about a week ago, i reposted a quote from garcelle (an amazing actress who will also be on this upcoming season of real housewives of beverly hills – so excited to see a black woman on this franchise). anyway, i got a surprising number of dms about it and more specifically, why women felt the need to choose between these two things. it is almost as though the two cannot coexist within one being. i definitely beg to differ.

“be a badass with a big heart.”

in the world we live in, people, especially women, are often put into boxes. that being said, there is this idea that you are either a badass that gets shit done who is cold and icy or you are this emotional, blubbering mess with a huge heart but an inability to think rationally or accomplish things that require logic, skill and focus.

but here’s the thing: i am a badass with a big heart.

i accomplish the goals i set for myself, i take risks, i am independent and i am unapologetic. all of these things are associated with being a badass. at the same time, i am often called mama bear or mom by friends because i am a caretaker, i work as a therapist and if i love you, my love knows no bounds. long ago, i stopped apologizing for being a badass to make people more comfortable. i also stopped hiding the softer side of me for fear of being viewed as weak.

i have come to learn that the best people i know don’t choose because you can be both. my favorite humans are beautiful and bold badasses with the biggest hearts.

do you feel like both can coexist or do you feel pressured to be just one or the other?

xoxo,

k. tap