if you know me personally or have been following along for a bit, you know i love baths. i use them as a space to relax, clear my mind and just be. i definitely view a long bath as a form of self care. if i have a restless night of sleep, i will often take a bath to recalibrate and be more centered before starting my work day.
there are many components to the perfect bath but the item that has transformed my time in the tub is this bamboo bathtub caddy.
my friend carolynn got it for my birthday and it is such a game changer. there is space for absolutely everything. i am usually one of those people struggling to figure out where to sit my wine glass, my ipad or macbook, different bath bombs, soaps or scrubs i am using, whatever book i’ve been reading, a candle and anything else you can think of without getting something wet that isn’t waterproof or accidentally knocking something over. hint: that something has been my wine glass on more than one occasion. *face palm*
i think it will be hard for me to take another bath if i don’t have this caddy as part of it. so if you’re at home due to covid-19 and looking for ways to up your self care game, this caddy is available on amazon prime.
because so many of my friends know i am an avid reader, i was gifted some really amazing books for my 30th birthday. i am incredibly fortunate to work with some phenomenal human beings and many of them are these powerful women who are simply forces to be reckoned with. amanda is one of those forces so of course, it came as no surprise that she gifted me two books that are written by strong women. let me introduce you to “corazón” – a raw book of poems by yesika salgado.
the cover and title alone reeled me in. then as i started to read, there were so many things i connected with. yesika is a woman of color, plus sized and an la native. she writes about life, love, lust, heartache, her body and her soul. she is bold and unapologetic. she covers topics some would be afraid or ashamed to touch. i love her.
i don’t think there was a single poem i did not love but here are some for you to enjoy:
did you have a favorite? let me know in the comments below! if you are yearning for more, you can find “corazón” by yesika salgado here.
i know i will be reading a lot more while quarantined. if you have any recommendations, send them my way.
in the last several weeks, i have had a ton of conversations about life, love and loyalty. maybe that is just part of the deal with turning 30? things seem to be more serious and more significant. i definitely don’t mind it but it definitely has me in a more contemplative space.
when i was in the bay a little over a week ago, i got to spend some quality time with my dear friends, anj and aaron. in discussing relationships, and more specifically, friendships, there were a series of questions and ideas proposed about loyalty and reciprocity. both are crucial for any healthy relationship. it reminded me of this quote from billy chapata.
“are you loyal to you as much as you are loyal to other people? or does your loyalty not understand what reciprocation is yet?” -billy chapata
damn.
here’s the thing: while loyalty and reciprocity are crucial in building relationships, the most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. it sets the tone for all of your other relationships.
so with that, i ask you, are you loyal to you as much as you are loyal to other people? i would love to hear your thoughts.
in my work with teen girls, there is a ton of talk about perception, pleasing others, fitting in and how to be the most impressive version of themselves. i find that in addition to listening, i am often debunking myths around the aforementioned. i also find that i am frequently asking the girls to tell me five things about themselves that they love. the answers are often similar – the five things they list are usually associated with what they do as opposed to who they are.
when i point that out and say the question out loud again, i am met with everything from blank stares to loud sighs to tears and everything in between. i remind them that i already know about what they do as i have access to their grades and help each of them build a resumé. i am interested on what is on the inside.
the gist of what i want them to know is this:
“your value stays constant whether it is seen or not.” -seeker
between being teens looking for validation from their parents, their friends and even strangers on social media, i think it is easy to lose sight of not only their value but what determines their value in the first place.
on a phone call with my friend last night, i told her about this question and the importance of asking that even when we are adults. what are five things about yourself that you love? i would love for you to list them below.
remember, you value is not determined by what you do or who sees it, it is determined by who you are even when no one is watching.
pasadena is full of little gems. one of my favorites is the langham. it is a great hotel (especially for weddings and events), the perfect place for a stiff drink during happy hour after work and has an afternoon tea that is on another level.
one of the best things about being back in la is having (almost) weekly dates with gracelyn aka gremlyn aka g. scu brought us together but our families being in la brought us back and we are closer than ever. we have a few places we tend to gravitate towards for our dates – one of them being my living room sofa and another being the breakfast nook in her kitchen. g told me she did not want me to get her a gift for her birthday. this was pretty hard for me to agree to both because of how much i love birthdays and because of how above and beyond she went for my 30th. we started the celebrations a full month before my actual birthday. that being said, i just couldn’t stand the thought of not doing something to celebrate her.
we were sitting at a coffee bean (me with coffee and her with tea) and it dawned on me – i could take her out to an afternoon tea at the langham. i don’t know anyone who loves tea as much as she does, it is the perfect place to spend quality time with someone you love and just has this amazing ambiance. i asked if she had ever been and when she said no, i was thrilled. i reserved a table for the two of us about six weeks out. a credit card is required to hold the reservation but there is no deposit needed. if you like to rack up points on open table like i do, book there!
this past saturday couldn’t come soon enough. we were greeted by a friendly valet staff and were told that instead of $16, our reservation cut the price down to $8. by the time we left, we had been there for four hours so definitely a great bang for your buck while also having your mind at ease knowing your car is in good hands.
when we walked into the lobby of the hotel, it was just overflowing with orchids. and as we walked through the garden to the tea room, it was like entering another world. the attention to detail; the harpist playing softly in the background; the perfectly placed tea sets. it was picturesque.
we had the afternoon tea with wedgewood which included a pot of tea for each of us, finger sandwiches (with everything from jerk shrimp to asian pear), warm scones and an array of french pastries and specialty sweets. everything was stellar from start to finish. and because it was impossible to finish all of it, they boxed it up for us to take home.
without a doubt, g and i will be back again. it is the perfect way to spend an afternoon with your favorite girl(s). what made it even more special was being able to celebrate an extraordinary woman who consistently goes out of her way to make me feel loved and appreciated. what makes me love g even more is her ability to hold space for me even during times that might be tough for her as well. my relationship with her is one of the most reciprocal ones i have and those are hard to come by. i don’t take it for granted.
happy birthday, g. thank you for allowing me to celebrate you for once. and more importantly, thank you for choosing to have me in your orbit. it really is a blessing. i love you endlessly. cheers to 30.
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