Author: keep up with k.tap

thought of the week: the answer is obvious

even as a child, i was action oriented.  yes, i have great listening skills and that is part of why being a therapist comes naturally to me.  however, part of being an active listener is paying attention to other cues.  to me, a great listener is also an astute observer.  that being said, actions cannot be ignored.

 

the older i get, the more this rings true.  having turned 30 last week really reiterated the things i prioritize and one of them is not having to have the same conversations with people repeatedly.  someone can apologize over and over again but if there is no shift in their actions, are they really sorry?

 

that brings me to my thought of the week:

 

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“the answer is in how they treat you, not what they say.”

 

it really could not be more simple.

 

so ask yourself: if you are having issues with a loved one, are you paying attention to more than what they say, but their actions?  what are their actions telling you?

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

 

all (rose) gold everything

hi lovelies!

 

today’s post is short and sweet.  if you follow me on instagram, you know that i was in vegas the last four days celebrating my 30th birthday with about 30 of my closest friends and family members.  while i am going to do a full recap later this week (because it definitely requires more thought and energy than i have at the moment), i have not stopped getting dms about my wardrobe from the weekend.

 

even though i loved my outfits each night for different reasons, the most popular seems to be this rose gold, full sequined number from asos by john zack (courtesy of my great friends, reens and sam).

 

*pictured above with my dear friend, jess (who should honestly run her own blog seeing as how her fashion sense, design aesthetic, love for travel and commitment to health & wellness are on another level)

 

the dress was originally $103 (which was totally worth every penny considering the statement it makes) but is currently on sale for $82!

 

whether you have a party to attend or just want to feel extra pretty on a date or girls night out, this is definitely something that would spice up your wardrobe.

 

xoxo,

k. tap

this is 30.

i cannot believe i am 30 or that every adult when i was younger was absolutely telling the truth when they warned me about how each year picked up pace as we got older.

i thought about making this post one that was fuzzy and warm but that wouldn’t have been fully me. so instead, i am going to share 30 life lessons that i will carry into my 30s to make this decade the best one yet.

1. authenticity is underrated.

2. no two people handle grief the same way and that is OKAY.

3. “no.” truly is a full fucking sentence.

4. there is no need to feel guilt around saying “no.” to someone you love because that likely means you are saying “yes.” to you.

5. the five people you are closest to serve as mirrors – do you like what you see? if not, time to change up the starting five.

6. gratitude is something to practice regularly. daily, i jot down three things i am grateful for. i haven’t had a day yet where i couldn’t list three things and that has been an eye opener.

7. work hard, play just as hard.

8. that being said, do not rely on luck. hustling is not negotiable if you want to be successful.

9. do something once per week that is completely selfish – it pays to have something to look forward to.

10. busyness is not an indicator of success. what are you spending your time on?

11. do not bring more baggage into a relationship than you can comfortably carry.

12. do not enter a relationship with someone that expects you to carry their baggage.

13. vulnerability is strength.

14. friends are the family you choose.

15. all good relationships have healthy boundaries.

16. age is not indicative of maturity.

17. self care is more than bubble baths and manicures – be sure that you are not ignoring your mental and emotional health.

18. while your friends, family and partner(s) are your support system, they have limits to the amount of space they can hold for you. even therapists have therapists.

19. for every action, there is a reaction that you do not get to dictate.

20. your dreams don’t have to make sense to anyone but you.

21. you regularly show people how to treat you, even without words.

22. check in on your strong friends. they are tired even if you cannot tell.

23. don’t punish people for not showing up for you if you have not communicated what showing up for you looks like.

24. pour into people who pour into you.

25. you don’t ever get over the loss of someone, you just learn to live with/work through it.

26. love on your inner circle in their preferred love language(s).

27. words mean nothing without action.

28. you are more than your job/career.

29. when questioning whether or not you are treating yourself with the love and respect you deserve, ask yourself what advice you would give to your best friend if in the same situation. whatever your answer is, channel that inward. be one of your own best friends.

30. life is short and unpredictable so give people their flowers while they are still here to enjoy them.

and to all of you who reached out today, thank you so much for all of the birthday wishes. it is greatly appreciated and made my heart warm.

to see what i am up to in vegas this weekend, check out my instagram stories.

cheers to the next 30 🥂.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: the importance of healing

with valentine’s day being just around the corner, love is definitely on the brain.  interestingly enough, when i think of valentine’s day, i do not just think about love in the romantic sense – i think about love between friends and family as well.

 

what does love mean to you?  merriam webster has several definitions but the two i gravitate towards are: 1. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties, 2. warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion.  both definitions are simple yet beautiful and tug at my heartstrings.

 

as i do with most things, i started to think about my clients.  specifically, the ones who seem nearly unable or incapable of receiving love from another, no matter the nature of the relationship.  it is something that is heartbreaking to witness but happens more often than you’d think.  i came across this quote and couldn’t resist sharing it.

 

 

“heal, so when someone tells you they love you, you may allow yourself to believe them.”

 

so many of my clients who come to my office unable to accept love are in that space because they have not gone through the healing process from previous traumas with people who may have said they loved them but did not really know how to love them in the way they needed to be loved.  unfortunately, it is not on the other party to do or help facilitate that healing.  it is up to each person to do their healing individually.

 

part of why that healing is so crucial is because we want to be able to open ourselves up to people deserving of our love.  this does not mean we are naive and simply accept any love someone is offering if it is not love that suits us.  however, it does mean that we are simply seeing love with a new lens and not completely ruling it out because of previous experiences that did not go according to plan.

 

do you believe it when someone tells you they love you? have you done your healing?  if not, are you willing to start?

 

happy (early) valentine’s day – i love you.

 

xoxo,

k. tap

queensview steakhouse (at parkers’ lighthouse)

the last few days have been filled with early birthday celebrations as i gear up for the big 3-0 this thursday.  while i will be in vegas to turn up for a few days, some of my friends who cannot attend made a point to schedule time to get together beforehand.  rebecca is one of those thoughtful humans and our dinner friday was one for the books.

 

we went to queensview steakhouse at parkers’ lighthouse in long beach – it sits right on the water and even at night, the views were breathtaking.

 

something i love is attention to detail.  even with us being 15 minutes early, our table was waiting for us with a handwritten card from the staff wishing me a happy birthday.  it really was such a sweet touch.

 

for drinks, i started with the mandarin in bloom (ketel orange, st. germain, lemon, sprite, micro-citrus greens) and it was crisp, subtly sweet and refreshing.  the first was so good that i had to have another.

 

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rebecca and i shared a lobster roll before our main entrees arrived and it was served with this decadent garlic butter dipping sauce.  truly to die for.

 

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for our main courses, i got the ribeye (which was so huge that i had to take half home which i am not complaining about) and rebecca got the filet.  both were incredibly tender, juicy and flavorful.

 

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to accompany the steaks, we ordered brussel sprouts and lobster mac & cheese.  the brussel sprouts were topped with bacon and gorgonzola cheese.  i honestly could have had each side as a stand alone meal.

 

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we knew we were going to split a dessert and were trying to choose between the butter cake and the creme brûlée – since we could not make a decision, we asked our waiter and he said the butter cake was his favorite.  imagine our surprise when he brings the butter cake AND the creme brûlée with a candle in it?!  seriously, a gem.  the butter cake had this delicious streusel, fresh strawberries, a berry puree and vanilla bean ice cream.  the creme brûlée was topped with a few raspberries and was delightful.

 

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i still cannot believe that we stumbled upon this place due to an opentable recommendation.  we are already planning to return in april for rebecca’s birthday.

 

if you are looking for a great steakhouse with outstanding customer service, an awesome fresh seafood selection, refreshing cocktails, decadent food and desserts that make you feel like you have died and gone to heaven, make a reservation at queensview steakhouse.  the live jazz band was just an added bonus.

 

xoxo,

k. tap