thought of the week: pain passes…

this week has been filled with more meaningful conversations and revelations than i could have imagined. if 2020 has taught me anything, it is that life comes at you fast.

a couple of days ago, i was in session with a client and she just lost it. i held space as i watched her spiral on my screen. once she collected herself, she apologized. when i asked her why she was apologizing, at first she said that she was unsure. then, when she found the words, she stated that she was sorry for feeling too much. then there was a second apology – one for discussing the same topic in session more than once.

she apologized for feeling too much…in front of a professional…whom she hired…to process feelings with.


i not only am working with her on not feeling the need to apologize for feeling and doing so outwardly, but i also brought to her attention that she is guilting herself about not having worked through something she dedicates an hour or less to each week.

she certainly hadn’t thought of it that way. i had come across this quote last week and shared it with her:

“pain passes more quickly when we don’t criticize or shame ourselves for feeling it.”

not even 24 hours later, i sat at my dining table with two of the most resilient women i know and we discussed the power and courage behind vulnerability without shame or guilt. sometimes, we think that we aren’t progressing because of something on the outside but oftentimes, we are playing a part by getting in our own way. just imagine how good it could feel to process pain without shame or criticism.

have you been hindering your own healing?


k. tap

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