i travel quite a bit whether it be for business or pleasure.  while airports can be stressful for some people, if timed properly, airports can be a wonderful place to be.  one of my favorite things about them are the different art installations.  lax has been undergoing a pretty serious remodel and this piece below is right past security when heading towards the escalators in terminal one.

 

 

“everyone’s going through something”

 

what first drew me in were the colors.  it made this particular piece pop off of the wall.  then i noticed how the two girls on the right are just holding and comforting one another.  with me working in mental health at an all girls school, i could really appreciate what that represented. and then, i finally read the message: everyone’s going through something.

 

it is simple.  it is to the point.  it is ridiculously accurate.  it is something i remind my clients of when they are feeling alone/as if no one else understands.  it is something i actively remind myself of on days where i am not being as compassionate and empathetic as i could be.  it is a much needed reminder that no one’s life is perfect, despite what it may look like from the outside/on social media.

 

it’s not just you that’s going through something.  remember that.

 

xoxo,

k. tap

if you know me well, you definitely know my mom, felecia.  well, today, this baddie turns 56!

to celebrate, we did a mother/daughter trip to las vegas with our two favorite girls (my godmother and godsister) – it was a blast. we laughed until we cried, drank more tito’s than what should be allowed in a 72 hour period, ate great food, played a little blackjack and had impromptu dance/karaoke parties in our hotel suite.

what i love most about my mom (aside from how she is literally always down to have a good time) is how huge her heart is. i don’t think i know a more compassionate individual. people just gravitate towards her because her energy is magnetic. she lights up every room she walks into and my brother and i really hit the jackpot when the universe made sure this wonderful woman was ours forever.

happy birthday to my magnificent mama. i love you to the moon and back.

i am all about channeling the same good energy that we pour into others regularly into ourselves.  i think this is even more important for people like me who are either healers by profession or healers because that is the role they were born into (and fulfill in the lives of their loved ones).

 

with that being said, the actual definition of compassion always seemed like it was missing the mark in my opinion – “sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.”  why is the only concern about being sympathetic towards others and alleviating their stress?

 

when i saw this quote my friend jasmine posted, i had to steal it.

 

 

“if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” -jack kornfield

 

when reading more about jack kornfield, i was pleasantly surprised that he is a buddhist practitioner and introduced buddhist mindfulness practices to the western world.  every buddhist i personally know comes from a collectivist culture where it is not uncommon to put the needs and feelings of others before the needs and feelings that they themselves are experiencing.  it made me happy to know of the work jack is doing to spread messages like the one above and that he has such a significant platform to do so.

 

the quote made me take a step back and acknowledge that i will not be able to do my job of being sympathetic and aware of the distress of my clients (with the end goal being to aid in alleviating that stress) if i am not channeling that same compassion inward.

 

compassion is incomplete without the ‘i’ – don’t forget that.

 

xoxo,

k. tap

 

 

for as long as i could remember, my mom has always told my brother and i that “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.  what’s the worst they can say? ‘no?'”

 

as a teen, i hated hearing it, especially because i did not think she was cognizant of what she was actually asking me to do.  in my early 20s, i hated that i was then cognizant of how right she was.  in my mid 20s, i hated how uncomfortable it felt to vocalize my needs.  and now, in my late 20s?  i hate how long it took me to sack up and just be courageous.

 

while courage may look different to each person, the definition merriam-webster provides is: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty.

 

2019 has been full of courageous moments for me.  there have been plenty of times this year where i have been perplexed by how i have accomplished some of the most extraordinary things in my life thus far.  it was as though my friend michelle and i were communicating telepathically.  she reposted this quote from shay mitchell’s page (by the way, go binge watch “you” on netflix immediately – season one was to die for and i am pumped for season two to drop) and it explained so much of my 2019.

 

 

“you get in life what you have the courage to ask for”

 

it is simple. it is to the point.  it could easily be my motto for 2019.

 

this year, i have accomplished quite a bit but so much of that required both vulnerability and courage.  i no longer think of asking for help as a sign of weakness – i view it as a sign of strength to be able to articulate each of my needs unapologetically.

 

this year:

i asked for help from multiple people to launch my blog and now, i just celebrated 100 posts.

i demanded respect from all people in my life (if they plan on staying in it) regardless of whether or not we share a bloodline and as a result, my relationships with my family and friends have improved but most importantly, my relationship with myself has improved.

i asked for friends to show up for me in ways that would feel good for me, especially when going through grief, loss or trauma and i swear to you, it has restored my faith in humanity.

i asked my grammy for guidance in some difficult situations and can feel her steering me in the right direction even without her being physically present.

i asked a few of the healthiest people i know what tips they would have for me to lead a healthier lifestyle and i have seen slow and steady results while feeling supported the entire way.

 

here’s the thing: none of those things would have been accomplished if i did not ask.  it was not luck or coincidence that got me to this point in 2019, it was courage.

 

what are you going to have the courage to ask for before 2019 is over?  just remember, you deserve it.

 

xoxo,

k. tap