Tag: aquarius

36.

maybe it is because i am putting finishing touches on my 37th birthday trip to bali or maybe it is because it truly was one of my favorite weekends of 2026 but i know one thing – my 36th birthday celebration deserved a post all of its own.

a theme each year around my birthday is gratitude. it is rare to have so many of my favorite people in one place so naturally, it felt extra special to have people who have known me since birth dancing alongside people who have entered my orbit in my 30s. one thing is for certain: vegas owes us nothing.

before recapping the weekend in its entirety, it has to be said that there is something extra amazing about feeling your best when ushering in a new year and part of that is looking your best. i was obsessed with my outfits, hair and grateful to have been experiencing a good skin week. it really is the little things.

my rules when planning a group trip are simple:

  1. have only one or two events that are mandatory and outside of that, allow people to opt in as it suits them
  2. be intentional about who is invited – it only takes one bad apple to fuck up the barrel
  3. have a balance of daytime and evening activities – not everyone is a morning person and not everyone can party until 3am
  4. give ample notice when extending invites – people need time to budget, schedule and prep
  5. scheduling in solo down time if you are an introvert like me (even if it is an extended soak in the tub each day) is absolutely crucial in order to show up as the best host possible

driving in from la is always easy when going to vegas and allows me to bring as many things as i want. this is especially important when hosting because I want everyone to have yummy things to snack on and delicious cocktails to enjoy at any point of the day or night. we arrived on friday which was my actual birthday. i was excited as this was the night roughly 20 of us were going to be celebrating with people traveling in from as far as atlanta (shout out to my girl, joss) and people ranging from 30s to 60s (shout out to my mom, godmother and cousin val who all were dropping it in the club as if meg the stallion birthed them).

we spent friday night at liv (located in fontainebleau) and got to see mario perform. he has PIPES. it was important to me that my mom and the aunties were present on a night where there would be r&b accompanying all the club bangers. a. time. was. had.

saturday, we did brunch at brewdog las vegas. it was important to me to do something casual, cost friendly and where people could pay separately as some people were going to be heading directly to the airport whereas others were going to be in town until monday or tuesday. the ambiance was great – it was airy, lively, good music (and at a volume where we could still hear one another), bomb food and lemon drops that i am still dreaming about. you can make a reservation on opentable for up to 20 people!

after brunch, a few of us hit chanel because michele had been eyeing a bag for years and decided this was the trip to bite the bullet. the store and entire shopping experience was an absolute vibe. when i am ready for my first chanel (manifesting that for 2027), this will be the location i choose for certain.

saturday night may have been a smaller group but trust me when i tell you that we partied as if there were still 20 of us. 10 of us circled back to liv. while i typically do not repeat the same club two nights in a row, once i saw the kehlani was the performer for valentine’s day, there is no other place i wanted to be. who was going to say “no” to seeing her serenade us with “folded” live?!

to say i was beat on sunday would be an understatement. that is when having an amazing hotel suite and even more amazing friends comes in handy. i did not leave my suite, stayed in pajamas all day and hosted those that wanted to socialize for a boozy game night in. uno feels elevated when on the las vegas strip. a sushi dinner on the couch with champagne was divine – shout out to my car business boo, leroy, for treating the entire group.

while the remainder of friends left monday, my mom and i stayed until tuesday. monday and tuesday were the ultimate mommy and me days. we shared meals, laughter, deep conversations, carpool karaoke sessions, blackjack hands and enough peach bellinis to fill a hot tub with.

each year, i pick a theme word or phrase. 35 was about surrendering while 34 focused on calm…you get the picture. for 36, the theme has been: flow.

flowing not forcing.

as a recovering control freak, it can be difficult to let things flow and not force square pegs into round holes. 36 has been about allowing things to flow, not punishing myself when things do not according to plan and being able to pivot as needed. it has allowed me to be more grateful for the life i am currently living, not just the one i am building.

i cannot wait to ring in 37 in bali with loved ones.

xoxo,

your favorite aquarius

35.

for years, i have selected a word as my personal theme. at 34, my word was calm. i think i nearly mastered it. for 35, i chose: surrender.

the art of surrender isn’t defeat, giving up or powerlessness. to surrender is choosing acceptance over resistance, appreciation over expectations and flexibility over foolishness.

as someone who has historically struggled with needing to be in control, i knew this wouldn’t be an easy feat. even still, i was also confident i could remain calm when things became turbulent. the universe has a funny way of testing us as my life more or less blew up at the start of february. luckily, i had a trip to the dominican republic with 20 of my favorite humans to planned. i highly recommend getting people together to celebrate your trips around the sun in big and small ways.

reuniting with the girls after check-in

when traveling with groups, i believe in a balance of planned fun and leisure time. i asked everyone to be at a cocktail party —> dinner one night and invited anyone interested on a boat for a sunday funday. any other time, i would send a broadcast via paperless post so people knew where to find me at the resort. it was honestly so easy and there is nothing i love more than having so many of my loved ones in one place. below are some photos of those in between moments.

for the cocktail party and dinner, i asked everyone to wear black and/or white (as most have that in their closet). this was the first time all of us had been in the same place and it was such a blast.

and for the sunday funday on the boat, to say a time was had would be a gross understatement. there are three things that are ALWAYS worth saying yes to: a day on the water in the sunshine, an open bar and the additional cost for a photographer.

while there were hiccups with our travel agent, the resort was top notch, the weather was beautiful, the people present to celebrate me were extraordinary and the love i felt is immeasurable. arriving to the dominican republic already having the mindset of surrendering made the trip exponentially more enjoyable. when i think of the rollercoaster that 35 has been so far, surrendering was the only way to not just make it, but enjoy it.

i am already brainstorming for 36.

xoxo,

k. tap

34.

each year, i select a word as my theme for my personal new year. after much reflection, going into 34, i chose my word: calm.

with every curveball thrown my way during 33, i focused on “controlling the controllables” (as my coach from grit and gratitude fitness frequently reminds me to do) and something i realized now more than ever is the importance of remaining calm no matter the intensity of the storm. it has served me incredibly well.

during 33, my word of the year was reciprocity. while i could only fit 10 photos on instagram (i was certain to include more here), everyone that helped me celebrate (whether it was in bottle service, at a boozy brunch, over a spectacular dinner or in napa) reiterated the importance of reciprocal relationships and aid in me being my calmest self.

on friday, the 9th, i was determined to dip back into bay area night life. dancing all night at nova in san jose followed by late night nachos at la vic’s brought me back to my early 20s. 10 out of 10 would recommend.

saturday, the 10th, was so life giving. we did a bottomless mimosa brunch at straits followed by espresso martinis at el jardin. for any of you that are new to my love languages, words of affirmation is pretty low on the list. i used to cringe when receiving them and have worked extensively on being better at just being open to being loved out loud. i wasn’t ready for when theo had each person go around and say their favorite thing about me. it definitely got emotional for many – i wouldn’t change a fucking thing.

sunday, the 11th, was so damn sweet. i did a solo coffee date with my twin, anj. next, we did a girly brunch in livermore followed by wine tasting at concannon. i wrapped the day with anj at her bff’s house (blythe is the best host!) and got to spend some time with my nephew.

monday, one of my oldest friends booked a reservation at my family’s favorite steakhouse without even knowing that info ahead of time. if you haven’t been to mastro’s, run – don’t walk. anthony knocked it out of the park.

i kicked off my actual birthday on tuesday, the 13th, with coffee with my fellow therapist and soul sister, jaclyn and her youngest son. it was the perfect start to the day. i ended with a late night happy hour at yard house with a coworker turned friend, wilson.

i wrapped up the celebrations on presidents’ day in napa with my fellow aquarian queen and a couple of our girls. we started off with brunch at rh yountville followed by wine tasting at mumm, madonna estate and domaine carneros. we wrapped the day at celadon for dinner. it was truly the perfect day.

few things compare to entering my big diesel year (for my fellow lakers fans) surrounded by being loved in my love languages (quality time and acts of service) and feeling more grounded than i ever have in my adult life.

what is your theme word for your current year of life? or perhaps, your next year of life?

thank you for all of the wonderful birthday wishes – i truly love you all.

xoxo,

k. tap

33.

it is hard to know where to begin. so maybe we start with a photo of the finished product?

photo evidence of what it looks like when i relinquish control and let my friends show up for me – theo, i adore you.

thirty fucking three. saying 33 out loud as my age and not just pippen’s number (felecia and i just finished rewatching the last dance docuseries a couple of weeks ago) is wild. however, after how touch and go 31 was for me, i promised myself i wouldn’t just celebrate milestone birthdays. each year is worth celebrating. each day is truly a gift. theo knows this is my mindset. that’s part of why he called me out in january. well, it is more like he called me in.

theo knows i am a planner by nature. neither of us could remember the last birthday i celebrated without looping in the appropriate parties with less than 90 days notice. so imagine theo’s surprise when it was sunday, january 15th, and he had not received an invitation to anything. february 13th was just around the corner. instead of beating me up, he asked me about each area of my life. we talked about it all – family, friends, work, wellness, love life, etc. what we realized is that each area of my life seemed off balance – so much so that with the free moments i did have, i simply did not have the capacity to plan my birthday, track rsvps and show up enthusiastically. theo got quiet and said he had something to ask me. his next words were:

“kristin. i am going to propose an idea. your natural response/gut reaction will be to say no but i urge you to ‘say yes’ anyway.” i waited to what seemed like an eternity and then he said, “i want you to let me plan and host your birthday this year.”

y’all. i was FLOORED. you know the last time someone else planned a full fledged birthday party for me was? 1999. i was turning nine and mark + felecia rented out skate depot for me and all of my little fourth grade friends. every year since then, i have taken lead on this. i’ve had some great celebrations whether i kept it local in la, turned up in vegas, went wine tasting or a boozy brunch, the thing that each year had in common was spending time with people i love. even though i nearly had a stroke at the thought of letting someone else plan my birthday, i asked myself what i would tell my clients and i knew the answer: let the people who love you show up for you – there is power in relinquishing control.

i did exactly that. the rest? well, it was magic.

my mom, misu and i showed up to one of my favorite restaurants in the bay – meso mediterranean. when i arrived, not only was our private room beautifully decorated, so many people i loved from different chapters of my life were all in one space. there was no longer a need to wonder what someone they had heard many stories about was like in the flesh because they got to soak up that energy in real time.

friendships with start dates ranging from 2008 to 2016 and the thing they all have in common? being beautiful badasses.

with each table i approached, my heart bursted all over again. the love in the room was equal parts overwhelming and intoxicating.

you know when you meet someone and they instantly feel like family? that’s how it was with these two.

realizing that people had traveled up from la and down from sf/oakland/sacramento was so heartwarming.

when your old coworkers function more like sisters

theo had arranged a slideshow. it was amazing to see photos dating back from 2007 and was truly a testament to how we’ve watched each other grow up. we looked like babies because we were! being back at scu where it all began was such a full circle moment. being able to celebrate with people i met at scu whether it be in undergrad or in grad school while in reslife was incredible.

the og scu reslife crew – i married the two on the right this past fall!

seeing old and new friends laugh, toast with my mom and entertain misu while i was with each guest was the best.

my mom and many of my friends who are like her adopted children/nieces/nephews

and just when i thought i couldn’t be more grateful, theo directed our attention to the screen below. there was video after video of loved ones who couldn’t be there to celebrate but were there in spirit. many of the messages moved me to tears. oftentimes, people don’t get their flowers while they can still smell them. i was fortunate enough to get plenty (both literally and figuratively) this past weekend.

theo and evan are also the most attractive couple in the world. don’t @ me.

evan (theo’s partner) not only helped theo host but took photos of me with each of my guests and gifted me the most thoughtful card and gorgeous bouquet with sunflowers. they are on my nightstand as we speak.

while i was hesitant to be vulnerable and relinquish control, i am so glad i did. there are not enough words in the english language to thank you, theo. just know i love you so much and appreciate you yesterday, today and always.

i’d kiss you a thousand times over if i could

the icing on the cake? the party not ending until nearly 11pm and being able to laugh like this with my grad school bestie.

therapists can have fun, too!

misu being in bottle service was a life goal. it has now been fulfilled!

misu as security
misu soaking up the club vibes

kicking off 33 has highlighted the importance of practicing what i preach, remembering to pour into people who pour into me and always being grateful.

happy birthday kristin!

it truly was a happy birthday. i am looking forward to my 33rd trip around the sun.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: inspiration > comparison

february is my favorite month for many reasons. the first day of the month is misu’s birthday. i love winter. i have a deep appreciation for black history month. celebrating love is something i do regularly but valentine’s day gives me even more of a reason to do so. the three day weekend due to presidents’ day is never something i complain about. many of my favorite humans are born during the month of february, including anj (aka my twin), who is blogging alongside me at this very moment (you can check out her amazing blog here). lastly (but certainly not least), it is my birthday month.

i tend to get pretty reflective around my birthday and set intentions for the year that lies ahead. something that has continued to show up in sessions with my clients as of late is people choosing to measure their success based on how they are doing in comparison to others versus simply measuring whether they have grown in the last week/month/year. i took a step back to ask myself – is this an area of growth for me as well or is it something i’ve already mastered? what i determined was this: in my professional life, i do an exceptional job of only comparing me to me. i make a conscientious effort to continue learning new tools to share with my clients, i am unafraid of admitting when i do not know something and figure out the appropriate resources to circle back with and i can see distinct differences in the therapy i did back in 2016 as opposed to now. when it comes to my personal life, there is room for improvement. i think for many people my age, especially women, it is easy to look around at those closest to you and wonder if you are doing something wrong if your lives don’t look similar. this is especially true when it comes to marriage and children. while i think because of the way my analytical brain is set up, a little comparison may be present to some degree, the shift i noticed once approaching 30 was admiring those closest to me who had achieved something i hadn’t yet.

this quote seemed to hit the nail on the head.

“inspiration is infinitely better than comparison. let brilliant people motivate, not intimidate you.”

i am surrounded by a group of extraordinary humans. and rather than let jaclyn’s success in private practice as a licensed marriage and family therapist, melissa owning + remodeling her own home or anj’s domination of being a stay at home mom to a bright eyed little boy intimidate me, i find myself constantly being in awe. instead of being amazed silently, i often will inquire about the inner workings of how these exceptional humans are thriving in their lives. i have been encouraging my clients to do the same. inspiration is absolutely better than comparison.

do you find that you compare yourself to others or are you able to be inspired by the success others around you have?

xoxo,

k. tap