the sun and her flowers

it is no secret that i love to read, but clearly, i have been on a heavy duty poetry kick as of late.  last month, i reread “salt.” (yet again) and loved it.  this month, i picked up “the sun and her flowers” by rupi kaur for the third time.  you can get your copy here – i am all about amazon because i hate having to wait extended periods of time to get my hands on a good book.

 

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even though christmas is one of my least favorite holidays, this book was gifted to me by my friend anthony.  while i initially thought it was odd since he knows i am not really about christmas, i realized once reading the inscription that it was far more about being an aid in the healing process with it being my very first christmas without my grandmother.  not only did it help me greatly during that first holiday season/year without her, it is a book that i find myself picking up again and again.

*by the way, anthony sketches some really dope shit – check him out here!

 

there are some poems that hit differently on this third read – i am going to include some of my favorites for you to enjoy.

 

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“the irony of loneliness is we all feel it at the same time  – together

while this resonated with me during my first read, after having some years under my belt as a counselor, these words are ones that i reference in sessions with clients.  so many of the teen girls that i work with think they are the only ones who are lonely without realizing that the girl smiling in their pre-calc class is just as lonely, she just wears it differently.

 

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“this place makes me the kind of exhausted that has nothing to do with sleep and everything to do with the people around me  – introvert

the older i get, the more introverted i become.  the more introverted i become, the more time i need to recharge after being in social situations.  whether it is something i do regularly like work or something that is less frequent like a birthday party, i find myself being tapped out if i do not carve out the appropriate time to recoup. it has also made me ultra aware of who i choose to spend my time (exhaust my energy) with/on.

 

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“the way you speak of yourself the way you degrade yourself into smallness is abuse  – self-harm

so frequently, self-harm is viewed solely as physically hurting oneself – what i like about this poem is that it highlights that there are various types of self-harm, especially repeated self-degradation.

 

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“sometimes i stop myself from saying the words out loud as if leaving my mouth too often might wear them down  – i love you

during my first read, i both loved and hated this poem.  i loved it because it totally captured who i am in intimate relationships but i hated it because i would give anything to tell my grammy i loved her just one more time.  while she was here, we said it during every phone call and when saying goodbye in person.  however, i made a vow to myself to say it more often to those who i know i love because who knows when will be the last time i have a chance to say it or they have a chance to hear it.  with 2019 being my year of vulnerability, i have really been practicing this more.  it has been beautiful and does not wear down the words in the slightest for me or the recipient(s).

 

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“if i am the longest relationship of my life isn’t it time to nurture intimacy and love with the person i lie in bed with each night  – acceptance

*pardon the shadowing on the page above – even after several attempts, this was the best shot

so often, i hear people talking about another person completing them.  while i believe in love and partnership fully, i do not love this concept.  i think as people, we should be complete on our own.  and with that comes nurturing the most important relationship in our lives – the one that serves as the foundation for all other relationships; our relationship with ourselves.  this poem will always serve as a reminder to do just that.

 

if you have read “the sun and her flowers”, i would love to hear which poem(s) is your favorite.  if you have not read it in its entirety, tell me which of the ones i posted above resonates with you most.

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

 

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