hey lovelies!  this week, i will be blogging from the east coast while chaperoning a college tour with my girls.  if the times i post seem a little wackier than usual, that is why.  currently, we are in boston but there are a few other cities we will get to explore as well.  if there is a place we visit that has something i think you have to see/try, i will definitely do a post about it.  anyway, back to boston – i was in here in february chaperoning another trip and you can read about all of my favorite places i explored here.

 

many moons ago, marilena (my roommate from freshman year turned soulmate) showed me a quote from faith broussard cade that gave me chills.  it was not until much later that i found her on instagram and realized part of why she resonates with me is because she is also a black woman who works in mental health.  she has this ability to say things in a couple of sentences that just leave you in deep thought for hours or even days thereafter.  i stumbled across this quote last week and it helped me deal with a message sent to me over the weekend.

 

 

“start accepting compliments without minimizing yourself.  you’ve spent years proving your greatness to others; it’s time you start believing your own hype.” -faith broussard cade aka fleurdelisspeaks

 

let’s unpack this piece by piece, especially with how it applies to me.  so if you have been following along for awhile, you know i am obsessed with the five love languages.  i am definitely hardcore when it comes to quality time and acts of service.  unfortunately,  words of affirmation is not only something i have to work at giving, it is also something i have to work at receiving.  i sometimes get physically uncomfortable when hearing someone sing my praises and have really had to work at just simply accepting the compliment without trying to justify it and even more so, without minimizing myself in the process.  when i received the following text from a friend this weekend, before responding, i stopped and thought about what i would typically do versus what i have been working towards doing.  the above quote helped me do what i have been working towards and i was so fucking proud of me.

 

the text i received: you know, i was talking with my professor today (the one that convinced me to stay enrolled for the semester) and you came up again.  discussing the prozac thing again and i mentioned what you had suggested and her response was “i think you have a very talented and intelligent friend and i think her advice was spot on.” i agreed with her and reaffirmed how wonderfully talented you are.   but it made me think of something: i really hope you’ll teach someday.  you talk about how dr. astin kept you going while you were struggling and i know you could have the same impact on future clinicians someday.  you already have for me, so i hope you’ll consider doing the same for others.

 

how i would typically respond: i am glad that was helpful but you don’t have to say that.  it really isn’t a big deal.  blah blah blah.

 

how i actually responded: this was so sweet.  it almost made me cry.  and is definitely something on my bucket list (teaching a class or two).  i don’t tell you this often enough but i really do love you.  i am traveling to the east coast for work this week but let me know if we need (or want) to schedule a call for this week.

 

i am so proud of me for a few reasons.  yes, i have been working my ass off both in and outside of the classroom to get these degrees, to work with clients from all walks of life, to do research and to do work on myself to become the best possible clinician.  but you know what also made me proud?  simply being able to accept the praise and know that every ounce was deserved.

 

30 is around the corner and i could not be happier to be in a space where i am believing my own hype.

 

do you recognize how great you are?  and do you do it unapologetically?

 

xoxo,

k. tap