one of the many things that contributes to my house feeling like a home are candles. i’ve loved candles since i was a kid (likely because both of my parents are candle people as well). i love the cozy feeling a candle can create and how a scent can really change the vibe of a space. at the beginning of the year, my old supervisor wanted to commemorate our year working together and we talked about different activities we could do. when i mentioned loving candles, she brought up candle making. let me introduce you to: glow.
glow candle lounge
maybe you’ve heard of petroglyph? it’s a ceramic studio where you get to glaze a variety of pieces. glow is the sister studio. there is so much to love about glow. from the spacious and inviting studio to the extraordinary customer service to the variety of candles and scents that you get to choose from – there is truly something for everyone.
part of the studio glow associate wall of wax candles to create + pricing soy wax candles scents to choose from: floral, fresh, sweet + fruity, earthy
while i went with just one person in january, i hosted a birthday party for a dear friend here a couple of weeks ago. glow was able to comfortably accommodate a party of nine (i made a reservation to be safe since we were coming in on a saturday) and it was seamless. each of us were walked through a tutorial about how to build our candle and it was such a fun and relaxing experience.
i knew i was interested in a more layered look so i chose a candle mold and the appropriate number of tiles for said mold. i also selected some charms/decorations. i chose two champagne bottles to celebrate the end of the time with my previous boss. we had a lot to toast to so it seemed appropriate.
candle mold, wax, spackle and decorations breaking down the wax ready for the final step (pouring hot wax in to fill the spaces)this step is done by an associate
the following day, i swung by the studio to pick up our pieces. they turned out wonderfully!
final product!boss’s final product
when at glow a couple of weeks ago, some friends did soy wax candles and those were so cool as well. i not only loved the vessels, i was obsessed with the dried flowers added to each of their candles.
soy wax candles
glow is located in willow glen (in san jose, ca) on lincoln avenue. there are a ton of great restaurants on the street if you want to make a day out of it the way we did. glow also allows you to bring food in if you’d like to either bring something from home or pick up something from a nearby establishment. when i return this weekend, i will likely bring little snack plates for my girlfriends and i to tie us over until dinner.
i cannot recommend this place enough! and for those of you who are parents, it is definitely kid friendly.
if you choose to visit soon, don’t forget to let me know!
this year has been full of milestones – many of my nearest and dearest are buying homes, starting businesses, tying the knot and having babies. there are multiple loved ones who have had huge birthdays – 30, 40 and 60. being able to celebrate with my friends and family is not something i take for granted. this made ringing in my mom’s 60th that much more special.
mommy + me
all my mom knew was that she wanted all of her favorite people in one place with good food, drinks flowing and dancing all night. we were definitely able to pull that off. it was nostalgic to have her party in the city she grew up in (quite literally down the street from where my grandfather still lives). as people poured in, there were friends from each place she worked, elementary, middle and high school, extended family members from oklahoma, friends of mine she has taken in as her own and of course, our immediate family.
papa + his girls
it meant the world to my mom and i to see my aunt and cousin walk in with papa (my grandfather). as we watch those that we love age, seeing them be able to celebrate means more than it ever did before. it was the sweetest seeing my mom’s friends (many of whom she’s known since 6th grade) run up to papa, embrace him and reminisce about the kind of home he and grammy built – one where everyone was welcomed. the memories made there have truly stood the test of time.
yvonne (my godmother), sheila, my mom and linda (my mom’s oldest friend 🤎)
my godmother and valentina (not pictured) were quick to contact me months before my mom’s birthday to ask how they could help me. from running errands in la i wouldn’t be able to do from the bay to helping with florals and setup, it truly couldn’t have happened without them. my godmother and mom honestly function more like sisters. linda and my mom had not seen each other since each of their 50th birthdays. watching them embrace brought tears to my eyes – it was like no time had passed. i know witnessing the way my mom and grandmother approached friendship over the years set the tone for how i approach mine – friends are truly your chosen family. seeing my mom’s friends show up for her by the dozen reiterated just that.
my godsister + me
it should come as no surprise that my godmother raised an amazing daughter. my godsister has pretty much been a built in best friend since birth. knowing i could count on her to help make my mom’s party special really took some of the pressure off and made it so much easier to enjoy the evening later on. i think the bartender would agree.
reens, mom, me + sam
when reens and sam not only agreed to do the balloon arch but to come down early to help set up to make the night a success, we were overjoyed. any time spent with them is the absolute best – whether we are in sweats on the sofa, exploring a new place, toasting at a boozy brunch or celebrating milestones together. they are those friends that consistently meet us where we are and we are so grateful for them.
anthony + me
anthony hands probably still smell like citrus after chopping hundreds of lemon and lime wedges for the bar. the irony? anthony doesn’t even drink. truly a testament of what you do for those you love. anthony and my mom have really the sweetest connection. she has always loved how powerful anthony is with a pen. my mom still speaks fondly about something he wrote when we were in undergrad. it was special to have him be there to help her celebrate.
pooh bear + me
my brother had been driving me crazy in the months leading up to my mom’s party. i am sure if you ask him, he would say the same thing about me. the wild thing about music is it’s ability to bring people together. the second we heard “wipe me down” by boosie, our eyes locked, we hashed it out on the dance floor, had the dj run it back and put on the remix (the only version worth listening to). men – if you don’t have a velvet shirt for fall/winter, go buy one immediately. pooh bear was an entire mood.
me, reens, ram ram + my godsister
you know it is a good party when your legs and feet are aching from dancing and your ribs and face are hurting from nonstop laughter and smiling. that is ALWAYS how i feel after night spent out with these three. while i love my nights in with each of them, the nights out are just as invigorating in a different way. the way each of them love my mom and me? unparalleled.
nick, mom, me + melissa
both nick and melissa are friends of mine my mom has adopted in the last five years. nick’s mom and my mom are birthday twins so the party being the day before both of their birthdays worked out wonderfully. melissa and my mom already loved one another but are trauma bonded after my covid stint a couple of years ago. it felt so good to be together for something celebratory with all of us in good health.
sam, reens, me, alexz + hashim
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again – the connections i made while working at the dealership were truly the best of any place i’ve ever worked. there has never been a workplace where i’ve been able to show up completely unfiltered and have nearly every person around me doing the exact same thing. my little bay babies came through and elevated the night with their energy (especially when anything by e40, too short or mac dre was on).
cheers!
there were more trips than i could count made to the bar to toast to/with the birthday girl. the night was exactly what i wanted for my mom – filled with limitless love and laughter. it is incredibly special to watch my mom step into 60 as the most confident, unapologetic and beautiful (both inside and out) version of herself. i truly think this will be her best decade yet.
cheers to another trip around the sun, mama bear. i love you so much!
between the laughter and tears of joy at my 33rd birthday celebration, i took a moment to speak to my family + friends who were present to express my deep sense of gratitude. without question, my love languages are quality time and acts of service. walking into a room full of people i love with my entire heart nearly knocked the wind out of me. once i gathered myself, i spoke about how each person was present for a reason, one being the reciprocity between us. sometimes, i think it is easy to take reciprocal relationships for granted. i certainly don’t at this stage in my life. it was beautiful to witness my people simply showing up for me.
“i love when someone shows up for you in the same way you do for them…that’s rare.”
in seeing this quote, i am fortunate that many people come to mind. someone who consistently knocks it out of the park is jaclyn. we’ve known each other for 15 years this fall. from living in the same dorm to working in psych research labs to being roommates after college to working together in residence life while in the same grad school program to being present for every major life event (graduations, weddings, big moves, funerals, birth of children, etc.) and now, both being therapists – jaclyn has ALWAYS had both the ability and the willingness to meet me exactly where i am. the added bonus of being in jaclyn’s life? being welcomed into her family as if they were my very own. we have grown closer even while our lives have been more full than what we knew we could each handle. somehow, we manage to fill one another’s cups. it is rare and i am grateful beyond belief.
jaclyn + i at her wedding in july ‘16
happy birthday, jaclyn. thank you for modeling that it is in fact possible to have it all – family, friends, health and wellness, an amazing private practice and so much more. i admire and love you more than i could ever describe. cheers to 33.
it is hard to know where to begin. so maybe we start with a photo of the finished product?
photo evidence of what it looks like when i relinquish control and let my friends show up for me – theo, i adore you.
thirty fucking three. saying 33 out loud as my age and not just pippen’s number (felecia and i just finished rewatching the last dance docuseries a couple of weeks ago) is wild. however, after how touch and go 31 was for me, i promised myself i wouldn’t just celebrate milestone birthdays. each year is worth celebrating. each day is truly a gift. theo knows this is my mindset. that’s part of why he called me out in january. well, it is more like he called me in.
theo knows i am a planner by nature. neither of us could remember the last birthday i celebrated without looping in the appropriate parties with less than 90 days notice. so imagine theo’s surprise when it was sunday, january 15th, and he had not received an invitation to anything. february 13th was just around the corner. instead of beating me up, he asked me about each area of my life. we talked about it all – family, friends, work, wellness, love life, etc. what we realized is that each area of my life seemed off balance – so much so that with the free moments i did have, i simply did not have the capacity to plan my birthday, track rsvps and show up enthusiastically. theo got quiet and said he had something to ask me. his next words were:
“kristin. i am going to propose an idea. your natural response/gut reaction will be to say no but i urge you to ‘say yes’ anyway.” i waited to what seemed like an eternity and then he said, “i want you to let me plan and host your birthday this year.”
y’all. i was FLOORED. you know the last time someone else planned a full fledged birthday party for me was? 1999. i was turning nine and mark + felecia rented out skate depot for me and all of my little fourth grade friends. every year since then, i have taken lead on this. i’ve had some great celebrations whether i kept it local in la, turned up in vegas, went wine tasting or a boozy brunch, the thing that each year had in common was spending time with people i love. even though i nearly had a stroke at the thought of letting someone else plan my birthday, i asked myself what i would tell my clients and i knew the answer: let the people who love you show up for you – there is power in relinquishing control.
i did exactly that. the rest? well, it was magic.
my mom, misu and i showed up to one of my favorite restaurants in the bay – meso mediterranean. when i arrived, not only was our private room beautifully decorated, so many people i loved from different chapters of my life were all in one space. there was no longer a need to wonder what someone they had heard many stories about was like in the flesh because they got to soak up that energy in real time.
friendships with start dates ranging from 2008 to 2016 and the thing they all have in common? being beautiful badasses.
with each table i approached, my heart bursted all over again. the love in the room was equal parts overwhelming and intoxicating.
you know when you meet someone and they instantly feel like family? that’s how it was with these two.
realizing that people had traveled up from la and down from sf/oakland/sacramento was so heartwarming.
when your old coworkers function more like sisters
theo had arranged a slideshow. it was amazing to see photos dating back from 2007 and was truly a testament to how we’ve watched each other grow up. we looked like babies because we were! being back at scu where it all began was such a full circle moment. being able to celebrate with people i met at scu whether it be in undergrad or in grad school while in reslife was incredible.
the og scu reslife crew – i married the two on the right this past fall!
seeing old and new friends laugh, toast with my mom and entertain misu while i was with each guest was the best.
my mom and many of my friends who are like her adopted children/nieces/nephews
and just when i thought i couldn’t be more grateful, theo directed our attention to the screen below. there was video after video of loved ones who couldn’t be there to celebrate but were there in spirit. many of the messages moved me to tears. oftentimes, people don’t get their flowers while they can still smell them. i was fortunate enough to get plenty (both literally and figuratively) this past weekend.
theo and evan are also the most attractive couple in the world. don’t @ me.
evan (theo’s partner) not only helped theo host but took photos of me with each of my guests and gifted me the most thoughtful card and gorgeous bouquet with sunflowers. they are on my nightstand as we speak.
while i was hesitant to be vulnerable and relinquish control, i am so glad i did. there are not enough words in the english language to thank you, theo. just know i love you so much and appreciate you yesterday, today and always.
i’d kiss you a thousand times over if i could
the icing on the cake? the party not ending until nearly 11pm and being able to laugh like this with my grad school bestie.
therapists can have fun, too!
misu being in bottle service was a life goal. it has now been fulfilled!
misu as security misu soaking up the club vibes
kicking off 33 has highlighted the importance of practicing what i preach, remembering to pour into people who pour into me and always being grateful.
happy birthday kristin!
it truly was a happy birthday. i am looking forward to my 33rd trip around the sun.
february is my favorite month for many reasons. the first day of the month is misu’s birthday. i love winter. i have a deep appreciation for black history month. celebrating love is something i do regularly but valentine’s day gives me even more of a reason to do so. the three day weekend due to presidents’ day is never something i complain about. many of my favorite humans are born during the month of february, including anj (aka my twin), who is blogging alongside me at this very moment (you can check out her amazing blog here). lastly (but certainly not least), it is my birthday month.
i tend to get pretty reflective around my birthday and set intentions for the year that lies ahead. something that has continued to show up in sessions with my clients as of late is people choosing to measure their success based on how they are doing in comparison to others versus simply measuring whether they have grown in the last week/month/year. i took a step back to ask myself – is this an area of growth for me as well or is it something i’ve already mastered? what i determined was this: in my professional life, i do an exceptional job of only comparing me to me. i make a conscientious effort to continue learning new tools to share with my clients, i am unafraid of admitting when i do not know something and figure out the appropriate resources to circle back with and i can see distinct differences in the therapy i did back in 2016 as opposed to now. when it comes to my personal life, there is room for improvement. i think for many people my age, especially women, it is easy to look around at those closest to you and wonder if you are doing something wrong if your lives don’t look similar. this is especially true when it comes to marriage and children. while i think because of the way my analytical brain is set up, a little comparison may be present to some degree, the shift i noticed once approaching 30 was admiring those closest to me who had achieved something i hadn’t yet.
this quote seemed to hit the nail on the head.
“inspiration is infinitely better than comparison. let brilliant people motivate, not intimidate you.”
i am surrounded by a group of extraordinary humans. and rather than let jaclyn’s success in private practice as a licensed marriage and family therapist, melissa owning + remodeling her own home or anj’s domination of being a stay at home mom to a bright eyed little boy intimidate me, i find myself constantly being in awe. instead of being amazed silently, i often will inquire about the inner workings of how these exceptional humans are thriving in their lives. i have been encouraging my clients to do the same. inspiration is absolutely better than comparison.
do you find that you compare yourself to others or are you able to be inspired by the success others around you have?
keep up with k.tap 