Tag: celebrate you

34.

each year, i select a word as my theme for my personal new year. after much reflection, going into 34, i chose my word: calm.

with every curveball thrown my way during 33, i focused on “controlling the controllables” (as my coach from grit and gratitude fitness frequently reminds me to do) and something i realized now more than ever is the importance of remaining calm no matter the intensity of the storm. it has served me incredibly well.

during 33, my word of the year was reciprocity. while i could only fit 10 photos on instagram (i was certain to include more here), everyone that helped me celebrate (whether it was in bottle service, at a boozy brunch, over a spectacular dinner or in napa) reiterated the importance of reciprocal relationships and aid in me being my calmest self.

on friday, the 9th, i was determined to dip back into bay area night life. dancing all night at nova in san jose followed by late night nachos at la vic’s brought me back to my early 20s. 10 out of 10 would recommend.

saturday, the 10th, was so life giving. we did a bottomless mimosa brunch at straits followed by espresso martinis at el jardin. for any of you that are new to my love languages, words of affirmation is pretty low on the list. i used to cringe when receiving them and have worked extensively on being better at just being open to being loved out loud. i wasn’t ready for when theo had each person go around and say their favorite thing about me. it definitely got emotional for many – i wouldn’t change a fucking thing.

sunday, the 11th, was so damn sweet. i did a solo coffee date with my twin, anj. next, we did a girly brunch in livermore followed by wine tasting at concannon. i wrapped the day with anj at her bff’s house (blythe is the best host!) and got to spend some time with my nephew.

monday, one of my oldest friends booked a reservation at my family’s favorite steakhouse without even knowing that info ahead of time. if you haven’t been to mastro’s, run – don’t walk. anthony knocked it out of the park.

i kicked off my actual birthday on tuesday, the 13th, with coffee with my fellow therapist and soul sister, jaclyn and her youngest son. it was the perfect start to the day. i ended with a late night happy hour at yard house with a coworker turned friend, wilson.

i wrapped up the celebrations on presidents’ day in napa with my fellow aquarian queen and a couple of our girls. we started off with brunch at rh yountville followed by wine tasting at mumm, madonna estate and domaine carneros. we wrapped the day at celadon for dinner. it was truly the perfect day.

few things compare to entering my big diesel year (for my fellow lakers fans) surrounded by being loved in my love languages (quality time and acts of service) and feeling more grounded than i ever have in my adult life.

what is your theme word for your current year of life? or perhaps, your next year of life?

thank you for all of the wonderful birthday wishes – i truly love you all.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: your hard work should be celebrated

historically, i have been pretty fortunate to have amazing supervisors at my places of employment. this year is no different. working with her has helped me grow both as a person and a clinician.

when i am facilitating therapy groups, typically i start with “rose, bud, thorn” – a rose is a high point of the week, a bud is something they are looking forward to in the upcoming week and a thorn is something that was unpleasant during that week. while this is still a great way to start therapy, something my supervisor has us do during every check in is a “high, low, did well” – high and low are comparable to rose and thorn however a “did well” is something you accomplished/are feeling proud of. this got me thinking…

how often do we stop to give ourselves credit for our accomplishments?

if i’m being honest – i don’t do this often enough in my own life. do my clients acknowledge their own accomplishments outside of sessions with me? have we been taught that this is arrogant instead of being affirmative? when i came across this quote, it nearly leaped off the page.

“it is okay to be proud of yourself & your accomplishments. it’s okay to smile when you look at what you’ve achieved. your hard work should be celebrated. you’ve earned this.” #fleurdelisspeaks

in march, i am proud of being consistent with personal training, seeing many of my clients become stronger versions of themselves, prioritizing sleep and being more intentional with communicating regularly with my dad.

what are you proud of from the last month? how are you celebrating?

xoxo,

k. tap

33.

it is hard to know where to begin. so maybe we start with a photo of the finished product?

photo evidence of what it looks like when i relinquish control and let my friends show up for me – theo, i adore you.

thirty fucking three. saying 33 out loud as my age and not just pippen’s number (felecia and i just finished rewatching the last dance docuseries a couple of weeks ago) is wild. however, after how touch and go 31 was for me, i promised myself i wouldn’t just celebrate milestone birthdays. each year is worth celebrating. each day is truly a gift. theo knows this is my mindset. that’s part of why he called me out in january. well, it is more like he called me in.

theo knows i am a planner by nature. neither of us could remember the last birthday i celebrated without looping in the appropriate parties with less than 90 days notice. so imagine theo’s surprise when it was sunday, january 15th, and he had not received an invitation to anything. february 13th was just around the corner. instead of beating me up, he asked me about each area of my life. we talked about it all – family, friends, work, wellness, love life, etc. what we realized is that each area of my life seemed off balance – so much so that with the free moments i did have, i simply did not have the capacity to plan my birthday, track rsvps and show up enthusiastically. theo got quiet and said he had something to ask me. his next words were:

“kristin. i am going to propose an idea. your natural response/gut reaction will be to say no but i urge you to ‘say yes’ anyway.” i waited to what seemed like an eternity and then he said, “i want you to let me plan and host your birthday this year.”

y’all. i was FLOORED. you know the last time someone else planned a full fledged birthday party for me was? 1999. i was turning nine and mark + felecia rented out skate depot for me and all of my little fourth grade friends. every year since then, i have taken lead on this. i’ve had some great celebrations whether i kept it local in la, turned up in vegas, went wine tasting or a boozy brunch, the thing that each year had in common was spending time with people i love. even though i nearly had a stroke at the thought of letting someone else plan my birthday, i asked myself what i would tell my clients and i knew the answer: let the people who love you show up for you – there is power in relinquishing control.

i did exactly that. the rest? well, it was magic.

my mom, misu and i showed up to one of my favorite restaurants in the bay – meso mediterranean. when i arrived, not only was our private room beautifully decorated, so many people i loved from different chapters of my life were all in one space. there was no longer a need to wonder what someone they had heard many stories about was like in the flesh because they got to soak up that energy in real time.

friendships with start dates ranging from 2008 to 2016 and the thing they all have in common? being beautiful badasses.

with each table i approached, my heart bursted all over again. the love in the room was equal parts overwhelming and intoxicating.

you know when you meet someone and they instantly feel like family? that’s how it was with these two.

realizing that people had traveled up from la and down from sf/oakland/sacramento was so heartwarming.

when your old coworkers function more like sisters

theo had arranged a slideshow. it was amazing to see photos dating back from 2007 and was truly a testament to how we’ve watched each other grow up. we looked like babies because we were! being back at scu where it all began was such a full circle moment. being able to celebrate with people i met at scu whether it be in undergrad or in grad school while in reslife was incredible.

the og scu reslife crew – i married the two on the right this past fall!

seeing old and new friends laugh, toast with my mom and entertain misu while i was with each guest was the best.

my mom and many of my friends who are like her adopted children/nieces/nephews

and just when i thought i couldn’t be more grateful, theo directed our attention to the screen below. there was video after video of loved ones who couldn’t be there to celebrate but were there in spirit. many of the messages moved me to tears. oftentimes, people don’t get their flowers while they can still smell them. i was fortunate enough to get plenty (both literally and figuratively) this past weekend.

theo and evan are also the most attractive couple in the world. don’t @ me.

evan (theo’s partner) not only helped theo host but took photos of me with each of my guests and gifted me the most thoughtful card and gorgeous bouquet with sunflowers. they are on my nightstand as we speak.

while i was hesitant to be vulnerable and relinquish control, i am so glad i did. there are not enough words in the english language to thank you, theo. just know i love you so much and appreciate you yesterday, today and always.

i’d kiss you a thousand times over if i could

the icing on the cake? the party not ending until nearly 11pm and being able to laugh like this with my grad school bestie.

therapists can have fun, too!

misu being in bottle service was a life goal. it has now been fulfilled!

misu as security
misu soaking up the club vibes

kicking off 33 has highlighted the importance of practicing what i preach, remembering to pour into people who pour into me and always being grateful.

happy birthday kristin!

it truly was a happy birthday. i am looking forward to my 33rd trip around the sun.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: your own lane

i am less than one week away from starting to work with my wellness coach/trainer. someone asked me how i was feeling about it today and i answered honestly – i was terrified. i know that i am in the right place at the right time PLUS i truly believe this is the right person to facilitate this journey with me. even still, there was this fear.

when thinking about where that fear stemmed from, i realized that on some level, i was comparing myself to others. whether it was people i knew personally or what i was ingesting through media, i had temporarily lost sight of what i truly needed to be focused on. the only person i need to be in competition with is myself – as long as i am better than i was the day before, that is more than enough. it made me think of this quote i ran across last month:

“when you’re in your own lane, there’s no traffic.” -ava duvernay

i couldn’t have said it better.

xoxo,

k. tap

thought of the week: the theme for 31

first, i cannot believe i am 31. there was such a build up to turning 30 followed by an epic celebration in sin city. this year looked a lot different but i would argue it was equally (if not more) impactful. my mom and i flew for the first time in almost a year and celebrated my birthday in the bay area. since it was home for 10 years, so many of my favorite humans are here. it just made sense (to me) to do a series of outdoor dining dates in small groups. you will get a chance to read about an absolute must for brunch tomorrow.

anyway, each year, i pick a theme for the year centered around one word. in previous years, i have focused on themes like: hustle, vulnerability, unapologetic, etc. back in december, i was driving home from the bay and someone asked me what my plans were for my 31st birthday. while i hadn’t ironed out plans, i knew my theme for 31 ahead of time. 31 was going to be all about reciprocity.

merriam webster defines reciprocity as the quality or state of being reciprocal: mutual dependence, action, or influence. i realized that while i was (and still am) certainly blessed beyond measure when it comes to my friends, there were still some relationships where i was giving much more than i was receiving. being that i give so much of myself at work, i truly don’t have the capacity for anything that i am choosing outside of that to be one sided.

i made sure to make this weekend all about spending time with people i love dearly who love me back in ways that feel good to me. i was out of my hotel room for over 10 hours today but somehow feel rejuvenated. that’s the beauty of reciprocal relationships.

do you have reciprocal relationships in your life? what is your theme for this year of your life?

i am feeling excited about 31.

xoxo,

k. tap