stood out the most to me during that reading were about my future children and my health. i have said forever that i know i am meant to be a mom, even if it means i do it alone. i have wondered what that journey might look like for me. my grandmother said that my children are currently with her and she would send them to me when i was ready. the irony? at that time, cassidy did not have children. currently? cassidy is expecting her first child and she will be raising him solo. in regards to my health, grammy told cassidy i was going to be getting incredibly sick and that the best thing i could do was increase my physical activity. she acknowledged seeing me putting in the work but said i needed to do more. i had just began training twice a week with grit and gratitude fitness in mid march. this reading was in may. in june, i increased my sessions to four times a month and added in a fifth day of activity (swimming for one hour). in august of 2021, i got one of the worst cases of covid i’ve ever heard of from anyone that lived to tell the tale. i was in the hospital for about five weeks, was on a ventilator for 17 days and had to learn how to do basic things like how to walk or even hold a fork again. when i woke up from my coma, the doctor expressed that with the tons of cases of covid he saw in icu, it wasn’t age, vaccination status, bmi or preexisting conditions that determined whether or not someone made it out – it was if they had been physically active for at least the last 90 days. grammy came to visit me while i was in my coma and told me i couldn’t come back here to visit her – that she would come see me. she kept repeating that over and over again. when i woke up and was told about how i nearly died, i immediately realized what she meant. i also couldn’t help but think of my reading with cassidy and how the messages she delivered urged me to double down on taking my health seriously and how angel (my trainer) helped facilitate that journey.
this year, i feel the healthiest and strongest i have in my adult life. i know wholeheartedly that i am currently the version of myself grammy would be most proud of because i am creating the life i have always wanted for myself without apology and without wavering. that is something she did at an early age and far before women were praised for creating their own happiness even if taking an alternate route to get there. when in doubt, i frequently ask myself: what would grammy do? as i’ve gotten older, i feel her with me as i am making pivotal decisions. there is nothing more peaceful than that. while i used to dread may, specifically the seventh, this seventh anniversary has proven to be the best one yet.
if you are looking to connect with a loved one or simply find out more about your path, definitely connect with cassidy rey. if you have questions, don’t hesitate to ask me. this post isn’t sponsored – it is just something that was on my heart to share on the anniversary of my favorite girl in the world.
last week, my very first college roommate turned best friend, turned 35. marilena was someone i immediately clicked with and i felt so grateful to be randomly paired with someone perfectly suited for me. to be honest, when i think back to our hall freshman year, it was filled to the brim with people i feel so blessed to know and love. now that marilena is back in the bay, we did a weekend of celebrating and it was the best.
on friday, marilena, makensy, jackie and i circled back to glow to make candles and it was so much fun.
makensy’s tile setup
after glow, we went to dinner at zazil on santana row. the drink that we had to have more than one of was the pintado de rosa. there is something about the balance of the fresh strawberry puree with the citrus and tequila that is just next level.
pintado de rosa
on saturday, marilena’s family hosted a dinner party for about 15 of us with the most delicious traditional mexican food and great cocktails. while we ended up at a bar after dinner and makensy and i kept marilena and jared up for hours once returning to their home, my favorite part of the night was when all of the women were gathered in one room after dinner. sonya (marilena’s cousin) spoke about what marilena meant to her and how wonderful it is to go from having marilena be her flower girl to them being friends as adults. sonya opened up the floor for many of us to share. a theme i couldn’t help but notice as women across generations spoke about marilena is how she has encouraged growth in each of us – we are all better for knowing her. there were many points where i glanced across the room at marilena, makensy and jackie and was in disbelief that this september will mark SEVENTEEN years of us knowing and loving one another. when i think of who we each were when walking into santa clara’s campus as 17 and 18 year olds, it is truly wild. in taking time to think of the plethora of versions of each of us that have existed between then and now, it is heartwarming to know that the love and connection has just grown deeper. while it isn’t a guarantee, it is true for us and made me think of this quote i stumbled across back in january:
there is something so beautiful about having long-term friends that have witnessed multiple versions of you and loved you unconditionally through each version.
man. nothing compares to being loved unconditionally by people who have seen you at your highest of highs and lowest of lows. marilena has truly seen me through it all and has taught me how to not only show up for others, but how to show up for myself. that isn’t something i take for granted.
marilena + me at mumm napa
on sunday, marilena, makensy and i did a day trip to napa. we started at domaine carneros, swung over to madonna estate, all toasted to marilena and our 17 year anniversary at mumm and wrapped with dinner at rh yountville.
happy monday! this month, my spirit has been filled with so much love and joy that i could have literally burst. in recapping our birthdays, anj (who i also refer to as “twin”) and i couldn’t help but think about how grateful we both were for the ways in which our friends showed up for us. while i plan on posting a full birthday recap along with my theme for 34 on the last day of this month, i thought it was fitting that i stumbled across this quote on anj’s birthday a couple of weeks ago (on the 10th).
“dear me, say ‘i love you’ to your friends sincerely and often. love, me”
while words of affirmation are something i have to consciously work at, something i have gotten great at over the years is telling my friends that i love them. whether they are leaving my apartment, we are hanging up a facetime call or we are hugging each other before leaving a restaurant, i make sure to tell my friends i love them. i want them to know how much they mean to me, what they bring to my life and that i do not take them or their presence for granted. in many ways, my blog post on thursday will be a love letter to myself for making it through 33 and to my friends for walking alongside me the entire way. i couldn’t love them more.
when is the last time you told the members of your inner circle you loved them? and no, i don’t just mean on their birthdays or when a tragedy has taken place – how often do you tell your friends you love them? call or text a friend that you love tomorrow and share this with them. tell me how it goes!
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