two of the many interesting things about quarantine are additional time to connect with others and a great amount of time to reflect. each day, i have had at least two meaningful facetime calls with friends and family. there has been a ton of overlap in the themes of these conversations. the one i am highlighting this evening are relationships that have run their course.
i think there is this idea that is instilled in many of us from a young age around the amount time spent doing something or building a relationship with someone being a factor that is significant enough to continue doing it or being in that relationship. what is not discussed is the idea of being able to stop doing something or cut off a relationship once you have done everything in your power to make it a positive experience and it is not working or the other party is not doing their part to keep the relationship afloat.
i had a conversation over the weekend with a dear friend and he kept saying how many years he put into the relationship. he then went on to list all of the ways this relationship was not only toxic but abusive. but in his mind, the justification was the number of years put in. it was this idea that if he truly ended things, all of the time spent in that relationship would have been wasted as opposed to viewing it as an experience to learn and grow for himself and for the next relationship.
it made me think of this quote i stumbled across a few weeks ago:
“don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.”
i shared this image/quote with him and he was shook. it was exactly what he needed to read in order to start the process of letting go.
what thing or relationship (and not just intimate, platonic ones count, too!) are you clinging onto simply because of the amount of time you invested?