i spent years of my life saying ‘yes’ to things and people that really weren’t for me. sometimes, it was being done out of obligation. other times, it was out of expectation. i often wondered how i would be perceived if i did not constantly comply.

i eventually hit this breaking point and challenged myself to a full year of saying ‘no’ followed by a full year of removing the shame or guilt associated with saying ‘no’ – it was exhilarating.

here’s the piece i never talked about: in my transition to saying ‘no’ more often, i sometimes would say ‘maybe’ – why was that? i think it is because it sounded softer or nicer than saying ‘no’.

when i saw this quote, i laughed and cringed simultaneously. the laughter stemmed from being past this stage but the cringing? that stemmed from wondering about how many times i said ‘maybe’.

“don’t say ‘maybe’ if you want to say ‘no.'” -paulo coelho

not only do i love the simplicity of this message, but i love that it reiterates how the word ‘no’ is a full sentence. i plan on continuing to use it accordingly.

when’s the last time you said ‘maybe’ when you wanted to say ‘no’ and what motivated that choice?

xoxo,

k. tap