Author: keep up with k.tap

monat – finally, a hair care line for all hair types

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over the years, i have struggled to find products that i consistently love for my hair in all of its stages.  whether i am freshly relaxed, in need of a perm, wearing it in a messy bun, have a weave or am rocking braids seemed to determine what hair products i needed.  when i found myself complimenting my friend sarah on her hair on multiple factime calls, she told me she had been using monat products.  now, sarah and i do not have the same hair type.  but then, she mentioned that another friend of ours, biz, sold her the products.  i do not have the same hair type as biz either, but neither does sarah.  this had me intrigued…

 

i reached out to biz to see what she could tell me about the products and she explained that while the shampoo or conditioner that she uses may not be for me, monat is a hair care line that has a variety of different options depending on your specific hair needs.  i explained that i have been getting my hair relaxed regularly since grammar school and when my hair is down/straight, i often put heat on it.  i was looking for something hydrating and restorative without being oily because as a black woman, i cannot wash my hair every single day and i need my blowouts to last.  after much discussion and an assessment, it was clear that the best package for me was the hydration system.

 

the hydration system included the renew shampoo, the replenish masque and the restore leave in conditioner.  there was a special promo where i was able to get some additional products – the one i was obsessed with was the micellar shampoo.  the cost for the aforementioned was just over $70.  while i had never spent that on shampoo and conditioner in one go, i considered a few things:

  1. i was supporting a friend and one who i believe to be honest in what she would promote
  2. if it did not work out, i had 30 days to get a full refund no matter how much product was left in the bottle(s)
  3. i knew these products would last awhile because i do not wash my hair daily (and my non black friends who use these products now wash their hair less because there is not a need to wash daily or even every other day)
  4. the products were vegan and cruelty free
  5. if i can spend $70 at brunch, i can spend $70 to invest in my hair

 

during the summer, i spend an unreal amount of time in the pool.  this summer, it was revved up due to me committing to a 30 day workout challenge with my brother.  that is when i was really able to see the difference these products made for my hair.  typically, chlorine strips my hair and makes it brittle, especially with it already being chemically straightened.  yet somehow, at the end of the summer, my hair was the thickest/fullest it had been in at least a year.  it also felt so soft – as if i had been doing daily deep conditioning treatments.  the only thing that changed was me using monat.

 

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while i still use a neutralizing shampoo by motions once a month to rinse the relaxer out of my hair, every other wash is done with monat.  sometimes, due to how much i was in the pool, i was washing my hair four to five times per week.  it showed me that a little product goes a long way.  and now, even with my braids, i use the restore leave in conditioner on my scalp and it has genuinely made such a difference.

 

something i love is that there is something for everyone.  sarah, biz and i look like a diversity poster for monat but it genuinely works for each of us.  there is a line for men, one for kids and one for pets so no one in your household is left out.

 

listen – i did not expect to love a hair care line enough to want to sell their products but here i am.  if you are interested in having healthier hair that is lower maintenance, monat is definitely for you.

 

if you already know you are interested in purchasing these products from me, you can do so here.

 

if you are still on the fence, i am happy to answer any and all questions whether it be here, via dm, email, text or we can set up a phone call/facetime date – you just let me know!

 

xoxo,

k. tap

at least i can pretend like it’s fall…

so i am sure you all remember my post from the end of september celebrating fall and all the wonderful things that come along with it like amazing candles and red wine, right?  well, that fall weather was short lived and yesterday, it was 90 degrees in la.  i almost allowed that to ruin some upcoming outfit posts i had but figured there are still new pieces i have that look like fall without it actually having to feel like fall outside.  let me introduce you to one of the latest additions to my wardrobe that is allowing me to pretend like it is fall…

 

 

this  sanctuary sundown duster cardigan pulled me in initially because of the color.  while this yellow can be worn in the fall, it also is a piece that i would wear during spring and summer (in the evenings, at least).  nordstrom was recently doing a special event where you earned 10x the number of points on every purchase so i had to get a couple of things, this duster being one of them.  it feels great against my skin, can be paired with denim, leggings or dresses and is light enough to not be overpowering on the warmer fall days but functional enough to knock the chill off.  at around $50, it was worth every penny.  this one just sold out so i have linked some of my other favorites in a variety of sizes at a similar price point:

one!

two!

three!

four!

five!

 

have you already pulled out your sweaters for fall?  or at the very least, purchased a couple to add to your wardrobe?

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

 

thought of the week: people pleasers

a topic that has come up repeatedly in the last few weeks both in sessions with my clients and in my personal life is this notion that we have to make those around us happy.  sometimes, it is to the extent that our own happiness is pushed to the side or even worse, completely disregarded.

 

with my clients (most of which are teen girls), there is a recurring theme: a need to please their friends, their love interests and above all, their parents.  while there is a great deal of effort that goes into trying to fit in with the right group or be well liked amongst those they have romantic interest in, it seems like parental approval trumps all.  i cannot count how many times i have had a crying child in my office over having a 3.96 gpa (when it could be a 4.3), upset about their dress size being a 6 (when it could be a 2), getting eight college acceptance letters (when it could be 11), and the list goes on.  when i ask these girls where this pressure stems from or who they are trying to impress, more often than not, the answer is their parents.  not only do they become obsessed with pleasing their parents but they become obsessed with pleasing others in an effort to get that validation they are not getting at home.  this often leads to being hellbent on sheer perfection (which isn’t attainable in the first place).

 

over the weekend, i went out on a first date.  while the guy i went out with was definitely a gentleman with a kind spirit, i noticed how quickly he would change his views if it was evident that my viewpoint was different.  what is interesting is that i would happily date someone with different views as long as they understood and respected my views.  i know it is possible to have a different viewpoint but still understand and even empathize with your partner.  i don’t want to be with someone i can walk all over.  not only is that not fun for me but i do not want to be contributing to silencing someone, even if that isn’t my intention.

 

not even 24 hours later, i came across this quote and thought it hit the nail on the head.

 

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“people pleasers often start off as parent pleasers.” -alexandra d’amour

 

i am hoping that my work with my teen clients can aid in their discovery of not feeling the need to please their parents in order to feel accepted or loved fully.  i don’t want them to turn into people pleasers who completely disregard their own wants, needs or feelings.  it also made me wonder if the guy from my date started off as a parent pleaser and then later morphed into a people pleaser.

 

what has your experience been with people pleasers whether it be someone you know or even if it is you?  if it is you, did you start off as a parent pleaser?

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

national taco day

i don’t know what is more exciting – the fact that we are kicking off the weekend or the fact that it is national taco day.

 

growing up in california, la to be specific, i have never had a shortage of amazing mexican food.  there are taquerias on every corner and amazing, hole in the wall mexican restaurants (some of which will be featured later this year on my blog) and even just great street taco vendors.  but naturally, with me loving to cook, i have experimented in the kitchen to make my own mexican food.  in honor of national taco day, i wanted to share my shrimp tacos recipe.

 

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ingredients:

  1. raw shrimp (16 small pieces)
  2. kosher salt
  3. black pepper
  4. lime
  5. minced garlic (1 teaspoon)
  6. ginger sriracha lemon rub (1 teaspoon)
  7. olive oil, butter or bacon fat (sounds crazy but will explain later)
  8. street taco shells
  9. grated cheese
  10. one fresh jalapeño
  11. one roma tomato
  12. sabra mini spicy guacamole or 1/2 of an avocado
  13. spicy greek yogurt dip
  14. 1/4 cup of shredded iceberg lettuce or cabbage (i used a pinch of the salad mixture i typically use for my savory southwest salmon salad)

 

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recipe:

1. first, i defrost the shrimp and then i make sure to drain all of the excess water and season it with salt, pepper, half of a lime, the ginger sriracha lemon rub and some minced garlic

2. sauté shrimp in either butter, olive oil or bacon fat if you would like a little extra flavor without all of the added calories of actual bacon

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3. dice a fresh jalapeño and a roma tomato

4. heat street taco shells and sprinkle a little grated cheese onto them

5. once the shells are removed from the heat, add four marinated shrimp to each shell then top with the tomato, jalapeño, cabbage, guac and spicy greek yogurt dip

enjoy while hot!

 

what are your favorite taco recipes?  if you don’t enjoy cooking them but just enjoy eating them, tell me your favorite place to get a good taco, especially if you are in la.

 

enjoy your weekend!

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

 

thought of the week: the irony of grief

september has been quite the emotional rollercoaster for me.  whether it was dealing with incredibly traumatic cases at work, having some great up and coming projects for this blog, tackling my own shit with a new therapist or trying to navigate my love life with both old and new flames, it has been quite the ride.

 

i cannot even count how many times i have picked up the phone to dial my grandmother’s phone number, got excited over seeing a car that looked like the one she used to drive or thought about shooting her a quick text to just bounce an idea off of her (because there was no one more sharp or quick-witted than she).  i am sure one could imagine both my disbelief and heartache when i realized that none of the aforementioned were options because she is no longer here.  then, i saw this quote and it perfectly captured how i was feeling:

 

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“grief – the irony of grief is that the person you need to talk to about how you feel is the person that is no longer here”

 

it has been over two years since grammy passed and some days are easier than others to navigate but there is not a day that goes by that i don’t think about her or wish she was here to just catch up with.

 

are there other parts of grief that you have found to be ironic?

 

cheers to this being the last day of september.  god knows i need a new month.

 

xoxo,

k. tap