for as long as i could remember, my mom has always told my brother and i that “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.  what’s the worst they can say? ‘no?'”

 

as a teen, i hated hearing it, especially because i did not think she was cognizant of what she was actually asking me to do.  in my early 20s, i hated that i was then cognizant of how right she was.  in my mid 20s, i hated how uncomfortable it felt to vocalize my needs.  and now, in my late 20s?  i hate how long it took me to sack up and just be courageous.

 

while courage may look different to each person, the definition merriam-webster provides is: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty.

 

2019 has been full of courageous moments for me.  there have been plenty of times this year where i have been perplexed by how i have accomplished some of the most extraordinary things in my life thus far.  it was as though my friend michelle and i were communicating telepathically.  she reposted this quote from shay mitchell’s page (by the way, go binge watch “you” on netflix immediately – season one was to die for and i am pumped for season two to drop) and it explained so much of my 2019.

 

 

“you get in life what you have the courage to ask for”

 

it is simple. it is to the point.  it could easily be my motto for 2019.

 

this year, i have accomplished quite a bit but so much of that required both vulnerability and courage.  i no longer think of asking for help as a sign of weakness – i view it as a sign of strength to be able to articulate each of my needs unapologetically.

 

this year:

i asked for help from multiple people to launch my blog and now, i just celebrated 100 posts.

i demanded respect from all people in my life (if they plan on staying in it) regardless of whether or not we share a bloodline and as a result, my relationships with my family and friends have improved but most importantly, my relationship with myself has improved.

i asked for friends to show up for me in ways that would feel good for me, especially when going through grief, loss or trauma and i swear to you, it has restored my faith in humanity.

i asked my grammy for guidance in some difficult situations and can feel her steering me in the right direction even without her being physically present.

i asked a few of the healthiest people i know what tips they would have for me to lead a healthier lifestyle and i have seen slow and steady results while feeling supported the entire way.

 

here’s the thing: none of those things would have been accomplished if i did not ask.  it was not luck or coincidence that got me to this point in 2019, it was courage.

 

what are you going to have the courage to ask for before 2019 is over?  just remember, you deserve it.

 

xoxo,

k. tap