in my early 20s, i viewed self love as something that needed to be tackled all at one time. i wondered how so many people seemed to love every single piece of themselves. while going through my counseling psych program and living, learning and loving through my mid 20s, i realized that it is not only a lifelong process – it is something that needs to be done in steps.
have you ever made a to do list with so many action items on it that you just sat the list down and walked far away…to the other side of the room…and snuggled up on your couch/in your bed? that is what would happen when i was trying to figure out how to love myself more. the list seemed too daunting.
what ended up being helpful for me was tackling one thing at a time. i asked myself what truly made me happy. i did an inventory of the things and people in my life where i invested the bulk of my time. i realized anything that wasn’t reciprocal wasn’t healthy. my late 20s were filled with many difficult conversations and come to jesus moments but here is what i can say about 30: i have never felt better about the people in my life, the path i am on in my career, the things i have modified to prioritize my health and the ease i feel when saying no to things/people/situations that don’t suit me.
this quote sums up where i currently am perfectly:
“when i loved myself enough, i began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. this meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. my judgement called it disloyal. now i see it as self-loving.” -kim mcmillen
don’t allow you definition of loyalty to keep you from your healthiest and happiest you.